1 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,714 [ PANTING ] 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,632 Monarch, on PA: YOU'RE PROBABLY ASKING YOURSELF -- 3 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:08,758 HOW DID IT ALL COME TO THIS? 4 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,844 HOW DID I GET HERE WHEN THERE WERE 5 00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:14,264 SO MANY PATHS I COULD HAVE CHOSEN? 6 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,391 GREAT! I NEED THIS NOW, TOO? 7 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:21,104 [ MONARCH LAUGHING ] 8 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:26,860 YET ANOTHER DEAD END, VENTURE! 9 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:27,736 AAH! 10 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,195 AND AS YOU LOOK BACK ON YOUR PATHETIC LIFE, 11 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,240 YOU'LL SEE THAT IT WAS ALL JUST ONE LONG, WINDING, 12 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:36,411 INEVITABLE ROAD TO THIS VERY MOMENT... 13 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,079 AAAAHHH! 14 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,957 BUT I WON'T LET YOU OFF THAT EASILY, VENTURE. 15 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,334 YOU WILL HAVE YOUR DATE WITH DEATH, 16 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:46,254 BUT SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO SIT THIS ONE OUT... 17 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:49,799 FOR THE MONARCH HAS THE FIRST DANCE! 18 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,092 [ LAUGHING ] 19 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,303 DANCE! DANCE, LITTLE MAN! 20 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,973 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A HELPLESS PUPPET OF FATE? 21 00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:58,099 OH, SORRY. 22 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,602 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PICK IT UP HERE ANOTHER TIME. 23 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,436 WHAT? 24 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:02,937 IT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. I HAVE MY THERAPY. 25 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,522 WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT? 26 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:05,815 UH, NEW GUILD CLEMENCY CLAUSE. 27 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,777 MENTAL HEALTH ARCH EXCLUSION. 28 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,445 LET ME SEE THAT. 29 00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,322 OH, DAMN IT TO -- A HA! 30 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,532 IT SAYS HERE YOU'RE EXCUSED ONLY 31 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,785 IF YOU HAVE A NOTE FROM YOUR DOCTOR. 32 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,203 GOT ONE RIGHT HERE. 33 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:21,331 IT'S, UH, IT'S IN MY POCKET. 34 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,880 WELL, VENTURE, IF I CAN'T MURDER YOU TODAY, 35 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,007 AT LEAST IT WOULD APPEAR I HAVE FINALLY SUCCEEDED 36 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,967 IN DRIVING YOU INSANE! 37 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:33,968 THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY TRUE. 38 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,137 PEOPLE SEEK THERAPISTS FOR ALL KINDS OF REASONS. 39 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:41,643 MAN, WHEN MY WIFE LEFT ME, I WENT THROUGH A PRETTY BAD-- 40 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:42,310 [ SIGHS ] 41 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,979 OKAY, HENCHMEN! THAT'S A WRAP! 42 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,815 ABORT MAYHEM, AND FALL IN! 43 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:49,859 HEY, HEY HEY! WHAT'S WITH THE BITCHING? 44 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,444 YOU DON'T WANT A NIGHT OFF? 45 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,571 YOU GOT LUCKY THIS TIME, OLD MAN. 46 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,115 OH, IN YOUR DREAMS, FAT BACK! 47 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:00,453 SO...I DON'T KNOW. 48 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,121 SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD JUST BE A NORMAL KID, 49 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,667 AND GO OUT AND PLAY WITH KIDS MY OWN AGE AND STUFF. 50 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,962 THE ONLY PEOPLE I GET TO HANG OUT WITH ARE GROWN-UPS. 51 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,713 THE ONLY TIME I GET TO LEAVE THE COMPOUND 52 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,842 IS TO GO SOMEPLACE CREEPY LIKE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE, 53 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,928 AND THEN I GET KIDNAPPED BY GROWN-UPS. 54 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,721 AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE I WANNA BE A SUPER SCIENTIST 55 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:19,931 WHEN I GROW UP ANYWAY. 56 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:23,852 BUT I FEEL ALL THIS PRESSURE BECAUSE OF MY FA-- 57 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:24,853 IT FEELS WEIRD TELLING YOU ALL THIS STUFF. 58 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,772 REMEMBER, RUSTY -- IN HERE, 59 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,191 I'M YOUR DOCTOR, NOT YOUR FATHER. 60 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,818 NOW LET'S GET BACK TO IT, SHALL WE? 61 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,444 YOU WERE TELLING ME HOW YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL 62 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,779 FOR ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES YOUR FATHER HAS GIVEN YOU, 63 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:38,283 AND YOU BLAME ME FOR ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. 64 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,117 [ SIGHS ] 65 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,702 SO, YOU CAN SEE WHY I'VE BEEN RELUCTANT 66 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,328 TO GO BACK INTO THERAPY. 67 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:46,749 WELL, I HOPE YOU'LL FIND THIS A MUCH HEALTHIER ENVIRONMENT 68 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,211 IN WHICH TO BEGIN A NEW ADVENTURE OF HEALING. 69 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,046 BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN IT ALONE ANYMORE. 70 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,800 EVERYONE, LET'S ALL WELCOME RUSTY TO OUR LITTLE GROUP. 71 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,135 All: HI, RUSTY! 72 00:02:57,218 --> 00:03:00,388 EVERYONE HERE CAN RELATE TO WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, RUSTY. 73 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:03,308 AS BOY ADVENTURERS, THEY'VE BEEN THERE, TOO. 74 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,603 SO, I THINK MAYBE A GOOD WAY FOR US TO GET STARTED TONIGHT 75 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,730 IS IF WE JUST QUICKLY GO AROUND THE ROOM, 76 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,733 AND EACH OF YOU TELLS RUSTY A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF 77 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,568 AND YOUR JOURNEY TO THE GROUP. 78 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,862 ME FIRST? 79 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,448 WELL, I HAVE A BIT OF AN EATING DISORDER. 80 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,866 NOOO. 81 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,367 LANCE, WAIT YOUR TURN. 82 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,243 AS A SUPERHERO SIDEKICK, 83 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,621 I LED A VERY ACTIVE, ATHLETIC LIFESTYLE. 84 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:27,498 BUT WHEN I TURNED 18, 85 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:31,002 AND I WAS, SHALL WE SAY, REPLACED WITH A NEWER MODEL, 86 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:35,089 UH, I STARTED PUTTING THE WEIGHT ON. 87 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,508 THEN I'D EAT MORE 88 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,553 BECAUSE I WAS DEPRESSED. 89 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,262 AND... 90 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,431 I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES? 91 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,767 MORE? 92 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:46,476 TELL RUSTY YOUR NAME. 93 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,186 OH, WELL, THAT'S A TRICKY ONE. 94 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,480 UH, YEAH, THE LATEST DRAMA IN MY CAPED CRUSADE 95 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,941 AGAINST CAPTAIN SUNSHINE'S LAWYERS IS 96 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,108 I GET TO KEEP MOST OF THE COSTUME, 97 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:58,112 BUT I'M NO LONGER ALLOWED TO CALL MYSELF WONDERBOY 98 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,948 WHEN I APPEAR IN PUBLIC. 99 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:00,448 MALL OPENINGS. 100 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,908 LANCE. 101 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,117 MY TURN? UM, LANCE HALE. 102 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,453 ONE HALF OF THE WORLD FAMOUS HALE BROTHERS. 103 00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,454 BOY DETECTIVES? YOU'VE HEARD OF US. 104 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:08,998 I'M HERE BECAUSE MY ALLEGEDLY TWIN BROTHER DALE 105 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,125 IS STILL HAVING TROUBLE GETTING OVER OUR FATHER'S DEATH. 106 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,504 I CAN STILL SEE HIS FACE THROUGH THE SOFT FOCUS 107 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,464 OF THE STEAM FROM HIS POOLING BLOOD 108 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,716 AS HE LAY SPUTTERING ON THE COLD LINOLEUM. 109 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,468 PUNCH BUGGY DEPRESSING! 110 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,804 NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT CRAP, DALE. 111 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,180 [nervous chuckle] SORRY. 112 00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:25,890 WE DIDN'T JUST LOSE OUR DAD THAT NIGHT. 113 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:29,102 HIS MURDER REMAINS OUR ONLY UNSOLVED CASE EVER. 114 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,438 WE HAD TO QUIT THE BUSINESS BECAUSE THE SHAME WAS JUST -- 115 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,314 PFFT! YEAH. 116 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,191 RETIRING AT 30 ON DADDY'S FAMOUS FORTUNE 117 00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:36,818 MUST HAVE BEEN REAL HARD ON YOU. 118 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,069 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, ACTION JUNKIE, 119 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,321 HE BEQUEATHED MOST OF IT TO THE LOCAL BOY DETECTIVE ACADEMY. 120 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:44,367 WE HARDLY GOT DICK BECAUSE NOTHING WE DID WAS EVER 121 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,076 GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM! 122 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,036 HE DID LEAVE US THAT NICE CAR. 123 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,913 IT'S TOTALLY [bleep] CHERRY! BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT, DALE. 124 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,289 AND DON'T INTERRUPT ME AGAIN OR I'LL SWEAR I'LL SO [bleep] SOCK YOU. 125 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:55,336 UH, JOHNNY, HOW ABOUT YOU TELL RUSTY WHY YOU'RE HERE. 126 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,921 AH, RUSTY KNOWS ME FROM WAY BACK, 127 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,632 SO WE CAN SKIP -- JUST GO TO RO-BOY. 128 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,009 HI, HI, DOCTOR VENTURE. 129 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,301 MY NAME IS RO-BOY. 130 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,138 BUT I JUST WANNA POINT OUT I'M ONLY HERE 'CAUSE 131 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,182 ACTION JOHNNY HAD HIMSELF A LITTLE RUN-IN WITH JOHNNY LAW 132 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:12,603 AND WAS ORDERED TO ATTEND BY JOHNNY JUDGE. 133 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,855 NOT MY FAULT. INTERESTING. 134 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:17,567 GROUP, DO YOU SEE HOW JOHNNY VIEWS HIS WHOLE WORLD 135 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,068 AS SOME SORT OF CABAL OF JOHNNIES 136 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,363 WHO ARE CONSPIRING TO UNDERMINE HIM? 137 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,906 THAT'S WHAT WE CALL PARANOID PROJECTION, 138 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,160 AND IT'S A CLASSIC EXPRESSION OF NARCISSISTIC RAGE. 139 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,953 IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH, DUDE. 140 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,913 AND THE JUDGE'S NAME WAS ACTUALLY JOHN. 141 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,790 IT'S, LIKE, THE MOST COMMON NAME IN THE WORLD. 142 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,959 WRONG! THAT WOULD BE MUHAMMED. GOOGLED IT. 143 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:38,046 LANCE, THE BLACKBERRY STAYS OFF DURING SHARE TIME. 144 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,380 THAT GOES FOR EVERYONE. 145 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,215 PLEASE TURN OFF ALL CELL PHONES, VIEW COMMS, 146 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:45,720 2-WAY TV WRIST COMMUNCIATORS, WHAT HAVE YOU. 147 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,472 BEEP BOOP. 148 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:48,514 WHAT WAS THAT? 149 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,558 YOU JUST TURNED OFF THE RADIO IN MY UTILITY BELT, 150 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:51,350 LIKE HE SAID TO. 151 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,186 YOU SAID "BEEP BOOP" WITH YOUR MOUTH. 152 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,813 NO, I DIDN'T. LEAVE ME ALONE. 153 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,024 BOYS, THIS IS REALLY SOMETHING 154 00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,317 WE CAN GET INTO DURING OUR CONFESSIONALS. 155 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,863 Hatred: TEN BUCKS FOR A DANG MOVIE, ANOTHER TEN FOR POPPED CORN, 156 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,031 AND THEN THEY GOT THE GALL TO MAKE YOU SIT THROUGH 157 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:08,076 A BUNCH OF PAID ADVERTISEMENTS. 158 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,994 UGH, THAT KID ROCK ONE FOR THE ARMY... 159 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,705 LOOK, THERE'S A WHOLE EMPTY ROW RIGHT THERE. 160 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:13,998 LET'S JUST MOVE UP ONE. 161 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,042 IT'S TOO CLOSE FOR MY KINETOSIS. 162 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,294 I GET NAUSEOUS DURING THE BATTLES. 163 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:21,798 AWFUL LOT OF KIDS HERE, HUH? 164 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,801 YOU'RE NEVER TOO YOUNG FOR ENCHANTMENT. 165 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,720 WHAT IS -- NO! NO, NO, NO! 166 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,889 AW, COME ON! 167 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:30,932 [ INHALES ] 168 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:35,061 MY DAD'S LAB WAS LIKE A PHARMACOLOGICAL CANDY STORE, 169 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,771 SO I STARTED REAL YOUNG. 170 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,565 NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M BLOWING LINES OF VOODOO POWDER 171 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:43,444 OFF THE BACK OF A MONKEY'S PAW I BOUGHT IN CALCUTTA. 172 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,320 NOW I'M ALL OUT OF WISHES. 173 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:47,698 I WASN'T EVEN ALLOWED TO WEAR LONG PANTS 174 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:48,950 UNTIL I LEFT FOR COLLEGE. 175 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,119 IS IT ANY WONDER I DIDN'T LOSE MY VIRGINITY 176 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,078 UNTIL I WAS OVER 20? 177 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,622 SO DUMBASS HERE IS SO FREAKED OUT BY THE MESS, 178 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,083 HE FORGETS 20 YEARS OF DETECTIVE TRAINING 179 00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,253 AND ACTUALLY PICKS UP THE SHOTGUN WITH HIS BARE HANDS. 180 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:03,631 WELL, I JUST INSTINCTIVELY REACHED OUT TO STOP HIM, OF COURSE. 181 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,634 AND SO, THAT'S HOW BOTH OUR SETS OF PRINTS 182 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,302 ENDED UP ON THE MURDER WEAPON. 183 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,303 I TRIED TO BE GOOD. 184 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,430 I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF SOMETIMES. 185 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,392 WHEN I SEE A GIANT ROBOT I JUST GET SO MAD, 186 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,060 I WANNA BEAT THEM UP! 187 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,186 AND THEN I WANNA BURN THEM! 188 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,898 SOMETIMES I WANNA BURN THE WHOLE WORLD! 189 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,608 I MEAN, I CAN'T EVEN GET AN ERECTION NOW 190 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:26,237 UNLESS I'M TIED TO A CHAIR WITH A TIMEBOMB TAPED TO MY CHEST. 191 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,490 Narrator, on movie: FROM THIS, THE REALM OF THE SPIDER KING 192 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,410 THROUGH THE REALM OF THE TREE PEOPLE, 193 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,494 TO THE REALM... 194 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,371 AWFUL LOT OF REALMS IN THIS THING. 195 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,456 HEY, THE LITTLE FELLER WITH THE AX, 196 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,749 WHAT'S HIS DEAL AGAIN? 197 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,626 THAT'S GRIMSBY. HE'S A TROLL. 198 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,961 I LIKE HIM. HE'S GOT MOXIE. 199 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,089 SHH! IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! 200 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:45,965 WHO COMES TO THE LAST MOVIE IN A TRILOGY 201 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:48,301 WITHOUT SEEING THE FIRST TWO? 202 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,469 HOT CHA! WHO'S THAT FRESH TOMATO? 203 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,888 SHH! THAT'S ANASTOS. 204 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,014 HE'S THE PRINCE OF THE ELVEN REALM. 205 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,850 HE? THAT'S A FELLA. 206 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,436 MY GOD, HE'S BEAUTIFUL! 207 00:07:58,519 --> 00:07:59,562 HE LOOKS LIKE A, 208 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,856 LIKE A LITTLE WHITE CHOCOLATE DOLL BOY. 209 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,066 TECHNICALLY, HIS PEOPLE DON'T HAVE A GENDER. 210 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:07,153 AND THEY DON'T AGE. THEY JUST STAY 13 FOREVER! 211 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,071 WHAT? DID HENRY DARGER WRITE THIS? 212 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,241 WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MOVIE DID YOU DRAG ME TO? 213 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:12,992 SHH!! 214 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:14,827 WHY DON'T YOU SHUSH THOSE WINGS? 215 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:15,453 HEY, DON'T BLAME ME, MAN. 216 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,038 WE WOULDN'T BE SITTING HERE 217 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,289 IF YOUR DAD DIDN'T PULL A SECTION 8. 218 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,499 YEAH, AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ARCH US WITHOUT HIM. 219 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,752 WHO'S ARCHING? I'M TRYING TO WATCH A MOVIE. 220 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,713 WELL, YOU'RE RUINING MY WHOLE CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE. 221 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,757 AND THAT TOTALLY COUNTS AS ARCHING. 222 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,425 I CAN'T TAKE IT! 223 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:31,510 I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE. 224 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,595 EXCUSE ME. 225 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,431 PARDON. 226 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,766 I'M AN ANGRY NATIVE. 227 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,351 BOOGA BOOGA! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO! 228 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,186 UH, SHOOT HIM? YOU DON'T HAVE A GUN. 229 00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:43,064 UH, GET A GROWN-UP TO SHOOT HIM? 230 00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:44,899 YOU'RE ALL ALONE IN THIS JUNGLE. 231 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:45,858 ER? RUN AND HIDE? 232 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,902 NO MORE RUNNING! NO MORE HIDING. 233 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,946 CONFRONT YOUR PROBLEM HEAD ON! 234 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,490 OKAY, UH. 235 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,410 HOW ABOUT JUST TALKING TO HIM. 236 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:56,994 TALKING? 237 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,913 YES, HE'S AN ANGRY NATIVE 238 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,831 BUT HE'S ALSO A PERSON. 239 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,584 START A DIALOGUE. UH, OKAY. 240 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,419 UM... [clears throat] 241 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,256 WHY YOU GUYS ALWAYS CHASE ME WITH SPEARS? 242 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,257 YOU PARKED YOUR GIANT IRON THUNDERBIRD 243 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,635 ON MY ANCESTORS' BURIAL GROUND. 244 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,635 I DID? 245 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,637 I'M AFRAID YOU'RE A TRICKSTER GOD 246 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,013 WHO WILL WOO MY WOMEN AWAY 247 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:16,722 AND FLY THEM TO YOUR SKY HUT. 248 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,808 WELL, I... I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 249 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,435 I'M SORRY? 250 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,272 I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY. NOW HUG ME. 251 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,774 I DON'T -- I DON'T -- 252 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:27,858 O--OKAY. 253 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,027 THERE. SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS? 254 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,613 WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN INNER ANGRY NATIVES. 255 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,448 AND OUR MINDS INVENT A MILLION WAYS 256 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,659 TO AVOID CONFRONTING THEM DIRECTLY. 257 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:37,618 BUT IF YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM IN THE EYE 258 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:41,038 AND ASK THEM WHY THEY'RE CHASING YOU WITH SPEARS, 259 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,457 YOU JUST MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING... 260 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,959 ABOUT YOURSELF. 261 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:45,835 QUESTION? 262 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,795 UH, YEAH. IN MY LINE OF BOY ADVENTURING, 263 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:50,881 I DIDN'T REALLY DEAL WITH ANGRY NATIVES, SO... 264 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,091 YEAH, US NEITHER. 265 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,635 THEN CALL THEM WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOUR SPECIFIC GENRE'S IDIOM. 266 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,138 INNER INTERNATIONAL JEWEL THIEF, FOR INSTANCE. 267 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,557 INNER SUPERVILLAIN. 268 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,725 INNER JELLY DOUGHNUT. 269 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,268 INNER GIANT ROBOT WORKS. 270 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:06,147 JOHNNY, YOU CAN STOP HUGGING THE NATIVE NOW. 271 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,733 [ LAUGHTER ] COME ON, GUYS. 272 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:09,817 BY THE WAY, 273 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,445 YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO ASK THE LITTLE FELLA HIS NAME. 274 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,904 OH! UM... 275 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,157 EH, WHAT'S-- WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 276 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,533 CHEMICAL DEPENDENCE. 277 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:19,201 SEE WHAT I JUST DID THERE. 278 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,036 All: AHHHHH... 279 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:23,497 OKAY, UM, DR. VENTURE, IT'S YOUR TURN. 280 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,167 ALL RIGHT, BUT UH, JUST DO ME A FAVOR 281 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,877 AND WHISPER YOUR NAME TO ME 282 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,171 WHEN WE GET TO THAT PART, OKAY? 283 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,881 OW! CHARLIE HORSE. 284 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,675 OKAY, SO... 285 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,844 OH, WE'RE UP TO THE HUG ALREADY? 286 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,012 [ GAGGING ] 287 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,598 UH, WHAT IS THIS? LIKE, A PRIMAL SCREAM THING? 288 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,183 AM I SUPPOSED TO -- 289 00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,894 [ SCREAMING WEAKLY ] 290 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:49,231 [ GAGGING ] 291 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,524 WHAT HAPPENED? 292 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,567 DID I JUST KILL PREMATURE EJACULATION? 293 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,488 HOLY VANISHING VITALS! 294 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:56,238 HE'S DEAD! 295 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,699 OH, MAN! OH, MAN! TOO HEAVY. 296 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,035 THIS IS TOO HEAVY! GET OUT OF THERE, DALE. 297 00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:01,869 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? 298 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,872 DETECTIVE WORK, LANCE. REMEMBER THAT? 299 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:05,790 RUSTY, SMELL THE TEA. 300 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,583 POISON? 301 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:10,002 CHAMOMILE. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE. 302 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,629 IT'S FAMILIAR, BUT I CAN'T -- 303 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,130 WHAT THE HELL IS RO-BOY DOING? 304 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,590 WHY WON'T HE REBOOT? 305 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,093 DOESN'T HE HAVE ONE OF THESE? 306 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,637 HOLY RIGORMORTIS. 307 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,013 RO-BOY MADE SOMETHING REBOOT. 308 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:24,058 CHECK IT OUT. 309 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:26,227 WHOA! WHOA! OUT OF THE WAY! 310 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,645 DUDES, GET BACK! 311 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:28,687 THAT IS A VIETNAMESE TWO-STEP VIPER! 312 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,274 ONE BITE, AND YOU'RE DEAD BEFORE YOU TAKE TWO STEPS. 313 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,401 THERE'S NO SUCH THING. 314 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,070 YEHA, I'M MAKING IT UP. IT'S RIGHT THERE, DUDE! 315 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,154 THAT AIN'T A [bleep] HOLOGRAM, 316 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,740 OR AN OLD LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER IN A RUBBER MASK, OKAY? 317 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,201 I MEAN THERE'S NO SUCH SNAKE. THAT'S AN URBAN MYTH. 318 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:43,285 BRO'S RIGHT. I GOOGLED IT. 319 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,579 HEY, ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN-NOSER, 320 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,706 CAN YOU GOOGLE THIS THING THE HELL AWAY FROM ME? 321 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,624 DON'T PANIC, RUSTY. 322 00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:51,502 I CARRY SNAKE REPELLANT IN MY UTILITY BELT. 323 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,087 I USED TO. OKAY, PANIC. 324 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,798 WHY DOES IT WANT ME? 325 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,134 [ gasp! ] SNAKE PHEROMONES. 326 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,552 WHY?! 327 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,930 [ SCREAMING ] 328 00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,224 OH! 329 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,475 [ DOC LAUGHS ] 330 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,227 NICE WORK, RO-BOY. 331 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,521 JOHNNY, YOU'RE GETTING HIS FILES? 332 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:11,564 UH, NO. 333 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,357 I WAS GETTING PRESCRIPTION PADS. 334 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,442 BUT YOU WANT THE FILES? COOL. 335 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,444 WAIT, WAIT, WHY DO YOU WANT HIS FILES? DALE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 336 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,946 THE DOCTOR TREATED A LOT OF SHADY CHARACTERS 337 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,030 IN HIS OTHER GROUPS. 338 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,074 I BET YOU REAL MONEY ONE OF THEM HAD IT OUT FOR HIM. 339 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,617 STOP THIS. WE'RE RETIRED. 340 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,619 DON'T DRAG US INTO ANOTHER MYSTERY. 341 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,789 THE MAN TRIED TO HELP US. WE OWE IT TO HIM. 342 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:29,623 AND TO DAD. 343 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:30,958 SO MAYBE THE GUY WAS, WHAT, INTO SNAKES. 344 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,835 YOU DON'T KNOW HE WAS MURDERED. 345 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,835 OH, NO? 346 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,713 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? 347 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:36,672 I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH THAT BIRD? 348 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:39,133 DID THE DOCTOR STRIKE YOU AT ALL AS A SMOKER? 349 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,635 HOLY CLUE AND A HALF! 350 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,512 THE MURDERER MUST'VE DROPPED IT. 351 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,305 EXACTLY. 352 00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:45,347 NO, NO, DON'T TOUCH THAT -- OKAY. 353 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,765 HEY, I KNOW THIS PLACE. 'BOUT FIVE MILES FROM HERE. 354 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,477 AND IT AIN'T THE KIND OF JOINT THE DOC WOULD HANG OUT IN. 355 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,061 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 356 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,732 THEN WHAT DO YOU SAY, BOY ADVENTURERS? 357 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,485 [ GRUNTS ] 358 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,867 NO! 359 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,917 GAH! 360 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,212 [ PANTING ] 361 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,839 WHAT THE -- 362 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:19,715 [ GRUNTS ] 363 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,927 YAR! I'M ANASTOS, PRINCE OF ELVES! 364 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,471 [ GRUNTING ] 365 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:29,058 Doc: WELL, DAPHNE, I BELIEVE. SHE GOT AROUND QUITE A BIT. 366 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,851 BUT VELMA? I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A -- 367 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,439 EVERYBODY DID. BUT I GOT A PACK OF HERPES THAT SAY OTHERWISE. 368 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,399 HEY, SPARK ME UP, PYRO-BOY. 369 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,776 SURE THING! 370 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:41,070 YOU GUYS READY TO DO THIS? 371 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,656 ARE YOU, MR. SWEATER? COULD GET ROUGH IN THERE. 372 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:47,034 DON'T WORRY, WE BOY DETECTIVES KNOW HOW TO PLAY HARD. 373 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,245 YEAH! 374 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:53,082 OH, YEAH, WE'RE HAVING US A LITTLE MAN ADVENTURE NOW. 375 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,542 OOH, THERE, THAT GUY IN THE BACK. 376 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,834 I RECOGNIZE HIS FACE FROM THE FILES. 377 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,963 HE'S FROM THE THURSDAY NIGHT HENCHMAN RECOVERY GROUP. 378 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,924 HE IS DEFINITELY NOT WORKING HIS PROGRAM. 379 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,509 I'VE SEEN THAT GUY BEFORE. 380 00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:04,510 HE USED TO BE A HENCH FOR DR. Z. 381 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:07,638 SHOULDA KNOWN HE WAS BEHIND THIS. 382 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,307 HOW'S IT GOING, JOHNNY? 383 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,977 SUP, FRANCIS? YOU'RE IN MY WAY, THERE. 384 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,520 YOU'VE BEEN BANNED, JUNKIE. 385 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,981 NOW TURN AROUND AND TAKE YOUR LITTLE FAGGOT FRIENDS WITH YOU. 386 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,190 OR I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET ROUGH WITH YOU. 387 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,400 HEY, UNDERPANTS! 388 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:23,737 YOU MESS WITH ONE BOY ADVENTURER, YOU MESS WITH ALL OF US. 389 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,323 I THINK THEY WERE HOPING YOU'D SAY THAT. 390 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,076 LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A LITTLE HERPE 391 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:29,827 ON YOUR LIP THERE. 392 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,495 YOU BEEN KISSING YOUR WIFE'S ASS... 393 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,415 AFTER I PUT HERPE IN THERE. 394 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,209 WHAT?! 395 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,209 Doc: OH, NO HE DIDN'T. 396 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,555 Johnny: YEAH, YEAH! 397 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,224 EVEN DIARRHEA DOESN'T TAKE THIS LONG. 398 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,267 WHERE COULD HE BE? 399 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,436 WAIT, I THINK HE CALLED. I HAVE, LIKE, 12 MESSAGES. 400 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:56,437 NOBODY'S EVER LEFT ME A MESSAGE BEFORE. 401 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,856 WHAT DO I DO? HERE. 402 00:14:58,939 --> 00:14:59,648 YEAH, HEY, BOYS. 403 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:03,527 SORRY TO PUNK OUT ON YA LIKE THAT. 404 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,653 BUT, I... 405 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,031 I AM BACKSLIDING BIG TIME. 406 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:09,992 I HAD TO RUN HOME TO GET MY MEDS, SO. 407 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,370 HEY, BOYS, I'M ALL OUTTA MEDS! 408 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,581 AND THE O.S.I. FOLKS, 409 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,958 THEY DON'T SEEM TO BE ANSWERING MY CALLS, 410 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,628 SO, HEH, GETTING A LITTLE ANTSY, 411 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:25,507 AND I'VE LOCKED MYSELF IN THE PANIC ROOM. 412 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,092 OH, HEY. 413 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,636 THOUGHT I CALLED PRINCESS TINYFEET. 414 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,347 BUT WHILE I GOT YA ON THE HORN, 415 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:35,225 I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YA I'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN. 416 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,978 BIG SURPRISE THERE! 417 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,772 HEY, UM, CAN WE GET A RIDE? 418 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:43,817 DUDE, TELL ME YOU DIDN'T WALK OUT BEFORE THE CREDITS WERE OVER! 419 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,070 OKAY, MINOR SETBACK FELLAS. 420 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,988 HE WAS JUST A PUPPET ANYWAY. 421 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:51,200 WE WANT THE MAN PULLING THE STRINGS. 422 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,661 HEY, HOW ARE THOSE BALLS DOING, RUST? 423 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,454 SPIRIT IS UP AND ROVING, 424 00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:56,789 BUT OPPORTUNITY HASN'T COME BACK ONLINE YET. 425 00:15:56,872 --> 00:16:02,419 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE GET READY FOR ACTION. 426 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,255 TRICK OR TREAT, OLD MAN. 427 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,883 WHAT? OKAY. HOLD ON. 428 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,679 I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THE 31st ALREADY. 429 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,306 WE HAVE ONLY SOME OLD SOUR BALLS 430 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,017 AND KRAFT CARAMELS. 431 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,437 CUT THE CRAP, Z! 432 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,606 AW, IF IT ISN'T ACTION JOHNNY. 433 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,024 TO WHAT DO I OWE THIS PLEASURE? 434 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:27,027 COME TO STEAL AN OLD MAN'S MEDICATION AGAIN? 435 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,362 I THINK YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE. 436 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:33,033 HMPH! BIG TOUGH GUY WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOU, AREN'T YOU? 437 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,285 HELLO AGAIN, RUSTY. DR. Z. 438 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,621 WHY'D YOU KILL HIM, Z? TO GET TO ME? 439 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,707 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 440 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,458 I HAVE NOT ARCHED YOU IN YEARS. 441 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,793 WHY WOULD I? YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A PUNK! 442 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,586 YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SEND YOUR FLUNKY 443 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,506 TO MURDER OUR THERAPIST WITH A VIETNAMESE TWO-STEP VIPER? 444 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:50,384 BAH! WHEN DR. Z HARASSES YOU, YOU'LL KNOW IT. 445 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:53,679 A GIANT METAL CRAB WOULD TEAR THE ROOF OFF OF YOUR TRAILER. 446 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,056 NO LESS THAN SIX SUICIDAL ASSASSINS 447 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,891 WOULD SPRING FROM ITS BELLY! 448 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,352 I WOULD NEVER STOOP TO STRIKING AT YOU 449 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,854 THROUGH SOME CIVILIAN PROXY. 450 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:06,400 AND I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT DO IT WITH A MADE-UP SNAKE! 451 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:10,529 Woman: LAZLO, WHO'S AT THE DOOR? 452 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,532 JUST SOME OLD FRIENDS, MY LOVELY. 453 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,951 ARE THEY HUNGRY? 454 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,245 SERGEANT HATRED? 455 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:19,621 COME ON, OPEN UP. 456 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,206 WE WANT TO HELP YOU! 457 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:25,419 NOW, BOYS, I LOCKED MYSELF IN HERE FOR YOUR SAFETY. 458 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,087 I'M GONNA BE OKAY. 459 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,214 I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO NOW. 460 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,258 SO JUST BACK AWAY FROM THE DOOR, 461 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,927 AND GO HIDE SOMEPLACE I CAN'T SEE YOU. 462 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:37,598 UNCLE HATRED'S GONNA CALMLY EXIT THE PANIC ROOM 463 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:39,558 AND HEAD STRAIGHT FOR THE HANGAR. 464 00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,642 WHAT'S IN THE HANGAR? MORE MEDICINE? 465 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,853 WE CAN GET IT FOR YOU. 466 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,856 NO, I'M TAKING THE X-1 AND I'M GOING TO THAILAND! 467 00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:49,276 JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE, 468 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,611 JUST SO I CAN BUY 469 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,905 A BEAUTIFUL BROWN LITTLE BOY-GIRL 470 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,783 TO KEEP IN MY ROOM FOR WHEN THE URGES COME! 471 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,785 YOU CAN'T DO THAT! SURE, I CAN! 472 00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:00,287 GARY GLITTER TOLD ME WHERE TO GET ONE. 473 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,247 AND DEAN? 474 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,333 DEAN, WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO HAVE 475 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,126 A BEAUTIFUL BROWN LITTLE BROTHER/SISTER? 476 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,670 NO! AND BEAUTIFUL BOY-GIRLS AREN'T THE ANSWER! 477 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,799 YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE BAD URGES. 478 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,177 I CAN'T! NOT WITHOUT MY MEDS! 479 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,054 YES, YOU CAN! I KNOW YOU CAN. 480 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:20,808 JUST DO WHATEVER YOU USED TO DO BEFORE THEY GAVE YOU THE MEDICINE. 481 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:21,642 PRINCESS TINYFEET! 482 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,645 SHE'S WHAT I USED TO DO. 483 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,730 SHE WAS THE ONLY THING THAT EVER GOT ME 484 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,358 OVER MY DIRTY LITTLE WEAKNESS. 485 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:33,320 BUT SHE WON'T RETURN MY CALLS! 486 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,656 MMM. 487 00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:36,824 THANKS, MRS. Z. 488 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,326 WOW, THIS ONE REALLY LOVES MY COOKING. 489 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:40,577 I LIKE HIM. 490 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,246 OH, THIRDS? REALLY? THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 491 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,164 YOU DON'T SEE A CONNECTION 492 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,874 BETWEEN THIS... 493 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,625 AND THIS! 494 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,836 I CAN'T HELP IT. IT'S COMPULSIVE. 495 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,838 I WA SEEING SOMEONE ABOUT IT. 496 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,173 [chuckles] ISN'T SHE A TREASURE? 497 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,510 WOULD YOU BELIEVE MRS. Z IS ACTUALLY OLDER THAN I? 498 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:57,678 HEY, JUST LIKE ME AND RUST. 499 00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,596 I'M THE OLDER ONE, BUT HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BE MY DAD. 500 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,016 THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT MORE CHEMICAL PRESERVATIVES IN YOU THAN A TWINKIE. 501 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,810 AND DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT ISN'T A WEAVE. 502 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,855 SO, A SNAKE KILLS YOUR PSYCHIATRIST, 503 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,607 AND YOU FLY ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE 504 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,651 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO BEAT UP AN OLD MAN 505 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,862 BECAUSE OF A MATCHBOOK? 506 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,364 YEAH, SOUNDS KIND OF SLOPPY WHEN YOU SAY IT. 507 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,032 WHEN ARE YOU BOYS GOING TO GROW UP? 508 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,994 DIDN'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE WHEN YOU WERE KIDS? 509 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,538 WE HAD TO DO SOMETHING. IT WAS A MYSTERY. 510 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,790 THERE'S ALWAYS A MYSTERY. 511 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:27,833 IT NEVER ENDS. 512 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,419 NOT UNTIL YOU DECIDE WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 513 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,380 YOU MEAN JUST GIVE IT ALL UP? 514 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:34,173 YES! WHY NOT? 515 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,050 LEAVE IT TO THE NEXT 10-YEAR-OLD BOY 516 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,677 WITH A JETPACK AND A SPYGLASS. 517 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,389 TAKE IT FROM AN OLD MAN -- THERE IS MORE TO LIFE. 518 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:45,392 I AM MUCH HAPPIER NOW THAT I SETTLED DOWN WITH MRS. Z 519 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,395 THAN I EVER WAS CHASING JOHNNY AROUND WITH A LASER. 520 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:51,064 I ONLY REGRET THAT IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO FIGURE IT OUT. 521 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:54,526 WE NEVER HAD CHILDREN OF OUR OWN, YOU SEE. 522 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,695 WE MARRIED LATE. 523 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,906 AND THOUGH MY LOVER'S MOUNTAINS ARE BOTH 524 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,073 BEAUTIFUL AND BOUNTIFUL, 525 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,492 I'M AFRAID THE VALLEY BELOW IS QUITE BARREN. 526 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,077 I THOUGHT WE COULD NOT HAVE KIDS 527 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,913 BECAUSE I WAS YOUR BEARD. 528 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:06,747 [ CHUCKLES ] 529 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:11,335 DR. Z, MRS. Z, WOULD YOU LIKE TO ADOPT ME? 530 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,586 AWW, THAT'S SWEET. 531 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:14,880 DR. Z IS RIGHT. 532 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:15,964 YOU KNOW, I SHOULD THANK YOU GUYS. 533 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,926 YOU ALL MADE ME REALIZE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TONIGHT. 534 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,302 I'M NOT ALONE. 535 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,763 BAND OF BROTHERS, MAN. NO, I MEAN... 536 00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:24,598 WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN THERAPY 537 00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:25,807 IN THE FIRST PLACE? 538 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,767 I'M NO DRUG ADDICT. 539 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,268 I DON'T HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. 540 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,562 AND AS MUCH AS I RESENTED MY FATHER, 541 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,855 I NEVER WANTED TO KILL HIM. 542 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,315 WHOA, THAT WAS NEVER PROVEN. 543 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,775 AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I GREW UP. 544 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,486 I'M NOT A BOY ADVENTURER. 545 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,947 I HAVE MY OWN BUSINESS, AND MY OWN FAMILY. 546 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,281 AND IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 547 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,701 I THINK IT'S HIGH TIME I GOT BACK TO THEM. 548 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:46,161 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 549 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:46,620 [ HATRED CRYING ] 550 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,455 SERGEANT HATRED? 551 00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:51,291 THERE'S SOMEONE HERE WHO WANTS TO TALK TO YOU. 552 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,548 NIBBLET? HONEY! 553 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:02,052 NOW! 554 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,136 [ SCREAMING ] 555 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,805 [ HANK CROWS ] 556 00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:07,015 B TEAM -- HIT HIM! 557 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:07,432 PRINCESS! 558 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,978 WHYYY! 559 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,604 [ GROANS ] 560 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,815 THANKS, DUDE. 561 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:17,484 NO, THANK YOU. I SO OWED HIM ONE. 562 00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:49,224 OUT OF NOWHERE, IT'S LIKE THIS BIG GLOWING VIKING LONGBOAT 563 00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,684 AND IT COMES OUT OF THE CLOUDS. 564 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:54,646 AND EVERYBODY WHO EVER DIED IN ALL THESE FILMS IS ON IT, 565 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,231 AND THEN IT CARRIES HIM -- 566 00:21:56,314 --> 00:21:57,482 OH, HEY. HEY, BOSS! 567 00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,110 JUST YOU IN HERE? THOUGHT I HEARD YOU TALKING. 568 00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:03,238 I WAS POD BLOGGING... CASTING...DIARY. 569 00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:05,032 OH, SO HOW WAS IT? 570 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,408 BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE. 571 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,368 I LIKE THE SECOND ONE A LITTLE BETTER. 572 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,579 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE SAYING ON "AIN'T IT COOL." 573 00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:13,540 YEAH, ALL IN ALL, A FITTING END TO THE TRILOGY, THOUGH. 574 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,375 COOL. 575 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:18,086 OKAY, WELL, UH, GOOD NIGHT THEN. 576 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,171 GOOD NIGHT, BOSS. 577 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,715 OH, DID YOU, UH REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING? 578 00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:23,175 YEAH, YEAH TOTALLY. 579 00:22:23,258 --> 00:22:24,509 OFFICE WAS ON THE WAY TO THE THEATER. 580 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,595 SO WE SLIPPED THE SNAKE RIGHT THROUGH THE AIR VENT. 581 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,388 HE'S GOTTA BE DEAD BY NOW. 582 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,557 THEN VENTURE'S GOT NO MORE EXCUSES! 583 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,684 EXCELLENT! 584 00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:35,312 RELOAD THE SCARIONETTE CANNON! 585 00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:37,314 TOMORROW, WE ARCH ANEW!