1 00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:06,039 [RHYTHMIC DRUMMING, CHANTING] 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:11,778 - WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE LATE DR. THADDEUS VENTURE. 3 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,214 I'M GLAD YOU'RE STILL... HANGING AROUND. 4 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,249 I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR FINDING 5 00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:19,753 GROVER CLEVELAND'S PRESIDENTIAL TIME MACHINE FOR ME. 6 00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:21,254 I'LL GIVE HIM YOUR REGARDS. 7 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,455 - TAKE YOUR TIME, MONARCH. 8 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,358 'CAUSE THE MINUTE YOU FINISH YOUR LITTLE SPEECH, 9 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,493 I'M GONNA KILL YOU. 10 00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:28,595 - WHAT ARE YOU, OBI-WAN KENOBI? 11 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:29,696 JUST LOOK AT YOU SCHMUCKS! 12 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,565 I DON'T THINK I'M THE ONE IN DANGER HERE. 13 00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:35,635 CONSIDERING THE SAD FACT THAT RIGHT BELOW YOU 14 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,971 FLOWS THE MIGHTY AMAZON, 15 00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:41,441 TEEMING WITH THE MOST GRUESOME FISH TO EVER-- 16 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:42,709 - THE PIRANHA! - NO! 17 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:43,610 - THE SHARK? - NO! 18 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:46,012 - THE PIRANHA? - NO! SHUT UP! 19 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,548 THIS ISN'T A QUIZ. NOW, WHERE WAS I? RIGHT. 20 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,417 AHEM. THE DREADED CANDIRU, 21 00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:54,788 A NAUGHTY LITTLE FISH WITH A PENCHANT FOR SWIMMING UP A MAN'S URETHRA 22 00:00:54,854 --> 00:01:00,660 TO FEED ON THE DAMAGED TISSUE OF THE PITIFUL MASS OF FLESH YOU ONCE CALLED YOUR PENIS! 23 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,563 - THAT IS A TOTAL MYTH! THERE IS NO SUCH FISH. 24 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,365 - IS TOO! - NO, THERE ISN'T! 25 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,566 - TIME-OUT! - WHAT? 26 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,300 - TIME-OUT! 27 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,368 I'M REALLY HURT! 28 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,537 THIS ISN'T FREEZE TAG. YOU CAN'T DO THAT! 29 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,772 - I'M SERIOUS. I REALLY FEEL SICK! 30 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,275 - DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT RALPHING ON ME. 31 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,810 - WHERE ARE YOU HURT, BOY? 32 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:17,577 - I DON'T WANT TO SAY. 33 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,812 - OH, GREAT. - DEAN. 34 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,347 - UH, MY NO-NOS HURT. - WHAT THE HELL ARE NO-NOS? 35 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:28,021 - THAT'S THE SUPER ADULT TERM MY TEENAGE SONS USE TO REFER TO THEIR GENITALS...IN PUBLIC... 36 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,522 IN FRONT OF THEIR FATHER. 37 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:33,126 - WELL, DUH. YOU ALL SHALL BE FEELING THE STING IN YOUR NETHERS, 38 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,260 FOR IN SECONDS, 39 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,729 THE DREADED CANDIRU WILL SEEK OUT THE TINY-- 40 00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:39,699 - OOH! - THE KID'S REALLY HURT. LET HIM GO. 41 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,635 - WHY? I'M ABOUT TO KILL ALL OF YOU ANYWAY. 42 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:43,937 WHAT'S THE POINT, REALLY? 43 00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:44,971 - BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO! 44 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,373 IN 1969, THE GUILD OF CALAMITOUS INTENT 45 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:51,010 ENACTED AN ADDENDUM TO ARTICLE 47 OF THE UNUSUAL TORTURE ACT. 46 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:52,612 SO LET'S CUT THE MONKEY BUSINESS. 47 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:53,913 - GO, DAD! - YES, GO DAD. 48 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:56,282 AND WHAT'S MORE, YOU ARROGANT LITTLE TROUBLE-MAKER, 49 00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,650 YOU HAVE TO LET US ALL GO. 50 00:01:57,717 --> 00:01:58,751 - HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT? 51 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:00,620 - HUH. CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF. 52 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:01,955 - MAYBE I WILL. 53 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:03,857 - AH, YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP WITH ALL THIS, DO YOU? 54 00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,291 YOU JUST KEEP PUSHING MY BUTTONS! 55 00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:09,229 - YOU'RE MY ARCH ENEMY! THAT'S WHAT I DO! THAT'S MY THING! 56 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,129 - AAH! 57 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,731 - ALL RIGHT, FINE. 58 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,167 I HAVE A GUILD OF CALAMITOUS INTENT HANDBOOK IN MY GLOVE COMPARTMENT. 59 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,768 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 60 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,070 DON'T GO ANYWHERE. 61 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:21,274 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 62 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,823 - WELL, I THINK THAT'S SETTLED THEN. 63 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,892 WE MEET BACK HERE IN TWO DAYS. 64 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,727 I KEEP THE BIG ONE AS COLLATERAL. 65 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:15,662 - AAH! 66 00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,931 - WHAT IF DEAN DIES BEFORE THEN? 67 00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:18,898 - THEN I KILL THIS GUY. 68 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,800 THE GUILD OF CALAMITOUS INTENT-- 69 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,337 WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, I ONLY JOINED BECAUSE OF FULL-DENTAL AND PARTIAL HEALTH PACKAGE-- 70 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,273 HAS THIS PRETTY CUT AND DRIED. 71 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,175 I HAVE TO KILL HIM. THOSE ARE MY ORDERS. 72 00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,310 - I'M NOT EVEN GOING WITH YOU. 73 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,945 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOING WITH ME? 74 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:32,979 - I'M A BODYGUARD. 75 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,948 YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS, AND I GOT MINE. 76 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:37,817 - OK, THEN, GUARD HIM! 77 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,119 - AAH! HA HA! 78 00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:46,526 - NO WAY! THE ADDENDUM TO THE UNUSUAL TORTURE ACT IS ALSO CALLED RUSTY'S LAW. 79 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,860 THEY USED TO CALL MY DAD RUSTY. 80 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:50,296 - HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR FATHER KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT? 81 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,398 - 'CAUSE HE'S A GENIUS SUPER SCIENTIST. 82 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,967 - I LIKE TO DREAM, TOO, HANK. 83 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:57,737 BUT FACE IT, YOUR GRANDFATHER REALLY DID A NUMBER ON YOUR OLD MAN. 84 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,038 GOD, WHAT A PRO! 85 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,574 I WISH I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO HATE HIM WHEN HE WAS ALIVE! 86 00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:02,976 NOW, THAT WAS AN ARCH ENEMY! 87 00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:04,644 - I NEVER MET MY GRANDFATHER. 88 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,979 I NEVER EVEN MET MY MOM. 89 00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:09,983 - HANK, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER 90 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:12,185 WAS SOMEONE YOU'VE MET BEFORE? 91 00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:14,988 - WHAT? - AND WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR FATHER 92 00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:16,389 IS NOT YOUR REAL FATHER? 93 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:21,861 HANK! HANK! I AM YOUR REAL FATHER! 94 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,597 - NO WAY. NO WAY! THAT'S NOT TRUE! 95 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:29,035 - PSYCHE! HA, SUCKER! YOU WERE ALL, "OH, DADDY, YOU'RE MY DADDY!" 96 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,305 YOU ARE SO GULLIBLE. WHAT IS THAT LIKE? 97 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,041 - CAN I HAVE YOUR PUDDING? 98 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,609 - NO. I'M SO SAVING THAT. 99 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:39,545 - YOU REALLY HAVE TO HOLD THAT SO CLOSE TO MY FACE? 100 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,381 I MEAN, WHERE AM I GONNA GO? 101 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,182 -YEAH, DUDE, EASE UP ON HIM. 102 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:44,751 IT'S NOT LIKE THAT'S LOADED OR ANYTHING. 103 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:47,387 - AW, WHAT ARE YOU? SOME SORT OF AN IMBECILE? 104 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,988 WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT? 105 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,223 - DID YOU LIFT ANYTHING HEAVY? 106 00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:52,392 - I TOLD YOU, IT'S NOT A HERNIA! 107 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,827 - WERE YOU ROUGH-HOUSING WITH YOUR BROTHER? 108 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,362 - NO. - OH, DEAR GOD. 109 00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,265 YOU TWO HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING? 110 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:00,967 - NO! NO. 111 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,703 - I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SEEING A LOT OF THAT LITTLE TRAMP WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR. 112 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,806 LORD KNOWS WHAT KINDS OF DISEASES THAT HUSSY CARRIES. 113 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,408 - AAH! IT'S GETTING WORSE! 114 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,878 - DEAN, I DON'T WANT YOU HANGING AROUND WITH TRIANA ORPHEUS ANYMORE. 115 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:13,680 I DON'T APPROVE OF THE WAY SHE DRESSES. 116 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,382 GIRLS LIKE THAT ARE USUALLY ON THE DOPE. AH! 117 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,852 DEAN, HAVE YOU BEEN SHOOTING DOPE INTO YOUR SCROTUM? 118 00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:21,688 YOU CAN TELL ME! I'M HIP! 119 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:26,893 - DAD, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID! 120 00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,996 SUDDENLY IT JUST FELT LIKE SOMEONE KICKED ME IN THE ROCKS 121 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,465 AND THEY NEVER TOOK THEIR FOOT AWAY! 122 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:35,968 - ALL RIGHT, DEAN, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS. 123 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,270 I HAVE TO PALPATE THE REGION. 124 00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:40,406 - PLEASE, DAD, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T FEEL ME UP! 125 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,308 - I'M GOING TO PALPATE, DEAN. 126 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,143 THIS ISN'T ANY FUN FOR ME EITHER. 127 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,778 DO YOU WANT ME TO GET HELPER TO DO IT? 128 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,013 IS THAT BETTER FOR YOU? 129 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,482 A DODDERING OLD ROBOT WITH COLD, STEEL CLAWS. 130 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,717 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 131 00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:54,020 - AH! I WANT A DOCTOR! 132 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,955 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 133 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,223 - ARE YOU GONNA GET THE PHONE OR WHAT? 134 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,292 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DON'T YOU EVER FLUSH? 135 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,961 THERE'S LIKE A BUCKET FULL OF PAYDAY BARS IN THERE. 136 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,297 - COME ON, FELLA, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE SCREEN! 137 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,798 - IS IT SO HARD TO PULL A HANDLE? 138 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,734 - OH, NOW, WHERE COULD I HAVE HEARD THIS BEFORE? 139 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:13,172 COULD IT BE I READ IT, LIKE, ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES IN THOSE PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE POST-ITS 140 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:14,140 YOU PUT ALL OVER THE CAMPER? 141 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,575 - THOSE AREN'T PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE. 142 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:17,810 THEY'RE INFORMATIVE. ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE PHONE OR NOT? 143 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:23,382 CAN'T. I'M APPARENTLY DOING A DRIVE-BY MISSION FOR THE YARDIES OVER HERE. 144 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,350 [RING] 145 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:25,351 - CONJECTURAL TECHNOLOGIES. 146 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,754 MASTER BILLY, BOY GENIUS, SPEAKING. 147 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,922 - BILLY, YOU GOT TO DO IT. 148 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,492 - HOW CAN WE MAKE YOUR TOMORROW BETTER? 149 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,527 WELL, I--I GUESS IT'S THEORETICALLY POSSIBLE. 150 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:37,463 - IF YOU PUSH THE START BUTTON, YOU CAN SEE MY STATS! 151 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:38,631 - YEAH, UH-HUH. SURE. 152 00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,866 - I AM AWESOME. 153 00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:43,202 - OK, SURE. BUT THEN THERE IS MY RATHER STEEP FEE. 154 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,139 OK, THEN. ALL RIGHT. 155 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:47,640 BYE-BYE. 156 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:48,808 - "BYE-BYE"? 157 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,543 - WELL, HE SAID IT FIRST. IT JUST SLIPPED OUT. 158 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,746 - WELL? DO WE HAVE A JOB? - BRACE YOURSELF. 159 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,082 THAT WAS DR. VENTURE. - GET OUT! 160 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,850 - I WILL NOT. AND THERE'S MORE. 161 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:01,254 IT SEEMS THAT HIS SON HAS A MYSTERIOUS MALADY, 162 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,055 AND HE NEEDS THE HELP OF-- 163 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,324 - CONJECTURAL TECHNOLOGIES. 164 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:06,993 WAY TO GO, BILLY. 165 00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:09,228 DID YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU NEEDED THE AID OF A CERTAIN COMPUTER TECHNICIAN? 166 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:13,766 - YOU'RE IN. - DID YOU ASK FOR SOME EXTRA CASH TO REFUEL THE HELICOPTER? 167 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:14,967 - WE DON'T HAVE A HELICOPTER. 168 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,202 - VENTURE DOESN'T KNOW THAT. 169 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,838 - HIGH 5! - I DON'T THINK SO. 170 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,473 - MAN, THIS IS THE COOLEST BOOK EVER. 171 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:24,944 THERE'S A GUY IN HERE WHO GUARDS HIS HEADQUARTERS WITH ROBOT CHEETAHS! 172 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,212 - OH, YEAH. THE ZOOCREEPER. 173 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,147 OH, HEY, AM I IN THERE? 174 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:29,916 - UH...NOPE. 175 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,117 - "M" FOR MONARCH. 176 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,719 - UH-UH. - TRY "T" FOR "THE MONARCH!" 177 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:37,089 - NOTHING. SO WHERE ARE WE GOING? 178 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,558 - TOWARDS THE BLINKING LIGHT. 179 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:39,826 WE FLY BY RADAR ALONE. 180 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:43,329 THE LOCATION OF MY FLYING COCOON IS HIGHLY SECRETIVE. 181 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,398 EVEN I DON'T KNOW ITS WHEREABOUTS. 182 00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:48,401 IT MAY WELL BE FLOATING OVER THE MOON! 183 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:49,502 - REALLY? - MAYBE. 184 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:52,004 OR EVEN DEEP BELOW THE EARTH'S CRUST. 185 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,673 - HEY! IT'S THE GRAND CANYON. 186 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,408 - OR IT MIGHT BE IN THE GRAND CANYON, 187 00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:57,176 HOVERING WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT. 188 00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:00,847 SURE. YEAH. WOULDN'T RULE THAT OUT. PLAUSIBLE. 189 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,719 - SURPRISE! - CRAP! AN AMBUSH! 190 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,055 - UH! - AW... 191 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,189 - OH, [BLEEP]. 192 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,059 MY BAD. SORRY, EVERYBODY. SORRY. I PANICKED. 193 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,595 AND BEFORE YOU TELL ME WHAT A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW I AM, 194 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:18,798 THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET. 195 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,299 [COLLECTIVE GASP] 196 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,634 [GULPING] 197 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,871 - SOMEONE GOT HIM BROCK SAMSON? NOW I FEEL LIKE A TOOL. 198 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,372 - WHAT'D YOU GET HIM? 199 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,407 - I MADE HIM COUPONS FOR ONE FREE WASHING OF THE MONARCH MOBILE 200 00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,876 AND ONE FREE BACK RUB. 201 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,945 - AREN'T THOSE YOUR JOBS ANYWAY? - YEAH, BUT...THESE ARE COUPONS. 202 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,449 - ALL RIGHT, NOW, LET'S SEE WHAT ALL THIS FUSS IS ABOUT. 203 00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:40,419 - DAVE, YOU WANTED A DOCTOR, AND BILLY IS ONE OF THE BEST. 204 00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:41,821 NOW DROP THOSE PANTS, MISTER. 205 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,990 - ACTUALLY, THIS IS MORE OF A JOB FOR A UROLOGIST. 206 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,158 - BILLY IS MORE OF A NEUROGENETICIST. 207 00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:48,794 - YEAH, BUT THIS KIND OF THING SHOULD BE A WALK IN THE PARK. 208 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,297 - A WALK THROUGH A PARK WITH GENITALS FOR TREES. 209 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,298 - AND HAIR FOR GRASS. 210 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,599 - OH, I'M SURE THAT PUT HIM AT EASE. 211 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:56,202 YOU TWO MIGHT WANT TO WORK ON YOUR BEDSIDE MANNER. 212 00:08:56,269 --> 00:09:00,673 - DR. GIRLFRIEND, I'M COMING IN WITH SOME CAKE. 213 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,109 AND A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. 214 00:09:03,175 --> 00:09:04,877 - COME IN, SWEETIE! 215 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,914 I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU, TOO. 216 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,083 ♪ FOR HE'S A SEXY GOOD FELLOW 217 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:14,487 - OH, SWEET MERCY! DR. GIRLFRIEND! 218 00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:17,156 WON'T YOU COME OVER HERE WITH ME FOR A MOMENT? 219 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,159 - OH, I GUESS THE MUSCULAR ONE IS ALL RIGHT, 220 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,395 BUT THE BOY IS JUST GOING TOO FAR. 221 00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,130 CAN'T WE JUST USE THE PUPPET AGAIN? 222 00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:27,767 - NO, NO. SWEETIE, THIS IS BROCK SAMSON AND HANK VENTURE. 223 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,568 I CAPTURED THEM. - YOU DID NOT! 224 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:33,472 - DID TOO! - I THINK YOU BETTER GIVE US A PLACE TO BED DOWN. 225 00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:36,542 KID HERE GETS KIND OF WIGGY IF HE DOESN'T GET ENOUGH SLEEP. 226 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,312 - OF COURSE. I TREAT MY CAPTIVES AS KINGS. 227 00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:41,180 YOU'LL BE GIVEN THE GRANDEST OF ACCOMMODATIONS. 228 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:46,619 IT WILL BE A FAR CRY FROM SLEEPING OVER DR. VENTURE'S GARAGE LIKE SO MUCH FONZY. 229 00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:50,623 - YOU PUT ME IN A STINKY OLD JAIL CELL LAST TIME I WAS HERE. 230 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,191 - YOU BROKE MY HEART, HANK. 231 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,761 - COME ON, THERE, FELLA, YOU COULD HAVE A REAL PROBLEM. 232 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,663 WITH YOUR LIFESTYLE, WHO KNOWS? 233 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,566 COULD BE AN IMPLANT OR A SPACE VIRUS 234 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,335 OR, UH... - PARASITE. 235 00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:06,339 - SURE. PARASITE GROWING LARGER BY THE MINUTE. 236 00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:09,141 IT PROBABLY WANTS TO EAT YOUR BRAIN. 237 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,378 - OK, OK, BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO LOOK. 238 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,815 - FINE. I'LL GO BEHIND THE SCREEN. 239 00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:18,417 - ALL RIGHT. 240 00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:19,585 LET'S SEE 'EM. 241 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,220 - I DON'T WANT TO SHOW MY JUNK TO A LITTLE BOY. 242 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,889 - OH, COME ON. - YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LOOK! 243 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,191 - I'M NOT LOOKING! 244 00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:27,059 BILLY, FESS UP TO THE BOY. 245 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,329 HE'S BEEN PULLING THAT BOY GENIUS CRAP FOR AT LEAST THE 20 YEARS THAT I'VE KNOWN HIM. 246 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:31,964 - WELL, NOBODY'S REALLY THAT IMPRESSED 247 00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,866 WITH MASTER BILLY QUIZBOY, ADULT GENIUS. 248 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:39,205 - LIKE A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT AND GROWTH HORMONE DEFICIENCY QUALIFIES YOU AS A BOY GENIUS. 249 00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,573 - DON'T FORGET THE HUGE HEAD. 250 00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:43,709 - I COP TO IT. NOW YOU GUYS ARE JUST GANGING UP ON ME. 251 00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:47,113 COULD WE JUST DO THIS, PLEASE? 252 00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:48,647 [ZIP] 253 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,383 HOLY MACKEREL! 254 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:55,021 I AM NOT PREPARED TO RULE OUT THE PARASITE HYPOTHESIS. 255 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,862 WHAT'D YOU GUYS GET HIM? - OH. 256 00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,463 WELL, I HAVE A RAZZLE IN MY POCKET. 257 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,464 I COULD GIVE HIM THAT. 258 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,400 FIRST IT'S A CANDY, THEN IT'S A GUM. 259 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:08,501 SO THAT'S LIKE TWO GIFTS. 260 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,103 - YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY WE'RE HERE, DO YOU? 261 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,205 - BIG BIRTHDAY BASH, WHAT ELSE? 262 00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:14,673 - YEAH. THAT'S IT. 263 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,411 IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE MONARCH NEEDS ANYTHING. 264 00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:22,648 HE'S GOT A FLYING COCOON, 265 00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:27,987 SHARP HENCHMEN IN PEAK PHYSICAL CONDITION. 266 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,156 HE'S GOT IT ALL. 267 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:34,927 - MORNING, SLEEPYHEADS. WISH I HAD YOUR LIFE, SLEEPING ALL DAY. 268 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:38,464 SO, I TRUST YOU FOUND THE LODGING PROVIDED TO BE AGREEABLE? 269 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,332 - I HAD TO SLEEP IN MY CLOTHES. 270 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,001 NOW I FEEL GROSS WEARING THEM TWO DAYS IN A ROW. 271 00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:45,671 - YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? THAT'S THE ONLY OUTFIT I'VE EVER SEEN YOU IN. 272 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:47,640 - WELL, IT DOESN'T MEAN I NEVER WASH IT. 273 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,241 - FAIR ENOUGH. NUMBER 27. 274 00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:51,944 GET THE KID A CHANGE OF CLOTHES. 275 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:52,945 HOW ABOUT YOU? YOU OK? 276 00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:55,181 - I DIDN'T SLEEP IN MY CLOTHES. 277 00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:58,984 - 27, BURN HIS SHEETS! 278 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:03,656 GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE HEART OF THE MONARCH'S LAIR. 279 00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:06,625 THE LIVING NEVER CENTER OF MY OMINOUS BODY, 280 00:12:06,692 --> 00:12:09,995 THIS IS WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS. 281 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:14,900 RELAX...AND ENJOY THE SHOW. 282 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:17,770 - [SNORING] 283 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,422 ARE YOU GOING PAST THE FRIDGE? 284 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,591 WILL YOU GET ME A FRESCA? 285 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,759 WELL, WHAT DO WE USUALLY DO? 286 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,695 - YOU MAKE SOME "I'M GONNA GET DR. VENTURE" SPEECH 287 00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:43,729 AND THEN, YOU KNOW. 288 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,898 - WELL, WE CAN'T DO THAT. 289 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,400 - MAN, THIS IS SAD. 290 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,702 - AH! CRAP, YOU SCARED ME. 291 00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:52,471 - YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT HARP ON DR. VENTURE? 292 00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:55,541 WHY HAVEN'T YOU TRIED THE WORLD DOMINATION THING? 293 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,009 YOU AFRAID OF THE BIG LEAGUES? 294 00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,645 - PLEASE, HOW STUPID DO I LOOK TO YOU? 295 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,247 WORLD DOMINATION. 296 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,150 I'LL LEAVE THAT TO THE RELIGIOUS NUTS AND THE REPUBLICANS, THANK YOU. 297 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,152 BUT I WOULDN'T BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE. 298 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:10,456 THE MONARCH HAS HIS HANDS IN MANY SINISTER SOUPS. 299 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,292 IT'S JUST AN OFF DAY. 300 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,662 - I THOUGHT MY BIRTHDAYS WERE LAME. 301 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,465 - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU DON'T HAVE A PARASITE. 302 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:25,404 THE BAD NEWS IS THAT YOU HAVE A CONDITION KNOWN AS ACUTE TESTICULAR TORTION. 303 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,372 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 304 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:27,873 - WELL, IN A NUTSHELL-- 305 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:28,774 NO PUN INTENDED-- 306 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,242 YOUR BALLS PULLED A 180. 307 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,013 IN A WAY, YOU'RE KIND OF LUCKY. IT ONLY HAPPENS TO ONE IN 4,000. 308 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,015 - IT'S LIKE YOU WON THE GENETIC FREAK LOTTERY. 309 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:37,116 - I BLAME MYSELF. 310 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,450 - OH, THERE'S NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE. 311 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,819 - I COULD HAVE FIXED THIS IN THE PROTOTYPE PHASE. 312 00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,288 - DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. 313 00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:47,259 RAISING A SON IS AN EXPERIMENT NO SCIENTIST IS PREPARED FOR. 314 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,561 - THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, BILLY. 315 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,129 - THANKS. I JUST CAME UP WITH THAT. 316 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:55,000 - COME ON! THEY HAVE ONE FEMALE SERVICING A LARGE GROUP OF MALES. 317 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,570 THAT IMPLIES A SPECIES THAT LAYS EGGS. 318 00:13:57,636 --> 00:13:59,672 - OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE CRAZY. 319 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,006 THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY MAMMALS. 320 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:04,944 - PLEASE! SHE'D BE IN ESTRUS 24/7 IF SHE DIDN'T LAY EGGS. 321 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,112 - SMURFS DON'T LAY EGGS! 322 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,948 I WON'T TELL YOU THIS AGAIN. 323 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,050 PAPA SMURF HAS A [BLEEP]ING BEARD. 324 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:12,885 THEY'RE MAMMALS. 325 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,420 - AH! 326 00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,021 - WELL, WHAT HAPPENS NOW? 327 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:17,656 - WE HAVE A COUPLE OF OPTIONS HERE. 328 00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:19,425 WE CAN DO NOTHING; IT'LL PROBABLY KEEP SWELLING, 329 00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:23,662 AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT BEACH BALL YOU'RE PACKING DOWN THERE CAN'T AFFORD THAT. 330 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,198 OR I COULD PERFORM ORCHIOPEXY. 331 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,067 - THAT MEANS HE WANTS TO OPERATE ON YOU, 332 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,468 AND YOU KNOW, TIE IT DOWN. 333 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,503 - NO WAY! HE'S NOT GONNA OPERATE ON ME! 334 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,440 DAD, CAN'T YOU FIX THIS! AREN'T YOU A DOCTOR?! 335 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,308 MAKE IT GO AWAY! PLEASE! 336 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,843 - TAKE IT EASY, DEAN. 337 00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,912 WELL, WHAT HAPPENS IF WE WAIT? 338 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,213 - THAT'S NO SO GOOD. 339 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,949 MY GUESS IS THAT IN A COUPLE OF HOURS, 340 00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:47,152 YOUR SON'S TESTES ARE GOING TO DIE, THEN ATROPHY. 341 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,387 - THINK RAISINS. 342 00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,222 OR BETTER YET, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE EATING PEANUTS 343 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:54,093 AND YOU CRACK ONE OPEN AND THE LITTLE NUT IS ALL DARK AND CRAMMED INTO ONE CORNER-- 344 00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,494 - YOU'RE FINISHED, RIGHT? 345 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,597 AS FOR UNTWISTING THEM, I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY THEY SPUN. 346 00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:02,101 - UNLESS YOU'RE THAT GUY FROM INXS AND THAT'S, LIKE, YOUR THING, 347 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:03,669 THE PAIN WOULD BE EXCRUCIATING. 348 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,871 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH. 349 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,741 - NURSE, PREP THE PATIENT AND SHAVE THE REGION. 350 00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:12,478 - NURSE? YOU SAID I WAS YOUR TECHNICIAN. 351 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,447 - DO YOU HAVE TO SHAVE IT? 352 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,984 UH...I JUST GREW THOSE. 353 00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:24,156 - DISTRESS CALL FROM CELLBLOCK "C." 354 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:27,192 - EXCELLENT! PUT IT UP ON THE BIG SCREEN! 355 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,728 I WANT THE CAPTIVES TO SEE IT. 356 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:30,929 WHERE'S THE BIG GUY? HE'S GONNA MISS IT. 357 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,498 - BOSS, THERE'S A MONSTER OUT HERE. 358 00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:36,135 - I THINK IT WAS TWO NINJAS TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE ONE GIANT NINJA. 359 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:39,238 - I SAW IT CLIMB THE WALL. IT WAS A GIANT SPIDER! 360 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,206 - SEE? NOW WE'RE TALKING HERE, HUH? 361 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,409 GIANT SPIDER IN THE COCOON. WHERE'S SAMSON? 362 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,577 I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S NOT HERE TO SEE THIS. 363 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:47,513 ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED? AND ONE AT A TIME. 364 00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:48,981 - WE'RE STANDING HERE TALKING, RIGHT? 365 00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:51,450 AND SUDDENLY SOMETHING CUTS NUMBER 43's TENDON. 366 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:56,121 IT WAS HORRIBLE. - OH, HIS CALF MUSCLE ROLLED UP LIKE A WINDOW SHADE. 367 00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:59,658 HE JUST KEPT SCREAMING TILL HE PASSED OUT. 368 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,293 - PARTY'S OVER, MONARCH. 369 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:05,030 IT'S TIME I SHUT DOWN THIS LITTLE TREEFORT OF YOURS. 370 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:08,467 - BROCK SAMSON. I HAD A HUNCH YOU WERE BEHIND THIS. 371 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:11,303 YOU ARROGANCE WILL BE YOUR UNDOING. 372 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,706 I WILL GET YOU, BROCK SAMSON! 373 00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:17,876 NUMBERS 18, 38, 40, AND 31, SECURE THE PRISON LEVEL. 374 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:20,546 ENGINEERING, I WANT A STEADY STREAM OF CYANIDE 375 00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:23,682 PUMPED INTO THE VENTS OF SECTION 1 THROUGH 4. 376 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:25,117 MOVE! 377 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:26,452 OH, AND BROCK? 378 00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:29,254 - WHAT? - THANK YOU. 379 00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:50,509 RELEASE THE BUTTERFLIES! 380 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:56,248 OK, WHOSE JOB WAS IT TO FEED THE BUTTERFLIES? 381 00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:05,190 - WAY TO GO, BILLY. NICE JOB. 382 00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:08,360 AND THAT KNOT YOU TIED, WHAT IS THAT, A SHEEP SHANK? 383 00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:09,661 - YEAH. IT'S MY SIGNATURE. 384 00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,597 - IT SURE MAKES A STATEMENT. 385 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:12,731 - HIGH 5. 386 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,533 - COME ON, WOULD YOU STOP WITH THAT? REALLY. 387 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,669 - BROCK IS TOTALLY WAILING ON YOU GUYS. 388 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:19,772 THE SCREEN SAYS YOU JUST LOST ANOTHER UNIT. 389 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:22,341 - NONSENSE! HE'S IN MY WORLD NOW. 390 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:27,579 THE COCOON'S INTERNAL DEFENSE SYSTEM WAS DESIGNED BY A GENIUS--ME! 391 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:30,549 WE'RE MERELY TOYING WITH HIM, DRAWING HIM OUT. 392 00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,719 LET HIM TAKE AS MANY PAWNS AS HE NEEDS! 393 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:34,653 - HEY! 394 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,488 - HEY WHAT? - CAN I TRY THAT ON? 395 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,056 - IT'S ALL PINNED TO THE COWL. 396 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,326 KIND OF A PAIN IN THE ASS TO GET BACK ON. 397 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,930 - SCREAM, I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK. 398 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,165 DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 399 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:50,469 - YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, AREN'T YOU? 400 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,137 WELL, BE QUICK WITH IT. 401 00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:56,141 - TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I NEVER REALLY CONSIDERED THAT. 402 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,142 - WHY NOT? 403 00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:57,943 - JUST DIDN'T. 404 00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,179 - WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BEG. 405 00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,216 - WHAT HAPPENED TO MY UNDERWEAR? 406 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,717 - YOU CAN'T WEAR UNDERPANTS 407 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:07,352 UNTIL WE REMOVE THE DRESSING, SWEETIE. 408 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,387 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 409 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:09,521 WHAT ARE ALL THOSE PEOPLE DOING HERE? 410 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,424 - I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED SOME CHEERING UP. 411 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,928 - I BROUGHT YOU A ZUNI FETISH DOLL 412 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:19,531 FOR BEING SUCH A BRAVE LITTLE TROOPER. 413 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,167 I DO HOPE YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE ONE. 414 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,570 - YOU'RE GOOD AS NEW, MAYBE EVEN BETTER. 415 00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:28,874 I HOOKED YOU UP WITH A COMPLETE PACKAGE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 416 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:29,975 - I DON'T. 417 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,276 - [BEEPING] 418 00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:35,414 - A WARM FREEZER POP. HOW THOUGHTFUL. 419 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:36,949 - I SAVED THESE FOR YOU. 420 00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:39,952 I WAS GONNA TAPE THEM IN A SCRAPBOOK, BUT HERE. 421 00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,987 THEY'RE YOUR PUBIC HAIRS. 422 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,056 - THANKS...I GUESS. 423 00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:45,424 UH, HEY, TRIANA. 424 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,125 - KISS HIM. THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE. 425 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:53,131 - SO TELL ME, IS THIS THE MOST HUMILIATING MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE, OR WHAT? 426 00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:55,100 - EASILY. 427 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,670 - LET THE GIRLFRIEND GO! IT'S ME YOU WANT. 428 00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,372 - GIVE ME THE BOY, MONARCH. 429 00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:01,440 - THE BOY'S WITH ME NOW. 430 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:04,243 HE HAS TASTED THE FRUITS OF SUPERVILLANY 431 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,577 AND FOUND THEM SWEET. 432 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,845 - NO, I HAVEN'T. - OK, FINE. 433 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:10,449 GIVE ME THE GIRL OR YOUR PRECIOUS HANK VENTURE DIES! 434 00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:13,852 - MONARCH, WE HAVE TRANSMISSION FROM THE VENTURE COMPOUND. 435 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,387 - [BLEEP]! IT'S YOUR FATHER! 436 00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:17,289 EVERYBODY SCRAMBLE! 437 00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:19,525 - ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. 438 00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,493 - HOLD THAT TRANSMISSION. 439 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,962 - GET THESE CORPSES OUT OF HERE! 440 00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:25,597 - HELLO. COME IN, MONARCH. - GO, GO, GO! 441 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,735 - THIS IS DR. THADDEUS VENTURE. WHAT IS YOUR STATUS? OVER. 442 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:32,104 - AND WHO MAY I SAY IS CALLING? 443 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,539 - YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO I AM. 444 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:35,073 I JUST SAID THIS IS DR. THADDEUS VENTURE. 445 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,041 NOW PUT THE MONARCH ON. 446 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,376 - AHEM. THIS IS THE MONARCH. 447 00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:38,777 EVERYTHING IS SUPER GREAT AND NORMAL HERE. 448 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,946 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - HAS YOUR SON DIED YET, 449 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,080 OR WAS HE FAKING IT? 450 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:44,082 - NO, HE HAD A LEGITIMATE MEDICAL CONDITION, 451 00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,350 AND THAT'S BEEN SOLVED. 452 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,852 - MY TESTICLES SPUN AROUND. 453 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,087 HEY, HANK. I HAD EMERGENCY SURGERY. 454 00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:50,355 - DEAN, DADDY'S TALKING NOW. 455 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,791 I'M READY TO FINISH THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU NOW, 456 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,560 SO IF WE--WHAT? 457 00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:57,062 IS THAT BLOOD ALL OVER YOU? WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE? 458 00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:58,764 - OH, THIS? THIS IS JELLY. 459 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:03,769 WE WERE JUST ENJOYING A GIFT PACK OF ASSORTED JAMS AND PRESERVES. 460 00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:06,738 MMM. YUMMY. 461 00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:07,873 - BROCK! HANK! 462 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,541 - EVERYTHING IS FINE, DOC. 463 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,510 WE JUST A LITTLE-- - PARTY! 464 00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,844 WE HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY. - HEY, POP! 465 00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:14,513 - IS THAT TRUE, HANK? - I GUESS. 466 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,347 HEY, DEAN! 467 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:16,782 - HANK, I HAD MY PUBES SHAVED. 468 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:19,051 I'M GONNA PUT THEM UNDER MY PILLOW FOR THE TOOTH FAIRY. 469 00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:21,320 - DID THE DOCTOR SEE THAT CREEPY DOG DORK OF YOURS? 470 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,355 - HANK, DON'T BRAG TO YOUR BROTHER ABOUT YOUR CIRCUMCISION. 471 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:24,523 AND WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? 472 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,558 - IT'S THE MONARCH'S CROWN. - WE HAD A PARTY. 473 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:27,993 - LOOK, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 474 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,396 I'M TAKING DEAN BACK TO THE AMAZON AS PER OUR ARRANGEMENT. 475 00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:32,998 OVER AND OUT! 476 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,835 - WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE LATE DR. THADDEUS VENTURE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 477 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,337 - COME ON, GET TO THE END PART. 478 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,538 I CAN'T FEEL MY HANDS. 479 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:40,806 - VERY WELL, DR. VENTURE. 480 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,475 I, TOO, AM ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU SEVERELY MANGLED, 481 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,278 FOR BELOW YOU SWIMS THE DREADED CANDIRU, 482 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:50,849 A NAUGHTY LITTLE FISH WITH A PENCHANT FOR SWIMMING UP A MAN'S URETHRA. 483 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,184 - COME ON, JUST DO IT. 484 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,286 - OH, YOU'RE REAL FUN. 485 00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:55,420 CUT THE ROPE! 486 00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:59,458 AND LET THEM FEEL THE STING OF THE MONARCH! 487 00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,460 - OH, TIME-OUT! 488 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,307 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 489 00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:19,578 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 490 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,556 - GO TEAM VENTURE! 491 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:38,797 - TESTICULAR TORSION ISN'T JUST SOMETHING ON TV. 492 00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,432 IT'S A REAL PROBLEM. 493 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:45,437 - TESTICULAR TORSION OCCURS ONLY IN MALES USUALLY UNDER 25 YEARS OF AGE. 494 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:48,674 - IF YOU'RE EXPERIENCING SHARP PAINS IN THE SCROTUM, 495 00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:50,509 SWELLING IN ONE OF BOTH TESTES, 496 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:55,847 OR EVEN BLOOD IN YOUR SEMEN, YOUR GENITALS ARE MOST LIKELY DYING. 497 00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:59,851 - THAT'S RIGHT, DOC. SO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM, 498 00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:05,824 YOU NEED TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AS SOON AS YOU EXPERIENCE PAIN, 499 00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:08,126 LIKE HANK AND DEAN HERE DID. 500 00:22:08,193 --> 00:22:10,662 - SO DON'T BE A JACKASS. GO SEE A DOCTOR. 501 00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:16,535 - IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR TESTICLES HEALTHY, REMEMBER THESE 3 WORDS: 502 00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:18,670 STOP... 503 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:19,471 - TOUCH... 504 00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:20,572 AND TELL. 505 00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,141 TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT TESTICULAR TORSION, 506 00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:25,644 YOU CAN LOOK IN SPECIAL MEDICAL BOOKS. 507 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:27,646 - OR ON THE INTERWEB.