1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,255
STEAK-UMS, BUT YOU GOT TO
MICROWAVE THEM.
2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,048
I DON'T WANT YOU USING THE STOVE
WHEN WE'RE GONE.
3
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,258
>> Hank: YOU CAN'T MICROWAVE
STEAK-UMS.
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,592
THEY GET ALL HARD!
5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,262
>> Dean: IF IT'S A CHOICE
BETWEEN THIS AND THE SPEED SUIT,
6
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,430
I CHOOSE THE SPEED SUIT.
7
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,766
>> Dr. Venture: LET ME SEE MY
JUNIOR SCIENTIST!
8
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,770
AHH, I WORE THAT SUIT WHEN I HAD
MY FIRST NEW YORK ASSIGNMENT.
9
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,898
OOH, IF THAT SUIT COULD TALK --
>> Hank: IT WOULD SAY "KILL ME!
10
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,900
I'M A HIDEOUS MONSTER!"
>> Dean: SEE?
11
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,277
>> Dr. Venture: YOUR BROTHER IS
JUST JEALOUS.
12
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,611
>> Hank: OH, YEAH.
13
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,281
I'M JEALOUS THAT I DON'T GET TO
GO TO NEW YORK DRESSED AS THE
14
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,074
JAMAICAN FLAG TO WORK FOR NO
PAY.
15
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,576
>> Dean: IT'S AN INTERNSHIP,
HANK.
16
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:37,203
THEY PAY YOU WITH EXPERIENCE AND
AN IMPRESSIVE RéSUMé!
17
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,248
>> YEAH, I'M GONNA LOAD UP THE,
X-1, DOC.
18
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,624
HEY, SOLDIER, YOU FLYING WITH
US?
19
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,001
>> Dr. Venture: OH, NO!
20
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,086
HE'S STAYING RIGHT HERE, AND
HE'S GETTING A JOB BY THE TIME
21
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,254
WE GET BACK.
22
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:48,256
>> Hank: I TOLD YOU THAT'S
GONNA BE NO PROBLEM.
23
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:51,259
BUT I WARN YOU THAT, UNLIKE
DEAN, I WILL NOT BE WORKING FOR
24
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:54,304
THE MAN, AND I PLAN ON GETTING
PAID.
25
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,432
NOW, I'VE NARROWED DOWN MY LIST.
26
00:00:57,515 --> 00:01:00,226
>> Dr. Venture: WELL, AT LEAST
YOU CROSSED OUT MAFIA DON,
27
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,813
FIRE EATER, TRAVELING RACECAR
SALESMAN, AND MY FAVORITE --
28
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,106
GIGOLO.
29
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,150
>> Hank: ONCE I FOUND OUT IT HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH ITALIAN
30
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,401
ICE CREAM, IT LOST ITS ALLURE.
31
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,527
>> 'SUP, TEAM VENTURE.
32
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:10,737
>> Dr. Venture: GREAT!
33
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,238
DERMOTT'S GONNA HELP YOU GET A
JOB.
34
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:15,158
>> UH, MR. V., I HAVE A
FULL-TIME JOB, AND I TEACH
35
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,494
NINJITSU CLASSES ON THE
WEEKENDS.
36
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,163
>> Hank: TECHNICALLY, HE WEARS
THAT WEIRD, PADDED GIANT BABY
37
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,873
SUIT FOR A RAPE-PREVENTION
CLASS.
38
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,666
>> Dr. Venture: THAT'S A HUGE
CONFIDENCE BUILDER.
39
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,335
>> ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO GET
GOING.
40
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,629
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO FLY AT
NIGHT IN THE X-1.
41
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,507
I GET THE LIGHTS MIXED UP WITH
THE LASERS, AND THEN I END UP
42
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,841
BLOWING STUFF UP.
43
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,345
I-I-I JUST DON'T WANT TO BLOW
STUFF UP 'CAUSE I CAN'T SEE.
44
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,305
>> Dr. Venture: HANK, I GET BACK
IN THREE DAYS.
45
00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:39,349
FOUR IF HATRED GOT
"THE MUSIC MAN" TICKETS.
46
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,893
>> OHH...YEAH, WE GOT TICKETS!
47
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,436
♪ WE GOT TICKETS TO A BROADWAY
SHOW ♪
48
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,940
♪ AND THAT RHYMES WITH "T"...
I'M GONNA GO GET THE X-ONE.
49
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:50,109
>> Dr. Venture: FOUR DAYS, HANK,
AND YOU BETTER BE EMPLOYED.
50
00:01:55,865 --> 00:02:01,329
[ ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> YEAH, UH, WHAT IS A POP-TOP?
51
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,457
>> UH, WE TAKE A TOASTER TART,
WE SHAVE OFF THE TOP, AND THAT'S
52
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,043
SERVED ON A BED OF KIND OF
CRUMBLED TOASTER TART.
53
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,044
>> OKAY.
54
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,213
I'LL HAVE THAT AND A --
>> FRUIT PUNCH.
55
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,131
IT'S ALL WE GOT.
56
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,131
>> ALL RIGHTY.
57
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:12,882
YOU HAVE CHERRY?
58
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:13,758
>> WELL, MAYBE.
59
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,218
>> MAYBE? WHAT IS MAYBE?
60
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,137
>> MAYBE IS WE HAVE RED.
61
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,057
>> Dr. Venture: NOT QUITE WHAT I
HAD IN MIND FOR EMPLOYMENT.
62
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:23,643
>> Hank: I SEE YOU HAVE AN
INTEREST IN OUR FINE COLLECTION
63
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,103
OF REMOTE CONTROLS.
64
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,729
WELL, IF YOU PUT YOUR ADDRESS ON
OUR MAILING LIST, WE'LL BE SURE
65
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,147
TO CONTACT YOU WHEN WE GET MORE
IN.
66
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,732
>> Dr. Venture: HANK, YOU KNOW
MY ADDRESS.
67
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,525
IT'S HERE.
68
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:31,860
I LIVE HERE.
69
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,736
AND I DON'T PLAN ON BUYING BACK
ANY MORE OF MY REMOTES.
70
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,572
BUT I AM COMING BACK FOR MY
SHOES.
71
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,115
>> Hank: I HOPE WE CARRY YOUR
SIZE.
72
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,242
>> Dr. Venture: HANK, YOU CARRY
MY SIZE BECAUSE THOSE ARE ALL
73
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,201
MY SHOES.
74
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,786
[ BELL DINGS ]
>> Hank: I'M SORRY.
75
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,246
I HAVE ANOTHER CUSTOMER.
76
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,664
BANKING NEEDS?
77
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:48,209
>> Dr. Orpheus: UH, NO, I-I JUST
NEED A FEW THINGS NOTARIZED.
78
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,169
>> Hank: THAT'S TWO DEPARTMENTS
DOWN.
79
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,297
DERMOTT, FINISH UP WITH THIS
GENTLEMAN.
80
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:56,759
>> ALL RIGHT, THESE ARE ALL
FINAL-SALE ITEMS.
81
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,304
>> Dr. Orpheus: CHANGING THE
TERMS OF MY CHILD SUPPORT.
82
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:02,307
>> REMEMBER WHEN YOUR WIFE USED
TO SCREW YOU WITHOUT PAPERWORK?
83
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:05,101
>> Dr. Orpheus: THAT'S VERY
APPROPRIATE FOR THE BOY TO HEAR.
84
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,020
>> Hank: YOU HEAR A LOT IN MY
LINE OF WORK.
85
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,606
OKAY, JUST SIGN HERE, INITIAL
HERE, AND HERE.
86
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,274
>> NIKKI, DON'T BE A DOUCHE.
87
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,108
JUST COME PICK ME UP!
88
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:13,318
DUDE, WHAT?!
89
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,777
>> Dr. Venture: DO YOU CARRY
DOUBLE-A BATTERIES?
90
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,529
HANK REMOVED ALL THE BATTERIES
FROM MY REMOTES.
91
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,447
>> I DON'T KNOW.
92
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,656
TRY THE ELECTRONICS DEPARTMENT.
93
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,950
MOM WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK ME UP
TWO HOURS AGO!
94
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,076
YOU GOT TO!
95
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,786
>> Hank: AND I ASSUME YOU'RE THE
THIRD PARTY?
96
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,664
>> COMPARED TO MR. FUN, I'M THE
ENTIRE PARTY.
97
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,666
>> DUDE, MY MOM'S FREAKIN'
AWOL.
98
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,834
I NEED A RIDE HOME.
99
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,920
>> Hank: SO, YOUR MOM'S MISSING?
100
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,547
OKAY, MEET ME AT THAT TABLE OVER
THERE.
101
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,215
ONE MOMENT, GENTLEMEN.
102
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:41,220
>> Dr. Venture: MINE, MINE,
MINE, MINE...
103
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:48,311
>> Hank: TSSSS!
104
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,103
SMOOTH.
105
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,980
[ COUGHS ]
BUY YOU A DRINK?
106
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:54,108
>> ARE YOU SERI--
TOTALLY!
107
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,360
WHAT IS THIS, APPLE JUICE?
108
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,527
>> Hank: ONLY THE BEST.
109
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,779
SO, WHAT'S THE SCORE?
110
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:58,821
BADGER GAME?
111
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,282
BLOW SOME CABBAGE ON A DIRTY
BANG-TAIL?
112
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,201
GET DIZZY ON SOME JASPER'S DAME?
113
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,371
>> DUDE, I CAN'T FIND MY MOM, SO
I NEED A RIDE HOME.
114
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:09,123
>> Hank: MISSING PERSON?
115
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,333
OKAY, I'LL TAKE THE CASE.
116
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,335
NOW LET'S START FROM THE
BEGINNING.
117
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,170
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
118
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:17,006
[ Thinking ] IT STARTED OUT AS
ANOTHER CASE OF "WHERE'S MOMMY?"
119
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,842
THEN IT TURNED TAIL FASTER THAN
A KICKED POOCH.
120
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,887
EITHER I'M BEING PLAYED FOR A
PATSY OR THAT PALOOKA IS
121
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,473
ACTUALLY BROCK'S KID.
122
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:28,810
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
YOU GONNA COME IN, OR ARE YOU
123
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,186
LOOKING FOR STUDS IN THE WALL?
124
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,397
>> IF I THOUGHT THERE WERE STUDS
HERE, I WOULDN'T BE SITTING
125
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,649
OUTSIDE TRYING TO GET A SNACK
FROM CAFé HANK.
126
00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:35,942
>> Hank: CAFé'S CLOSED.
127
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,403
BUT IF YOU JUST WANT TO WAG YOUR
CHIN, GRAB SOME BENCH.
128
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:39,779
>> AHH!
129
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,699
WHEN I MOVED IN WITH ORPHEUS, HE
NEGLECTED TO TELL ME THAT
130
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,576
THERE'S NOTHING AROUND HERE OPEN
PAST 8:30.
131
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:49,330
AHH, THE OLD PRIVATE-DICK GAME
HUH?
132
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,834
I'M MORE PUBLIC AND LESS PRIVATE
ABOUT THE DICK GAME THESE DAYS,
133
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:56,295
BUT BECAUSE I'M BORED OUT OF MY
GOURD, LET'S HEAR THE CASE.
134
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,631
>> Hank: WELL, DERMOTT--
>> THE BIG CREEPY KID YOU HANG
135
00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,382
AROUND WITH?
136
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,341
>> Hank: THE SAME.
137
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,676
WELL, HE CAN'T FIND HIS MOM.
138
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:02,802
>> SOLVED!
139
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,220
SHE PICKED HIM UP FOUR HOURS
AGO.
140
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,096
YOU WERE RIGHT THERE.
141
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,556
>> Hank: YEAH, THAT WAS SOLVED.
142
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,558
BUT WHEN HE WAS GIVING ME THE
FACTS OF THE CASE, HE DROPPED A
143
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,101
BOMBSHELL RIGHT ON MY LAP.
144
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,145
I FOUND OUT SOMETHING I CAN'T
BELIEVE.
145
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,730
I -- I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT.
146
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,773
>> DID HE TELL YOU HE LIKES TO
KILL SMALL ANIMALS?
147
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,525
BECAUSE THAT KID'S WA-EIRD!
148
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:18,526
>> Hank: RIGHT?
149
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,319
I USED TO THINK THAT, TOO, BUT,
NO.
150
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,697
HE COMES OUT AND TELLS ME HE
THINKS HIS DAD IS BROCK.
151
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,032
>> GET OUT!
152
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:24,699
REALLY?
153
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:25,742
>> Hank: SERIOUSLY.
154
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,160
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
155
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,870
>> WELL, YOU HAVE TO SOLVE THIS
CASE!
156
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,413
THAT'S WHAT THE SIGN IS FOR!
157
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,831
THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE THE HAT!
158
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:32,957
THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE THE WHIP!
159
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,375
WAIT. WHY DO YOU HAVE A WHIP?
160
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,626
>> Hank: CAME WITH THE HAT.
161
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:36,669
IT'S A DETECTIVE'S WHIP.
162
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,921
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
IN THE BACK!
163
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,927
>> HEY, HAS ANYONE SEEN DERMOTT?
164
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,263
>> Hank: HE LEFT WITH YOUR MOM
LIKE FOUR HOURS AGO.
165
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,182
>> I DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM THE
HIGHLANDS.
166
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,517
YOU THINK HE COULD'VE CALLED ME
TO TELL ME HE GOT A RIDE.
167
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,643
>> Hank: YOU KNOW DERMOTT.
168
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,520
HE'S NOT ONE FOR POLITENESS, BUT
HE'S A GOOD KID.
169
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,898
IF YOU DON'T GET AN APOLOGY,
I'LL MAKE HIM BUY YOU FLOWERS,
170
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:57,356
DEAL?
171
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,024
>> DEAL.
172
00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:58,983
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
173
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,401
>> Hank: ME AND AL HAVE A JOB.
174
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,612
I'D BEND YOUR EAR ON IT, BUT A
PRETTY DAME LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T
175
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,946
GET INVOLVED WITH THIS KIND OF
THING.
176
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:04,947
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.
177
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,115
>> DANGEROUS?
178
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,200
UH-HUH.
179
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,534
NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING?
180
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,952
>> Hank: SCRAM, DOLL!
181
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,121
I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT A
BODY LIKE YOURS GETTING BUSTED
182
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:12,914
UP OVER THIS.
183
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,457
>> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.
184
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,792
THANKS.
185
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:19,462
UH, HEY, HANK, I JUST WANT TO
THANK YOU FOR KEEPING DERMOTT
186
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,463
OUT OF TROUBLE AND STUFF.
187
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,923
>> Hank: LIKE I SAID, HE'S A
GOOD KID.
188
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:22,840
NOW DRIFT, DOLL.
189
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,425
WE GOT TO GET SOME WORK DONE.
190
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,134
>> OKAY.
191
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:25,968
BYE, HANK.
192
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:26,803
AND, UM...
193
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:27,720
>> AL.
194
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,014
I'M HIS, UH, GAL FRIDAY, I
GUESS.
195
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,557
>> RIGHT, RIGHT...
196
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,894
OH, HANK, UM, I DON'T THINK
DERMOTT'S GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO
197
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,648
ANYONE, SO, UH, WHY DON'T YOU
STOP BY WITH THOSE FLOWERS?
198
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,274
>> HANK, YOU WERE AMAZING!
199
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,901
WHEN DID YOU GET SO SMOOTH?
200
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,111
>> Hank: IT'S THE HAT!
201
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,238
I HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON DERMOTT'S
SISTER FOREVER!
202
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:47,031
I'VE NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO HER
BEFORE!
203
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,534
>> SHE WAS ON YOU LIKE SID ON
NANCY!
204
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,369
ALL RIGHT, HANK, I'M IN.
205
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:55,665
I'LL BE YOUR PARTNER TILL WE
SOLVE THIS CASE OR TILL I GET
206
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:59,669
COMPLETELY BORED DOING IT!
207
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:03,047
>> Hank: ME AND AL HIT THE DIVES
AND FLOPHOUSES TRYING TO DIG UP
208
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,841
SOME INFO ON THIS DAME.
209
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,677
WE HAD THE KIND OF LUCK THAT
TURNS A PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER
210
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,428
INTO AN AMATEUR MURDERER.
211
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,181
YOUR BASIC BOOB AIN'T TOO KEEN
ON DICKS.
212
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,517
WHEN A BUM SEES A DICK COMING,
HE DON'T STICK AROUND FOR THE
213
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,018
CREDITS.
214
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,355
SEEMS THIS OLD BROAD WASN'T SO
POPULAR WITH THE MEN FOLK.
215
00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:23,860
EVERY JOBBIE IN THIS BURG KNEW
THE OLD FRAIL, BUT NOBODY COPPED
216
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,945
TO PITCHING WOO.
217
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,488
>> Brock: GEEZ, CAN YOU BLAME
THEM?
218
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,948
LOOK AT THIS OLD TOWNIE.
219
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:32,994
>> HANK, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT THE
BUMS NOT LIKING DICKS COMING?
220
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:33,578
OW!
221
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,203
WHAT!
222
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:34,996
HE-- HE SAID THAT!
223
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,123
OR WAS IT BOOBS --
OW!
224
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,124
>> Brock: SORRY, HANK.
225
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:38,875
NEVER MET HER BEFORE.
226
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:39,959
SHE SAID I KNOCKED HER UP?
227
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,169
>> Hank: HER KID SAID YOU DID.
228
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,587
>> Brock: WHAT, ARE YOU FRIENDS
WITH BABIES NOW?
229
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:43,963
>> Hank: THE BABY'S GROWN UP.
230
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,423
THIS HAPPENED 17 YEARS AGO.
231
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,717
>> Brock: OH, I THOUGHT NOW THAT
YOU'RE HANGING AROUND WITH GUYS
232
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,719
LIKE THIS --
>> WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
233
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:50,595
>> I -- I'M SORRY.
234
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:51,929
HAVE WE SLEPT TOGETHER BEFORE?
235
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,014
>> UM, NO.
236
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,140
>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO?
237
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,391
>> Hank: AL, QUIT EYEBALLING THE
NANCE.
238
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:56,559
WE'RE ON A CASE.
239
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,561
>> Brock: YEAH, I THINK I'D
REMEMBER THIS ONE.
240
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,314
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT
WHAT THIS MESS LOOKED LIKE BACK
241
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,023
THEN.
242
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:02,899
COULD NOT HAVE BEEN GOOD.
243
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,275
>> Hank: MAYBE ON A LONELY
NIGHT...
244
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,736
>> Brock: I'VE NEVER BEEN THAT
DRUNK, AND I'VE NEVER BEEN THAT
245
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:07,445
DESPERATE.
246
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,197
SORRY, KID.
247
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:19,207
[ HORN HONKS ]
[ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
248
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,375
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]
249
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:07,004
>> RELAX
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
250
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,506
>> I -- I DIDN'T STEAL THOSE
GAMES!
251
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:11,217
THEY WERE DEFECTIVE SO THEY'RE
JUST BEING THROWN OUT!
252
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635
>> I'M NOT MALL SECURITY!
253
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:13,761
>> WHAT -- SO WHO ARE YOU?
254
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,763
[ WHIP CRACKS ]
>> Hank: HE WORKS WITH ME.
255
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,057
HE'S THE ALCHEMIST, SEEKER OF
TRUTH.
256
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,643
>> YOU'RE A SUPERHERO GUY AND
YOU'RE HANGING OUT WITH HANK?
257
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,313
>> LOOK, PUDGY McTALK-A-LOT, I
JUST GOT DUMPED BY MY LOVER WHO
258
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,942
THEN TOSSED ME OUT ON MY JOBLESS
ASS, SO I HAD TO MOVE IN WITH MY
259
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:32,363
BORING TEAM MEMBER WHO LIVES IN
THE 'BURBS AND NEVER DOES SQUAT!
260
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,991
AND I JUST -- I JUST TOLD YOU
TOO MUCH, DIDN'T I!
261
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,660
>> UH, DUDE, NO [BLEEP]
>> Hank: GEEZ, AL, LET THE
262
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:38,828
PALOOKA DOWN.
263
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,663
WE HAVE A COUPLE MORE QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOUR CASE.
264
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,497
>> CASE?
265
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:42,957
I NEEDED A RIDE HOME, DOOFUS.
266
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,168
WHAT IS THIS, "THE CASE OF MY
MOM FORGOT HER CELLPHONE"?
267
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,545
>> Hank: NO, WISENHEIMER!
268
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,672
IT'S THE CASE OF "YOU TELL US
THE TRUTH OR AL WILL MAKE YOUR
269
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,840
DENTIST A RICH MAN"!
270
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,967
>> WHAT ARE YOU --
OH, RIGHT! SORRY.
271
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,012
>> Hank: YOU TELL ME YOUR OLD
MAN IS BROCK SAMSON.
272
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,638
YOU THINK I'M GONNA LET THAT
SLIDE?
273
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,889
HUH?!
274
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,683
I DID SOME CHECKING, AND YOUR
FACTS AIN'T ADDING UP.
275
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,059
SAMSON'S A RINGER.
276
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,519
>> WELL, THAT'S WHAT MY FREAKIN'
MORN TOLD ME, YOU DOUCHE.
277
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:04,270
NOW LET ME GO.
278
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,022
I GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.
279
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,189
>> COME ON, HANK.
280
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,149
HE'S A KID.
281
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,275
DON'T MAKE ME HIT A KID.
282
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,860
>> OH, YEAH, LIKE I'D EVEN FEEL
IT.
283
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,070
YOU'RE LIKE DANNY DeVITO'S
PENGUIN.
284
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:17,116
[ COUGHING ]
HEY, MAN, MY GOD!
285
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,409
TAKE IT DOWN!
286
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:19,285
UGH.
287
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,120
MY MOM GAVE ME THIS, ALL RIGHT?
288
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,330
SHE SAID IT WAS MY DAD'S.
289
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,080
OKAY?
290
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,498
I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.
291
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,459
NOW I GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK
BEFORE I GET FIRED.
292
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,044
[ SNIFFLES ]
I'M NOT CRYING.
293
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,211
>> HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH.
294
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,005
>> Hank: AL, GO GET THE BOILER.
295
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,131
>> NO CLUE.
296
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:32,757
CAR?
297
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,716
IS THAT THE CAR?
298
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,009
>> Hank: YEAH, THE CAR.
299
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:38,095
>> [ WHEEZING ]
>> Hank: I AM WAY SORRY FOR
300
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,889
MAKING A GROWN-UP PUNCH YOU,
MAN.
301
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:40,389
>> WHAT?
302
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,891
THAT'S COOL.
303
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,060
YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY STOLE THOSE
VIDEO GAMES, SO I HAD IT COMING.
304
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:50,399
>> HEY, BOSS.
305
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,609
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
306
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,944
>> Hank: I SEE YOU MADE SOME
CHANGES TO MY JOINT.
307
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,947
>> I GOT TO TELL YOU, IT'S
ALWAYS BEEN MY SECRET DREAM TO
308
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,199
RUN A HASH HOUSE.
309
00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,076
I AM JUST LOVING THIS!
310
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,536
OH, AND I MADE SOME ADJUSTMENTS
TO THE MENU.
311
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,748
SO, BASICALLY, WE, UH, JUST
SERVE EGGS NOW.
312
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,083
MOSTLY SCRAMBLED.
313
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,376
AND ALL WITH KETCHUP.
314
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,794
SO, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
315
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:10,920
>> Hank: CUP OF JAVA?
316
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:11,587
>> TWO.
317
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:12,588
>> GOTCHA.
318
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,799
TWO COFFEES COMING UP!
319
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:15,758
>> Quizboy: Psst!
320
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,009
HANK.
321
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:17,760
Psst! HANK.
322
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:18,803
HANK.
323
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,138
HEARD YOU'RE WORKING THE FICTEL
CASE.
324
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,056
>> Hank: YEAH, DERMOTT FICTEL.
325
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,265
HE MISSES HIS OLD MAN.
326
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,393
FINGERED SAMSON, BUT IT'S
STARTING TO GET ROTTEN.
327
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,894
>> Quizboy: SO YOU'VE MET NIKKI?
328
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:27,520
NIKKI FICTEL?
329
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:28,604
>> Hank: AND HOW.
330
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,147
>> Quizboy: YEAH, SHE'S A
LOOKER, THAT ONE.
331
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,649
GAMS STRAIGHT UP TO HEAVEN.
332
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,651
>> GREAT, NOW YOU'RE DOING THE
VOICE, TOO, HUH?
333
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,528
>> Quizboy: DON'T RUIN THIS FOR
ME, AL!
334
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,571
I'VE BEEN EATING EGGS AND
KETCHUP ALL DAY WAITING TO DO
335
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,239
THIS!
336
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:39,490
>> ALL RIGHT, SORRY!
337
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,367
I MEAN, WHO AM I TO TALK, RIGHT?
338
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:45,121
>> Hank: SO, WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE
ON THE FICTEL DOLL?
339
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,664
>> Quizboy: NIKKI MOVES
ANTIQUES.
340
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,541
I'VE DONE SOME HEFTY EXCHANGES
WITH HER.
341
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,543
SHE'S A PRETTY BIG DEAL IN THAT
RACKET.
342
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,962
SHE HAS SOME, LET'S SAY,
DESIRABLE MERCHANDISE.
343
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:53,963
>> Hank: SHE RUNNING A GRIFT?
344
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,631
>> Quizboy: IT'S ON THE
UP-AND-UP.
345
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:58,342
BUT IN MY CIRCLE, WHEN YOU CAN'T
FIND SOMETHING, AND YOU GOT A
346
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,302
FISTFUL OF HOT CABBAGE, YOU DIAL
NIKKI FICTEL.
347
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,637
YOU GET MY MEAN?
348
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,432
>> NO. I CAN BARELY UNDERSTAND
HANK, AND YOU DO IT WITH A
349
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:05,182
SPEECH IMPEDIMENT.
350
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,308
>> Quizboy: LISTEN TO ME!
351
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,227
I'M RISKING MY LIFE JUST TALKING
TO YOU.
352
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,813
I'M JUST SAYING THAT DOLL KNOWS
SOMETHING.
353
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,028
>> BILLY!
354
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,697
WANT YOUR LEFTOVERS BOXED?
355
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:20,990
>> Quizboy: OH, COME ON!
356
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,366
I WAS WEARING A HAT!
357
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,493
>> Hank: [ Thinking ] SAMSON
DENIES HE GOT SLOPPY WITH THE
358
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,828
OLD DAME.
359
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,122
DERMOTT INSISTS THAT HE DID,
THEN COUGHS UP AN OLD KEY TO MY
360
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,248
FRONT DOOR.
361
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,666
BILLY TELLS ME TO LOOK AT NIKKI.
362
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,376
LIKE HE NEEDS TO TELL ME TO
LOOK AT NIKKI.
363
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,336
[ SNIFFS ]
THAT GORGEOUS TWIST HAS MY
364
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,381
NOODLE SO FULL OF PERFUME, I CAN
HARDLY TELL I HAVEN'T WASHED
365
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,384
THIS SHIRT SINCE I TOOK THIS
MISERABLE CASE.
366
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,679
IT'S TIME I MADE A HOUSE CALL.
367
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:46,724
>> Dr. Orpheus: [ HUMMING ]
>> LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
368
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:47,892
>> Dr. Orpheus: SURE.
369
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,435
>> IT'S THE, UH...
370
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,394
"BEWITCHED" QUESTION.
371
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,770
>> Dr. Orpheus: OH, YES.
372
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,023
WHY DIDN'T DARRIN LET SAMANTHA
JUST MAKE THEM MAGICALLY RICH SO
373
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,983
HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE A
WORKADAY WHIPPING BOY?
374
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:56,859
>> YEAH.
375
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,152
WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THAT ONE?
376
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,529
>> Dr. Orpheus: I CAN'T MAKE YOU
RICH, AL.
377
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,864
>> I DON'T WANT THAT.
378
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,365
IT'S JUST THAT...
379
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,868
YOU KNOW HOW I CAN TELL IF
PEOPLE ARE TELLING THE TRUTH.
380
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,119
IT'S ONE OF MY GIFTS.
381
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,205
HANK HAS THIS CASE --
>> Dr. Orpheus: I'VE NOTICED
382
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:12,208
YOU'VE BEEN, UH...PALLING AROUND
WITH THE YOUNG LAD.
383
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,251
>> THAT KID KNOWS HOW TO HAVE
FUN, ORPHEUS.
384
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,878
YOU COULD LEARN SOMETHING FROM
HIM.
385
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,298
ANYWAYS, IN THIS CASE WE GOT
GOING, EVERYONE IS TELLING THE
386
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,383
TRUTH AND NONE OF IT ADDS UP.
387
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,801
I -- I KIND OF WANT TO HELP HIM.
388
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,095
>> Dr. Orpheus: WELL, WE HAVE
THESE POWERS.
389
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:28,057
THEY ARE A PART OF US, AND WE
SHOULD NEVER BE ASHAMED OR
390
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,391
AFRAID TO USE THEM FOR GOOD.
391
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,643
>> SO YOU'D, UH...
392
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,561
>> Dr. Orpheus: I WOULD MAKE
DARRIN FILTHY RICH, TURN
393
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:36,106
MR. TATE INTO A DONKEY, TELL
ENDORA TO GET A LIFE, AND BLIND
394
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,566
THAT NOSEY MRS. KRAVITZ!
395
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,484
>> EXCELLENT!
396
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,694
OKAY, I NEED YOUR HELP.
397
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:58,963
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
>> Hank: THESE ARE FROM DERMOTT.
398
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,757
HE'S WORKING THE OVERNIGHT AT
THE BIG BARGAINS AND WANTED TO
399
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:02,758
APOLOGIZE.
400
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,260
>> YOU'RE SO SWEET.
401
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,053
YOU WANT TO COME IN?
402
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:09,223
>> Hank: HEY, THAT'S MY DAD'S
OLD CARTOON CRAP.
403
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,432
WHAT GIVES?
404
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,269
>> I WAS A HUGE FAN WHEN I WAS A
KID.
405
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,103
>> Hank: NOT THE HAT.
406
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:14,937
>> SORRY.
407
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,146
IS THAT YOUR GOOD-LUCK HAT?
408
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,439
>> Hank: DON'T KNOW YET.
409
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,899
I'LL TELL YOU IN THE MORNING.
410
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,151
>> [ GIGGLES ] YOU'RE PROBABLY
SICK OF ALL THIS KIND OF STUFF.
411
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,779
>> Hank: I'LL TELL YOU, DOLL,
OLD THADDEUS VENTURE DIDN'T HAVE
412
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,739
THE SAVVY TO SAVE ANY OF THEM
DOOHICKEYS.
413
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,615
>> WELL, THAT'S IRONIC.
414
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,491
>> Hank: THAT'S RUSTY.
415
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,451
>> YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH OF HIM.
416
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,411
>> Hank: YOU DAFFY?
417
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:31,745
DEAN'S JUST LIKE MY OLD MAN.
418
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,789
I'M THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE
VENTURE FLOCK.
419
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:34,957
I'M TROUBLE.
420
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,294
>> NO, I MEAN YOU'RE LIKE RUSTY
FROM THE CARTOON.
421
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,505
YOUR DAD'S A SCARED LITTLE
HAS-BEEN, BUT YOU ARE JUST LIKE
422
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,299
THE R RUSTY VENTURE.
423
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,675
SO COOL.
424
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,845
SO FEARLESS AND -- AND POWERFUL
BUT TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A
425
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,054
YOUNG MAN.
426
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,015
>> Hank: SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE
TRYING TO SEDUCE ME.
427
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,642
AND THIS OLD SHAMUS CAN SMELL IT
WHEN A CHIPPY'S PULLIN' A
428
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,310
FLIMFLAM.
429
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:54,852
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?
430
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:56,186
>> NOTHING.
431
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:59,857
WELL, I -- [ CHUCKLES ]
I GUESS I'M HIDING A HUGE CRUSH
432
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,150
ON YOU.
433
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,818
>> Hank: I DON'T GET INVOLVED
WITH MY CLIENTS. AHEM.
434
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:07,281
>> I THOUGHT YOU JUST CAME HERE
TO BRING ME FLOWERS.
435
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:09,575
>> Hank: HAT! HAT!
436
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,493
>> Dr. Orpheus: SING YOUR SONG!
437
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,455
REVEAL TO US YOUR MYSTERIES!
438
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,790
IN THE NAME OF BACHLIEL!
439
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,584
>> WHO GUARDS THE SOUTH WIND!
440
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,753
>> Dr. Orpheus: IN THE NAME OF
MITHRA!
441
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,755
>> WHO WATCHES OVER LOVE!
442
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,215
>> Dr. Orpheus: TELL US YOUR
STORY!
443
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,342
>> MORNING GLORY!
444
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,384
>> Dr. Orpheus: OH!
445
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,927
>> OH, RELAX, ORPHEUS.
446
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,012
IT WAS FUNNY.
447
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,263
IT'LL STILL WORK.
448
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,681
GEEZ.
449
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,975
>> NIKKI, YOU CAN'T RAISE A
CHILD!
450
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,268
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
451
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,436
WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?!
452
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,395
>> MOM, PLEASE!
453
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,480
I WANT TO KEEP IT!
454
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,023
>> YOU'RE STILL IN SCHOOL!
455
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,608
YOU'RE STILL A CHILD YOURSELF!
456
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:43,942
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!
457
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,027
SHE'S 15!
458
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,654
>> Dr. Venture: DID YOU EXPECT
ME TO CARD HER?
459
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:47,404
SHE SAID SHE WAS 20!
460
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,447
LOOK, SHE CAME ON TO ME.
461
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,490
THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND.
462
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:50,449
I'M NOT PROUD OF THIS.
463
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,825
>> OH, YOU'RE NOT PROUD?
464
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,827
YOU [BLEEP] THE PRESIDENT OF
YOUR FAN CLUB!
465
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,663
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A REAL
CHALLENGE!
466
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,456
A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO WORSHIPED
YOU!
467
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,333
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD, YOU [BLEEP]
ASSHOLE!
468
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,043
>> Dr. Venture: LOOK, I'LL PAY
YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT.
469
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,044
>> OH, YOU'LL PAY!
470
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,712
OH, HELL, YES, YOU'LL PAY!
471
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,632
YOU LIVE IN THAT HUGE MANSION
WITH YOUR FANCY JET PLANES!
472
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:07,966
OH, YOU'LL PAY!
473
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,551
AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS GIRL
OR HER BABY EVER AGAIN!
474
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,969
>> MOM! PLEASE!
475
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,930
>> Dr. Venture: WELL, I THINK
THAT'S A DECISION NIKKI AND I
476
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,223
NEED TO MAKE.
477
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,557
NIKKI, TAKE THIS, AND YOU WE'LL
WORK THIS OUT TOGETHER.
478
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,266
>> WRONG!
479
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,518
SHE IS 15!
480
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:18,936
THAT'S STATUTORY RAPE.
481
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,563
YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE COPS AND
HAVE THIS SETTLED PUBLICLY, OR
482
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,233
DO YOU WANT TO CRAWL BACK TO
YOUR MANSION, WRITE US A CHECK,
483
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,360
AND FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS?
484
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,070
>> Dr. Venture: NICKELS...
485
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,698
I'M SO SORRY.
486
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,740
>> NO!
487
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,950
DON'T GO!
488
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,576
>> SWEETIE...
489
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,204
SWEETIE, HE IS NOT WORTH IT.
490
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,956
WE'LL HAVE THE BABY IF YOU WANT.
491
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,582
I'LL RAISE IT AS MINE.
492
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,167
WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT WORK.
493
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,460
I PROMISE YOU.
494
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:44,128
ALL RIGHT?
495
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,255
WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
496
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,632
WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
497
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,758
>> Dr. Orpheus: DYAH!
498
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,884
>> WOW!
499
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,971
JUST...WOW!
500
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,432
>> Dr. Orpheus: I SEE WHY
SAMANTHA STAYED OUT OF DARRIN'S
501
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,307
BUSINESS NOW.
502
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,268
>> I SO DID NOT NEED TO SEE
THAT.
503
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,481
I'M OFF THE CASE.
504
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,567
>> Hank: YOU AND ME BOTH,
PARTNER.
505
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,778
YEAH, I SLIPPED OVER TO THAT
DAME'S JOINT TO QUESTION HER...
506
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,988
AND THINGS GOT HOT.
507
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,156
>> WHAT DID SHE SAY?
508
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:12,948
>> Hank: SAY?
509
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,283
NOTHING.
510
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,368
BUT SHE DID THINGS TO ME THAT I
DIDN'T THINK WERE POSSIBLE.
511
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,620
THAT LOOKER RAN ME THROUGH THE
YARD AND LAMMED OFF WITH MY
512
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,080
TICKER.
513
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,625
>> HANK, TAKE OFF YOUR DETECTIVE
HAT AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!
514
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,378
>> Hank: I HAD SEX!
515
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,796
I HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN!
516
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,340
AND -- AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE
THE SAME.
517
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,717
BECAUSE OF SEX.
518
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,260
>> YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF
IT.
519
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,928
>> Hank: AND I HAVE YOU TO
THANK.
520
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,432
AND DERMOTT'S SUPER-HOT SISTER,
AND THIS OLD KEY AND --
521
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:39,099
>> HANK?
522
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:39,933
>> HANK?!
523
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,227
WE NEVER DISCHARGED THE SPELL!
524
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,730
>> HANK!
525
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:45,856
>> Hank: OKAY.
526
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:46,815
THAT'S...
527
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:47,858
I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
528
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,486
>> I AM SO SORRY YOU JUST SAW
THAT!
529
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,154
>> Hank: I'M GONNA VOMIT.
530
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,530
AL, AL, I'M GONNA VOMIT.
531
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,990
>> HERE, USE YOUR HAT.
532
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:58,535
I'M PRETTY SURE IT STARTED ALL
THIS.
533
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,662
>> Hank: ARE YOU SURE THIS IS
THE ONLY ANSWER?
534
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,248
I MEAN, CAN'T YOU TAKE AWAY
EVERYTHING BUT THE PART WHERE
535
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,208
I HAD SEX?
536
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,375
>> AH, IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE
THAT.
537
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,419
IT JUST SHAVES AWAY YOUR LAST
MEMORY PATTERNS.
538
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,297
YOU CAN'T SELECT WHAT YOU WANT
TO SAVE, JUST HOW FAR BACK YOU
539
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,256
WANT TO FORGET.
540
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,508
SORRY, TIGER.
541
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,052
>> Hank: MAYBE I CAN LIVE WITH
SLEEPING WITH MY DAD'S OLD
542
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,013
GIRLFRIEND AND THAT DERMOTT IS
MY HALF-BROTHER, AND --
543
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:18,972
>> NO, NO, NO!
544
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,307
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH!
545
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,309
I SWEAR, IF I HEAR ANY MORE,
I'LL WANT TO GET IN THE DAMN
546
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,060
THING.
547
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:23,936
>> Brock: HANK, IT'S COOL.
548
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,270
YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE, LIKE...
549
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:25,813
A LOT.
550
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:26,814
>> Hank: REALLY?
551
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:27,689
I DON'T REMEMBER.
552
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:28,524
>> Brock: BINGO.
553
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,900
YOU'LL BE FINE.
554
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:33,320
SOMETIMES THERE ARE THINGS WE
JUST WERE NEVER MEANT TO KNOW.
555
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,197
>> OKAY ALREADY!
556
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:35,989
I GET IT.
557
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,699
I'VE APOLOGIZED ENOUGH.
558
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,369
AND I'M GETTING IN NEXT BECAUSE
I'VE SEEN THIS WHOLE SPHINX
559
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,703
DEAL.
560
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,872
>> UH, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME
YOU'VE SEEN THIS MACHINE,
561
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,706
BIG BOY.
562
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,417
>> [ GASPS ]
YOU AND I?
563
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,961
AND YOU LET ME ERASE THAT?!
564
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,254
>> YOU GOT A LITTLE POSSESSIVE.
565
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:53,048
I MEAN, YOU DUMPED YOUR
BOYFRIEND AND TRIED TO MOVE IN
566
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:53,674
WITH ME.
567
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,259
>> I DUMPED HIM?
568
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,385
I THOUGHT HE DUMPED ME.
569
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,387
>> AND YOU WILL AGAIN AFTER
HANK'S DONE.
570
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,888
>> Brock: HANK, YOU READY?
571
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,890
>> Hank: WAIT, JUST -- JUST ONE
MORE THING.
572
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,100
>> Brock: WHAT?
573
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,811
>> Hank: I GOT LAID!
574
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,021
>> Brock: YOU SURE DID, HANK.
575
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,148
YOU SURE DID.
576
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,512
>> Hank: GUESS WHAT.
577
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:41,930
I HAD SEX!
578
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,682
TA-DA!
579
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:44,975
WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
580
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:48,687
OKAY, IT'S KIND OF LIKE NAKED
SKYDIVING INTO A MOUNTAIN OF
581
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,272
WARM WHIPPED CREAM.
582
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,732
YES, THAT GOOD!
583
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:52,524
I KNOW!
584
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,942
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.
585
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,068
BUT YOU HAVE TO!
586
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,695
BECAUSE I'M YESTERDAY YOU!
587
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,281
THAT'S HOW I KNEW YOU'D WATCH
THIS MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY IF IT
588
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,657
WAS LABELED "DEAN FACE PLANT."
589
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:01,491
>> Hank: THAT WAS A GOOD MOVE.
590
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:02,492
>> Hank: THANK YOU.
591
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,244
BUT, DUDE, I GOT TO MAKE THIS
QUICK.
592
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,079
I'M ABOUT TO GET MY MEMORY
WIPED.
593
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,289
>> Hank: AW, GYP!
594
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,249
>> Hank: I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT,
BUT TRUST ME...
595
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,377
I MEAN, YOU ARE ME, SO YOU TRUST
ME, BUT BELIEVE ME -- YOU
596
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:15,547
LEARNED A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER
THINGS YOU DON'T REALLY WANT.
597
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,467
BUT THE PART WHERE WE LOST OUR
VIRGINITY I NEEDED TO REMEMBER.
598
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,801
>> Hank: THAT IS SO COOL.
599
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,137
>> Hank: YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
600
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,140
I MEAN, YOU DID HAVE AN IDEA,
BUT NOW YOU DON'T.
601
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:25,974
WHAT?
602
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,351
YEAH, I'M READY!
603
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,143
OH, YEAH.
604
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:30,354
AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
605
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,772
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS.
606
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:34,066
>> Hank: [ GASPS ]
>> Hank: NAH! I'M JUST JOSHIN'
607
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,192
WITH ME.
608
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,153
COMING!
609
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,488
>> Hank: HEY.
610
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,240
HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER?
611
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,867
>> Dean: WELL, I THINK I MAY
HAVE WATCHED MY CAREER IN
612
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,827
SUPER-SCIENCE GO UP IN SMOKE.
613
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,331
BUT I MAY HAVE MANAGED TO PULL
MY DREAMS FROM THE ASHES.
614
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,499
HOW WAS YOURS?
615
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:54,169
>> Hank: WELL, FROM WHAT I HEAR,
IT WAS AMAZING.
616
00:20:54,252 --> 00:20:55,337
>> Dean: HAVE YOU SEEN POP?
617
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,464
HE LEFT NEW YORK WITHOUT EVEN
SAYING GOODBYE.
618
00:20:57,547 --> 00:21:05,055
[ ENERGY WHOOSHING ]
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]