1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:06,423
[ WIND WHISTLES ]
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,759
Dean: [ GROANS ]
3
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HUH?
4
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GOOD MORNING.
5
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LAST NIGHT I DRUGGED YOU BOYS
AND HAD H.E.L.P.eR. TAKE YOU TO
6
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:16,307
YOUR NEW HOMES.
7
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,018
AS YOUR BODYGUARD, I MUST
PREPARE YOU FOR THE WORST.
8
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YOUR FATHER IS MOST LIKELY
DEAD.
9
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,649
HE WAS CRUSHED TO DEATH BY A
DISCO BALL, AND HIS LIFELESS
10
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,860
HUSK WAS TAKEN BY THE MONARCH.
11
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,696
YOUR GODFATHERS HAVE THE REST
OF THE INFO.
12
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GET IN, SON.
13
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WELCOME TO TANGIER.
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THEY WILL RAISE YOU AS THEIR
OWN SONS FROM HERE ON OUT.
15
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AFTER I WRITE THESE NOTES, I
PLAN ON SHOOTING MYSELF, THEN
16
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,458
BURNING THE VENTURE ESTATE
DOWN.
17
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NOT REALLY, BUT, AGAIN, THAT
WOULD BE THE WORST, AND I WANT
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TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE WORST,
'CAUSE I LOVE YOU BOTH.
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UNCLE VATRED.
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OH, GOOD.
21
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YOU'RE UP. HERE.
22
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PUT THIS ON AND MEET ME OUT
BACK.
23
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OH, AND, UH, WELCOME TO
BOCA RATON.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
SON.
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POOR LITTLE GUY.
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Hank: IS THAT YOUR...PET?
27
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BLACKIE DIED 15 YEARS AGO.
28
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THAT'S ENTMANN -- FIRST OF
TEAM VENTURE TO GO.
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Hank: GOSH, I'M AWFUL SORRY.
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"YOU ARE MY PAL, AND YOU ARE
MY FRIEND.
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AND YOUR WEIRD BODY, TO HEAVEN,
I SEND.
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WHEN YOU WERE MASSIVE AND FULL
OF SIZE, YOU GAVE ME COUNCIL,
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BECAUSE YOU WERE WISE.
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SAYING, 'ACTION MAN, TAKE IT
DOWN A NOTCH.
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STOP JUST THINKING WITH YOUR
ACTION CROTCH.'
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AND WHEN YOU WERE SHRUNK DOWN TO
A LITTLE MOLE, YOU WERE ABLE TO
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SWIM LAPS IN A LITTLE BOWL.
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NOW YOU ARE DEAD 'CAUSE OF MY
CHAIR.
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I HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU WERE
THERE.
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WHEN I ROCKED BACK IN REPOSE,
YOU DIED AND BEGAN TO
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DECOMPOSE."
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[ SNIFFLES ]
[ ZIP ]
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Hank: DUDE!
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
45
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VENTURE TRADITION, SON.
46
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[ ZIP ]
Hank: OH. UH, SHOULD I --
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NOPE.
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YOU'RE THE YOUNGEST HERE.
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YOU GOT TO FERTILIZE THE GROUND
TO REPRESENT NEW LIFE.
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DROP 'EM AND SQUAT.
51
00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:00,912
NOW, NOW, SON.
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THAT'S NOT A NAPKIN, THAT'S
BREAD.
53
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YOU SCOOP UP YOUR COUSCOUS WITH
IT.
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Dean: SORRY.
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I'M USED TO BREAD-SHAPED BREAD.
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DON'T DRINK THAT.
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DYSENTERY.
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YOU'LL BE CRAPPING YOUR BRAINS
OUT ALL OVER MY ANTIQUES.
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YOU'LL LEARN THE CUSTOMS HERE IN
NO TIME.
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Dean: I HOPE I DON'T HAVE TO.
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I REALLY THINK MY DAD'S OKAY,
MR. GENTLEMAN.
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"MR. GENTLEMAN"?
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YOU CALL ME POP-POP.
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REBUILDING TEAM VENTURE, OLD
MAN?
65
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OR JUST FOUND YOURSELF A NEW
PLAYTHING?
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HEY, YOU REMEMBER ME, DO YOU,
LADDIE?
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SO, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SHOW ME A
LITTLE MORE RESPECT.
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RESPECT?
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YOU CLOWNS WERE A JOKE EVEN
BEFORE THE ACTION MAN WENT TO
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REHAB.
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SORRY.
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THE OLD EARS DON'T HEAR SO GOOD
ANYMORE.
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WHAT WAS THAT?
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YOU HEARD ME.
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DEAN, BE A GOOD BOY AND GO
PICK A SONG ON THE JUKEBOX.
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THIS MAN WANTS TO DANCE WITH
YOUR POP-POP.
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Dean: OKAY.
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HE'S A LITTLE YOUNG...EVEN
FOR YOU.
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ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HAVE
A FIGHT?
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'CAUSE I'M ONLY GO USE A THUMB.
81
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UH...THE LEFT ONE.
82
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THE RIGHT ONE'S TOO POWERFUL FOR
YOU.
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I'D LOVE TO SEE THAT.
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[ YELLS ]
[ BREATHING SHAKILY ]
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I DIDN'T SPECIFY MY THUMB.
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[ RUSTLING ]
#21: I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
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YOU MOVE, AND I SHOOT.
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OH, NO, GARY.
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PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME WITH YOUR
STICK.
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00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,906
#21: EH, IT'S ALL I --
YEAH, BLAH, BLAH.
91
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:18,781
LOOK, I NEED YOUR HELP.
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00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:19,824
#21: HOW'D YOU FIND ME?
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IDIOT, YOU'RE CAMPING ON OUR
PROPERTY.
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HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM?
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#21: UH, VERY?
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00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,748
YEAH, I'D LOVE TO KEEP
PLAYING THIS GAME WITH YOU, BUT
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00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,124
WE GOT PROBLEMS.
98
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THE MONARCH HAS DOC.
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#21: HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
100
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DOC CRASHED A PARTY AT
DON HELL'S.
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#21: WHOA!
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NOT SMART.
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VILLAIN NIGHTCLUB.
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BAD PEOPLE IN THERE.
105
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SO, ARE YOU IN?
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I KNOW IT'S TOUCHY FOR YOU, AND
YOU'LL PROBABLY BABY OUT ON ME,
107
00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:43,556
BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU'RE A
GOOD MAN...UNDER ALL THAT PUDGE.
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#21: YEAH, I'M PUDGY.
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AND YOU'RE WEARING A BULLETPROOF
VEST YOU MADE FROM AN OLD COUCH,
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I ASSUME.
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YEAH, I'M IN.
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LET'S BRING HIM HOME.
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[ MIMICS GUN COCK ]
DID YOU JUST COCK YOUR STICK?
114
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:54,943
#21: YEAH. WHATEVER.
115
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SO, I JUST -- SO, WHAT?
116
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Monarch: SO, YOU READY?
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I AM GONNA WET MYSELF.
118
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CALM DOWN!
119
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I'M ALMOST DONE.
120
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Monarch: HEY, WHAT ABOUT
PUTTING HIM IN THE ONE WITH A
121
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HUNGRY RAT IN A CAGE THAT HE
WEARS AS A MASK?
122
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IT'LL EAT HIS NOSE.
123
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I TOLD YOU, RATS, PIRANHAS,
SHARKS, AND BADGERS ARE TOO MUCH
124
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HASSLE.
125
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NO ANIMALS.
126
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Monarch: OKAY!
127
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HEY, WHAT ABOUT JUST STRAIGHT-UP
FLAYING, HUH?
128
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BUT AS A SINISTER TWIST -- ICE
KNIFE?
129
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,926
OH, PUT THAT ONE DOWN.
130
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,511
JUST WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH.
131
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Monarch: I CAN'T WAIT.
132
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I'M SO EXCITED!
133
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ALL RIGHT.
134
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ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
135
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CALM DOWN, NOW.
136
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,601
WORK ON THE OLD LIST.
137
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,603
NIFTY, NIFTY LITTLE LISTY.
138
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,939
NUMBER 15 -- ICE KNIFE.
139
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:35,566
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY, I'M CALM NOW.
140
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,526
EVERYTHING'S COOL.
141
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:37,694
GOOD.
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00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,781
Monarch: BROKEN GLASS IN
EARS, QUESTION MARK.
143
00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:42,740
I JUST PEED MYSELF A LITTLE.
144
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,117
SWEETIE, PLEASE, RELAX.
145
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,827
Dr. Venture: I REALLY
APPRECIATE THIS.
146
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,538
I'M ONLY DOING IT 'CAUSE IT'S
AGAINST GUILD REGULATIONS TO
147
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,498
TORTURE SOMEBODY WITH AN
UNATTENDED INJURY.
148
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,166
Dr. Venture: YEAH, NOT BUYING
IT.
149
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,127
I KNOW YOU'RE THE SOFTIE HERE.
150
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,753
NOT MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO.
151
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:56,713
RODEO'S OVER, BALDY.
152
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,214
YOU'RE HOG-TIED.
153
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,591
I'M JUST WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND
TO PICK OUT A BARBECUE SAUCE TO
154
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SPREAD ON YOU.
155
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:02,093
Dr. Venture: OW!
156
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,220
YEAH, DISLOCATED. FIGURED.
157
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,764
Dr. Venture: [ SIGHS ]
I KNOW YOU CLOWNS AREN'T GONNA
158
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,348
DO ANYTHING.
159
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,808
YOU NEVER DO.
160
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,394
YEAH, HE MAY NOT BE VERY GOOD
AT IT, BUT HE LOVES IT, AND I
161
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,062
LOVE HIM, SO YOU BETTER PLAY
ALONG.
162
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,565
Dr. Venture: HOW ABOUT YOU
POP MY HIP BACK IN PLACE, AND I
163
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,066
SEND YOU A LITTLE TAX-FREE
DONATION?
164
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,861
YOU ARE GONNA CRY IN AGONY IF
MY HUSBAND TICKLES YOU.
165
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:22,905
YOU WILL PLEA FOR YOUR LIFE IF
HE GIVES YOU A BACK RUB.
166
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,534
YOU WILL TRY TO ESCAPE JUST SO
HE CAN CATCH YOU.
167
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,077
Dr. Venture: WHY...WOULD I DO
THAT?
168
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,581
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I WILL
STRAIGHT-UP JUST SLIT YOUR
169
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,957
THROAT.
170
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,126
Dr. Venture: [ CHUCKLES ]
NO, NO. YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT.
171
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,629
DON'T UNDERESTIMATE A WOMAN
IN LOVE, DR. VENTURE.
172
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,506
SO, YOU ALLERGIC TO EPINEPHRINE?
173
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,717
Dr. Venture: NO, I'M NOT
ALLERGIC TO ANY ANESTHETICS.
174
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,554
AND I'M NOT ALLERGIC TO HAND
LOTION, IF YOU, UH, WANT TO GIVE
175
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,264
ME A HAPPY ENDING.
176
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,432
NAH.
177
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,100
[ CRACK ]
Dr. Venture: [ SCREAMS ]
178
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,643
Monarch: DON'T START WITHOUT
ME!
179
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,603
ALL RIGHT.
180
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,605
NOW, JUST LIKE WE REHEARSED,
OKAY?
181
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,814
THAT'S HER.
182
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,609
THAT DELICIOUS PIECE OF RANDY
CANDY OVER THERE.
183
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,611
Hank: CHECK.
184
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,987
HELLO, ROSE.
185
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:06,115
UH, MIND IF I --
YES, I WAS JUST LEAVING
186
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:06,824
ANYWAY.
187
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,494
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
188
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:10,119
OH, DEAR.
189
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,788
WHAT IS THE MATTER?
190
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,748
OH, IT'S BEEN A HECK OF A
YEAR, ROSE.
191
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:17,835
I-I LOST MY WIFE, MY BEST
FRIEND, AND NOW MY -- MY SON IS
192
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,712
HOOKED ON ROCK 'N' ROLL.
193
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,797
ROCK 'N' ROLL?!
194
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,632
RODNEY, THAT'S THE DEVIL'S
MUSIC.
195
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,008
Hank: HEY, OLD MAN.
196
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:27,136
I WAS JUST PLAYING MY BASS AT A
VOLUME THAT'S UNREASONABLE.
197
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,764
CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME MONEY TO
BUY RECORDS WITH CLEAR WARNING
198
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:30,515
LABELS?
199
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,474
OH, ROSE.
200
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,142
YOU GOT TO HELP ME STRAIGHTEN
HIM OUT.
201
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,978
Hank: YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA
STOP ME FROM OVERLY SEXUALIZED
202
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,147
DANCING AND DRESSING LIKE AN
INDIGENT.
203
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,607
LOUD ROCK MUSIC!
204
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,734
THE DEVIL HAS A GRIP ON YOU.
205
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,028
YOU'VE GOT TO FIGHT HIM,
SWEETIE.
206
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,822
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM WITH SHOW
TUNES.
207
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,198
Hank: SHOW TUNES?
208
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,909
IF I PLAY THEM BACKWARDS, WILL
THEY MAKE ME WANT TO TRY REEFER
209
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,119
CIGARETTE MARIJUANAS?
210
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,411
OH, HEAVEN'S NO.
211
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,789
THEY WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO
SOLVE PROBLEMS IN SONG.
212
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,165
AND WITH DANCING.
213
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,669
Hank: GOSH, I THINK I'D LIKE
TO GET HOOKED ON SHOW TUNES NOW.
214
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,671
I'VE BEEN SO WRONG ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
215
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,714
YOU'RE THE BEST FATHER IN THE
WORLD!
216
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:04,841
AW, SHUCKS, SON.
217
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,093
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT
ROSE, HERE.
218
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,095
Hank: YOU SURE DO MAKE A
GREAT TEAM.
219
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,931
HEY, POP, MAYBE SHE'D LIKE TO
HAVE DINNER WITH US?
220
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,141
OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
221
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,685
I'M SURE ROSE IS VERY --
OH, YES, YOUNG MAN.
222
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,979
I WOULD LOVE TO DINE WITH YOU.
223
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:21,649
SO, YOU START THE WATCH WHEN
SALEM COMES ON SCREEN, THEN STOP
224
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,025
IT WHEN HE'S OFF.
225
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,695
THEN YOU WRITE THE TIME DOWN AND
INDICATE WHETHER IT WAS THAT
226
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,405
CRAPPY PUPPET OR AN ACTUAL CAT.
227
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:31,033
Dean: ARE ALL THESE TAPES
"SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH"?
228
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,201
WELL, OBVIOUSLY, SON.
229
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,579
IT'S THE ONLY SHOW THAT STARRED
SALEM THE CAT.
230
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,290
NOW, ONCE YOU FINISH THAT, YOU
GET TO TAKE DICTATION FOR
231
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,917
"I GENTLEMAN," THE THIRD
INSTALLMENT OF MY
232
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:43,462
AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL THRILLOGY.
233
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:44,797
#21: OH, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
234
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:45,673
NOTHING CHANGED.
235
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:46,799
KEPT IT JUST THE WAY I LEFT IT.
236
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,968
HEY, HOW FAR IS THE FLOOR
FROM MY FEET?
237
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,428
#21: OH, LIKE A YARD.
238
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,972
AW, THEY GOT ME A
GUILD CALAMITY CONFERENCE SHIRT.
239
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:53,931
[ THUD ]
[ GRUNTS ]
240
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,558
YARD. THAT WAS LIKE 5 FEET.
241
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,894
#21: AWW, IT SAYS I'M HIS
BEST HENCHMAN.
242
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,103
IT'S A T-SHIRT. SO WHAT?
243
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,146
YOU GOT ANY WEAPONS?
244
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,439
#21: UNDER THE BED.
245
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,649
THE VENTURES NEVER GAVE ME A
T-SHIRT.
246
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,067
BOO-HOO.
247
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,904
I TATTOOED A "V" ON MY FACE, AND
I STILL GOT TO PAY FOR MY OWN
248
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:08,571
FOOD.
249
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,739
WHERE'S YOUR COSTUME?
250
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:10,740
#21: WHY DO YOU DO IT?
251
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:11,866
WHAT? BODYGUARD?
252
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,242
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
253
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,787
SERGEANT HATRED, UNCLE VATRED --
SAME OLD WAR HORSE FIGHTING FOR
254
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:17,914
WHAT HE CARES ABOUT.
255
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,540
#21: WELL, WHAT DO YOU CARE
ABOUT?
256
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,833
FIGHTING.
257
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,668
YEAH, JUST POINT ME AT A CAUSE,
AND I'LL DO THE REST.
258
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,629
#21: YOU KNOW, I CAN'T
BELIEVE WE'RE SO SIMILAR.
259
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:25,963
HOW COME WE NEVER GOT CLOSE?
260
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,591
'CAUSE I DON'T TRUST YOU, AND
'CAUSE YOU'RE A DORK.
261
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,009
AND THIS IS A TOY CHEST.
262
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,845
#21: THAT'S A DISPLAY CABINET
FOR COLLECTIBLES, MY FRIEND.
263
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:33,930
IT'S AT THE BOTTOM.
264
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,223
THAT'S MY OLD ONE.
265
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,807
IT MIGHT STILL SMELL LIKE SOUP.
266
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:37,975
[ GRUNTS ]
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
267
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:38,809
WHAT IS THAT?
268
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:39,936
#21: SOUP.
269
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:40,811
Monarch: OKAY.
270
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:41,771
I'M SO READY.
271
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:42,605
LET'S DO THIS.
272
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:43,731
YOU WANT TO REHEARSE AGAIN?
273
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,524
Monarch: NO, I GOT THIS ONE
DOWN.
274
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,777
YOU JUST GOT TO REMEMBER THAT
AFTER I DO THE SINISTER LAUGH,
275
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,946
YOU HAVE TO CROSS YOUR ARMS AND
LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M THE SHIT.
276
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,948
YOU WANT ME TO DO THE, UH...
277
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:52,990
Monarch: NO, NO.
278
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:53,866
THAT'S TOO "KING AND I."
279
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,117
KEEP IT BELIEVABLE.
280
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,912
[ BUZZING LIPS ]
HE FIGHTS THE ZEITGEIST WITH
281
00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,038
POLITE MIGHT.
282
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,040
[ BUZZING LIPS ]
[ INHALES ]
283
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:01,832
OKAY.
284
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,376
SHOWTIME.
285
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:07,129
[ CLANK ]
HELLO, DR. VENTURE.
286
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,798
ARE YOU PREPARED TO DIE?!
287
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:09,715
Dr. Venture: WHO'S THERE?
288
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:10,466
Monarch: OH.
289
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:11,717
WHY DID YOU BLINDFOLD HIM?!
290
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,594
I'M ALL DRESSED UP!
291
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,892
WE SIMPLY NAIL A MAN'S BALLS TO
A CHAIR.
292
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,602
WHERE IS THE POETRY?
293
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,147
AH, IN THE EAST, THEY KNOW THE
EXQUISITE BEAUTY OF TORTURE.
294
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,150
THERE THEY'VE TURNED A SOUND
THAT MAKES VIRGINS WEEP INTO A
295
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,820
SOUND THAT MAKES A MAN ROAR WITH
SUFFERING.
296
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,071
Dr. Venture: WHAT?
297
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:33,656
CAN'T HEAR SQUAT IN HERE.
298
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:34,448
WHERE AM I?
299
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,700
Monarch: THE BELL!
300
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:38,703
[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
Dr. Venture: LaBELLE?
301
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:39,370
PATTI LaBELLE?
302
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,705
Monarch: A BELL!
303
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,708
WHEN RUNG AT FULL PEAL, THE
VIBRATIONS PIERCE THE BODY LIKE
304
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,545
SHARP KNIVES THAT PULL AT THE
MUSCLES AND BURST THE VEINS.
305
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,881
THE BONES TWIST AND CRACK IN
RELATIVE SILENCE TO THE CRIES
306
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,883
OF...THE BELL!
307
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:58,264
[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
[ BELL RINGING ]
308
00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,598
RIGHT THERE.
309
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,517
I PAY HOW MUCH TO LIVE IN A
GATED NEIGHBORHOOD, AND SOME
310
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,894
LOSER CRANKS A MIKE OLDFIELD
ALBUM?
311
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,146
WHAT'S NEXT -- PINK FLOYD?!
312
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:10,943
[ RINGING CONTINUES ]
HAVE ANOTHER TOKE, HIPPIE.
313
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:11,944
Monarch: WHAT? NOTHING?!
314
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:12,945
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
315
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,196
Dr. Venture: WHAT CAN I TELL
YOU?
316
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,574
I SPENT MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD IN
A SUPERSONIC JET.
317
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:19,035
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
Dr. Venture: OH, I MEAN, OH!
318
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,786
I THINK MY KIDNEYS BURST!
319
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,581
PLEASE, NO MORE BURSTING OF
MY...KIDNEYS.
320
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:27,043
Monarch: [ SIGHS ]
THE BELL, DOT, DOT, DOT, SUCKS.
321
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,087
THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS.
322
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,964
YOU'RE FINISHED, BRAINULO!
323
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,717
BY NOW, JONAS AND OTTO HAVE
REALIGNED THE MISSILE.
324
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,093
IT'S OVER.
325
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,888
YOU MAY HAVE BESTED MY
JUDO LIZARDS, BUT YOU WON'T FARE
326
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,931
AS WELL WITH YOUR NEXT
OPPONENTS.
327
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,017
WE WON'T FIGHT EACH OTHER,
BRAINULO!
328
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,352
E-EACH OTHER?
329
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,062
OH...I WISH I THOUGHT OF THAT.
330
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,606
OH, IT REALLY SEEMS OBVIOUS NOW,
DOESN'T IT?
331
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,524
IT'S ALL BUT A CLICHé, YOU
IDIOT.
332
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,734
HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?
333
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,027
I DON'T KNOW.
334
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,738
BUT I DID COME UP WITH
SOMETHING MORE SINISTER.
335
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,281
PREPARE YOURSELF TO FIGHT...
336
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,910
YOUR CRUSHES -- TRIPLE THREAT
AND JASS.
337
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,411
NOBODY FOR HUMONGOLOID?
338
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,913
BE REALISTIC, BIG GUY.
339
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,790
YOU'RE SWEET ON JASS, REALLY?
340
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,124
LOOK AT HIM.
341
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,919
HE'S LIKE A BLADE OF SEXUAL
GRASS SWAYING IN THE BREEZE.
342
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,921
ARROW STRAIGHT, BELIEVE IT OR
NOT.
343
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,297
SO, TRIPLE THREAT?
344
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,965
IT'S THAT GOODY-GOODY THING.
345
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,427
I JUST WANT TO GET ALL ANIMAL ON
HER AND SHOW HER MY FILTH.
346
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,763
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
WAS THAT THE DOORBELL?
347
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:21,555
Hank: I THINK SO.
348
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,515
DO YOU WANT TO STOP HERE?
349
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,641
[ DOG BARKING ]
MISCHA!
350
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:24,225
WHO'S THAT, GIRL?
351
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,017
IS THAT KIKI?
352
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,602
IS THAT KIKI?
353
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:27,978
THAT'S MY PUPPY.
354
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,355
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
THERE'S A GIRL.
355
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,981
[ SNIFFLES ]
ALL RIGHT, DEAN.
356
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,149
PUT A PIN IN THAT STORY.
357
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,526
HAVE TO HAVE IT OUT WITH KIKI.
358
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:36,654
THAT AMBER TRAMP'S BEEN PLAYING
ME FOR A FOOL.
359
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:39,281
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DRILL
ROSE FOR, LIKE, 40 YEARS.
360
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,699
IT'S LIKE A DAMN OBSESSION.
361
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,035
YOU GREASE THOSE GEARS, AND YOU
CAN NAME YOUR PRICE.
362
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,370
Hank: ALL RIGHT.
363
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:47,706
I'M GONNA NEED $50 CASH,
StingRay BASS, AND A RIDE HOME,
364
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,584
'CAUSE THIS WHOLE PLACE SMELLS
LIKE DINTY MOORE BEEF STEW.
365
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,169
DONE, DONE, AND DONE.
366
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,587
Hank: SUPER SWEAR?
367
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:56,715
IF YOU CAN GET ME TIME WITH
ROSE, I'LL SWEAR ON THE ONLY
368
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,717
THING HOLY TO ME.
369
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,178
Together: GO, TEAM VENTURE.
370
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:05,808
21?
371
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,893
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY, SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK, MAN.
372
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:08,686
THIS PLACE SUCKS NOW.
373
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:09,895
MOPPETS?
374
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,231
DUDE, THEY'RE PRETTY MUCH
RUNNING CRAP IN HERE.
375
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,941
[ As #21 ] UH...HELLO.
376
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,484
WHAT'S THAT BLUE STUFF ON
YOUR FACE?
377
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,320
IT'S, UH...ICE. ICICLES.
378
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,448
[ GRUNTS ]
#21: W-T-FUCK ARE YOU
379
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,532
DOING?!
380
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,159
YOU MADE ME HIT A GUY ON MY
SOFTBALL TEAM.
381
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,744
[ Normal voice ] YEAH, THAT
WAS -- HEY, YOU SAVED ME.
382
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,163
I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD.
383
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,082
#21: OH, DUDE, DON'T GET ALL
SARAH McLACHLAN DOG COMMERCIAL
384
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,167
ON ME.
385
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,042
UH, I'M NOT.
386
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,085
I'M JUST...
387
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,253
AWW, GET OVER HERE.
388
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,671
#21: [ SIGHS ]
CAN WE HUG LATER?
389
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,840
YOU'VE GOT TO GO TO THE CELL
BLOCKS ON THE LOWER LEVEL.
390
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:38,841
I'M GONNA CHECK THE BRIDGE.
391
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:39,842
CHECK.
392
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,802
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN...
393
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,262
BUDDY.
394
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:48,434
WELL, ISN'T THAT INTERESTING.
395
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,561
[ WHIRRING ]
Monarch: OH, DON'T WORRY.
396
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,146
I'M NOT GOING INTO THAT CAVITY.
397
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,814
THAT NERVE'S ALREADY DYING.
398
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,359
A LIVE, FRESHLY CUT NERVE IS
INFINITELY MORE SENSITIVE.
399
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,527
[ GRUNTS ]
Dr. Venture: [ Muffled ]
400
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,528
WHAT?
401
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,572
Monarch: I CAN SMELL YOUR
FEAR.
402
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,617
UGH, AND YOUR FEAR SMELLS JUST
LIKE CAT FOOD.
403
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:05,993
UGH!
404
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,578
Dr. Venture: SORRY, I HAD
SHRIMP IN GARLIC BUTTER LAST
405
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:08,412
NIGHT.
406
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,080
Monarch: I-I CAN'T -- UGH.
407
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,790
IT -- IT'S JUST REALLY BAD.
408
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,043
HOW DO YOU EVEN STAND HAVING
THAT BE YOUR MOUTH?
409
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:14,710
UGH.
410
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:15,669
NO. NO.
411
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,795
WELL, THEN JUST GET OUT,
THEN!
412
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:17,796
I'M TIRED OF IT.
413
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,131
[ Moroccan accent ] WHO THIS
ONE?
414
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,133
HIM NEW LOVER FOR MR. GENTLEMAN?
415
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,218
THAT'S MY SON.
416
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,762
ARE YOU LEAVING, OR SHOULD I
THROW YOU OUT?
417
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,055
NO. KIKI LEAVE.
418
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,723
KIKI HAVE NEW MAN.
419
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:29,517
GREAT! HAVE FUN.
420
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,645
MAYBE WHEN HE KICKS HIS COKE
HABIT, YOUR NEW MAN WILL KICK
421
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:36,815
YOU LIKE HE DOES ALL HIS BOYS!
422
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:41,570
Dean: I...UM...I ARRANGED THE
FIRST TWO CHAPTERS FOR YOU AND
423
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,405
THEN MADE A CHAPTER FOR YOUR
LISTS.
424
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,240
YES.
425
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,617
YES, LET'S GET BACK TO MY LISTS.
426
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,160
Dean: IF YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS --
427
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,955
COLONEL GENTLEMAN'S LIST OF
THINGS NOT TO DO.
428
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:54,583
NUMBER ONE -- GET INVOLVED WITH
A PERSON 1/3 YOUR AGE.
429
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,834
YOU HEAR ME, DEAN?
430
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,295
Dean: UH, I CAN SAFELY
PROMISE THAT I WON'T GET
431
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,755
INVOLVED WITH A 6-YEAR-OLD.
432
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:02,758
NUMBER TWO -- RETIRE TO A
COUNTRY WHERE YOUR SEXUAL
433
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,593
PREFERENCE IS A CAPITAL OFFENSE.
434
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,555
NUMBER THREE -- STAY PAST YOUR
WELCOME.
435
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,682
THIS PLACE USED TO BE A
PARADISE.
436
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,393
THAT PRETTY PEACOCK
YVES SAINT LAURENT LIVED RIGHT
437
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:13,602
THERE.
438
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:17,523
BURROUGHS, CAPOTE, FORBES,
KEROUAC, GINSBERG -- AH,
439
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,401
GINSBERG, THAT EAGER LITTLE
PUPPY.
440
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:21,360
I MISS 'EM.
441
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,237
THEY'RE ALL GONE, DEAN.
442
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,446
AND HERE I AM.
443
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,906
Dean: SHOULD I BE WRITING
THIS DOWN?
444
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,783
YES, BUT NOT FOR MY MEMOIRS.
445
00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:30,619
FOR ME, SO I CAN LOOK AT MY
LIFE.
446
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,622
WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
447
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,540
DOC?
448
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,083
[ GUN COCKS ]
PSST.
449
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,042
Doc?
450
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,085
You in here?
451
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,420
[ GUN COCKS ]
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?
452
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:40,588
WHERE'S DOC?
453
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,632
HE'S BEING TORTURED BY THE
MONARCH AND 21.
454
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,051
YOU'RE SUCH A SUCKER, MAN.
455
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,596
FAT BOY BEEN PLAYING YOU THE
WHOLE TIME.
456
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,015
HE WOULD NEVER -- YOU'RE
LYING!
457
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,224
WHATEVER.
458
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,810
SHOW THIS MAN OUT AND TREAT HIM
APPROPRIATELY --
459
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,895
USE THE GARBAGE CHUTE.
460
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,606
[ YELLS ]
461
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,442
SHOW ME THE GARBAGE CHUTE,
WILL YOU?
462
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,735
YOU'RE THE GARBAGE HERE!
463
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,403
YOU'RE A BUNCH OF LYING...
464
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,739
GARBAGE PEOPLE.
465
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,992
#21: WHERE THE HELL IS
EVERYBODY?
466
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,369
WELL, HELLO, TRAITOR.
467
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,163
SECURITY TO THE THRONE ROOM.
468
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,873
#21: WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS.
469
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:19,501
YEAH, I WAS TIPPED OFF BY
YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND.
470
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,920
I GAVE HIM DR. VENTURE AND HE
SOLD YOU OUT LIKE YOU WERE
471
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,840
NOTHING, SO WHY DON'T YOU PUT
THESE ON AND WE'LL GO HAVE A
472
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,008
CHAT WITH THE MONARCH?
473
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,051
#21: ALL RIGHT, YEAH.
474
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:28,344
LET'S.
475
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,346
LET'S SHOW HIM HOW YOU TWO ARE
TAKING OVER THE COCOON.
476
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,722
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE YOU.
477
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:35,851
#21: OH, HE'LL BELIEVE HIS
BEST HENCHMAN OVER A LYING
478
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,102
MURDERER.
479
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,562
I KNOW IT WAS YOU GUYS.
480
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,899
[ DOOR OPENS ]
SEIZE THE TRAITOR!
481
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,025
#21: WAIT!
482
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,277
THE MOPPETS HAVE BROKEN OUR MOST
SACRED LAW.
483
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,613
THEY KILLED HENCHMAN 24.
484
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,990
HENCH HAS KILLED HENCH.
485
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:50,824
HENCH HAS KILLED HENCH.
486
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,034
HENCH HAS KILLED HENCH.
487
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,245
All: [ CHANTING ] HENCH HAS
KILLED HENCH...
488
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:55,954
WE DIDN'T!
489
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:56,872
HE'S A LIAR AND A TRAITOR!
490
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:57,706
SEIZE HIM!
491
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,874
All: HENCH HAS KILLED HENCH.
492
00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,459
I CAN PROVE HE'S LYING.
493
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,796
IDIOTS! HE'S GETTING AWAY!
494
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,631
Monarch: [ SIGHS ]
FORGET IT.
495
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,675
WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE
496
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,218
FOR THAT GODDAMN EXTENSION CORD.
497
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,219
I'M DONE.
I'M DONE.
498
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,637
Dr. Venture: WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?
499
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,555
Monarch: I'M UNTYING YOU AND
LETTING YOU GO.
500
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,182
Dr. Venture: ABOUT TIME
TEAM VENTURE RESCUED ME.
501
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,809
Monarch: NOBODY CAME TO
RESCUE YOU.
502
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,394
LOOK, NOBODY EVEN ANSWERED MY
RANSOM CALLS.
503
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,020
Dr. Venture: WELL, MAYBE IF
YOU HOLD ME LONGER.
504
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,022
I -- I'M SURE SOMEBODY'S WORKING
ON A RESCUE PLAN.
505
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:22,856
Monarch: FORGET IT.
506
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,983
WE LOSE. WE'RE WASH-UPS. LOSERS.
507
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,152
YOU KNOW MY BEST HENCHMAN LEFT
ME?
508
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,112
Dr. Venture: YEAH.
509
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,613
HE'S BEEN HANGING AROUND MY
PLACE.
510
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,407
THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF
BROCK WAS STILL AROUND.
511
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:32,991
Monarch: JUST BE HAPPY YOU
DON'T HAVE DWARVES TRYING TO
512
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,326
TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE.
513
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,994
Dr. Venture: [ SCOFFS ]
YOU HAVEN'T MET MY BROTHER,
514
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:36,704
APPARENTLY.
515
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,538
Monarch: OH, YEAH.
516
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,580
HE'S REALLY DOING WELL, HUH?
517
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,957
YEAH, I HAVE THAT WITH MY WIFE.
518
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,626
SHE WAS JUST TAPPED FOR THE
COUNCIL OF 13, SO MY OLD NUMBER
519
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,712
TWO WILL BE MY BOSS.
520
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:45,963
Dr. Venture: THAT'S NOTHING.
521
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,756
MY NEW BODYGUARD IS MY OLD
ARCHENEMY.
522
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,633
Monarch: [ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH, THAT'S MESSED UP.
523
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,759
[ SIGHING ] ALL RIGHT.
524
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,510
WELL...
525
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:52,553
GUESS YOU SHOULD JUST GO HOME.
526
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:53,762
CAN YOU EVEN CALL IT A HOME?
527
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,472
IS IT JUST A BOX FULL OF
MEMORIES?
528
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,932
Dr. Venture: ALL RIGHT.
529
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:57,891
UM...CAN I GET A RIDE?
530
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,059
Monarch: NO, NO. CAN'T.
531
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,186
I GOT TO TELL THE WIFE YOU
ESCAPED AND...WELL, YOU
532
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:01,937
UNDERSTAND.
533
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:02,730
Dr. Venture: YEAH, NO.
534
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:03,731
SO, UH...SHOULD I JUST...
535
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,733
Monarch: YEAH, LET YOURSELF
OUT.
536
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,025
UH, BREAK A COUPLE OF THINGS.
537
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,068
MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.
538
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,153
Dr. Venture: GOD.
539
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,572
I LIKED BEING TORTURED MORE THAN
THIS HERE.
540
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,616
THIS IS...UGH.
541
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,745
I'M JUST SO DAMN LONELY,
ROSE.
542
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:18,829
LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT.
543
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,914
WE'RE JUST TOO DIFFERENT,
RODNEY.
544
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,958
YOU'RE A WOMANIZER AND A JUNKIE.
545
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:23,751
OH, NO.
546
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:24,960
THAT ALL ENDED.
547
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:27,838
I WAS FAITHFUL TO JEANNIE TILL
THE DAY SHE DIED.
548
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:28,714
AND JUNKIE?
549
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,758
I-I WAS A DANG SUPER SOLDIER.
550
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,677
JONAS HAD ME ON JUMP JUICE FOR
THE GOOD OF FLAG AND COUNTRY.
551
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,471
I KICKED THAT YEARS AGO.
552
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,515
RODNEY, THAT'S JUST A BUSHEL
OF BALONEY.
553
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,809
Hank: [ GASPS ]
WAIT A MINUTE. THAT VOICE!
554
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,979
I-I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHY
YOU'RE SO FAMILIAR.
555
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:45,647
DO YOU HAVE A SON NAMED BILLY?
556
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:49,443
UH, BIG HEAD, EYE PATCH, METAL
HAND, PROBABLY A MIDGET?
557
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:50,194
YES.
558
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,571
OH, MY LITTLE WATER BABY.
559
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,531
OH, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN YEARS.
560
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,824
HE MOVED IN WITH A MAN.
561
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,535
I THINK HE WAS AFRAID I'LL
DISAPPROVE OF HIS...
562
00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,703
LIFESTYLE CHOICE.
563
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,747
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE IS
ANYMORE.
564
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,539
Hank: WELL, I DO.
565
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:03,916
HE'S MY NEIGHBOR.
566
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:07,127
HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU TWO COME
VISIT ME BACK HOME?
567
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:11,006
YOU AND UNCLE RODNEY AND MY NEW
BASS AND YOUR LITTLE WATER BABY
568
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,050
CAN HAVE A NICE REUNION.
569
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:13,926
YES.
570
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:17,137
WELL, THAT SOUNDS JUST ELEGANT.
571
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,022
ALL RIGHT, GARY.
572
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,858
JUDAS. BETRAY ME, WILL YOU?
573
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,528
OH, HO, A RECKONING'S COMING,
BUDDY.
574
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,197
A RECKONING IS COMING!
575
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,660
SWEETIE, DR. VENTURE ESCAPED!
576
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,411
Monarch: NO, HE DIDN'T.
577
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:42,204
I LET HIM GO.
578
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,206
WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?
579
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,749
WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO?
580
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,668
Monarch: BECAUSE I BROKE HIM!
581
00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:49,127
I BROKE HIS WILL!
582
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,546
I BROKE HIS SPIRIT.
583
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,258
OH, MY LOVELY, NAIVE LITTLE
GIRL, HOW EASY IT IS TO BREAK A
584
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:58,512
BONE, BUT TO BREAK A MAN'S
HEART -- THAT TAKES GENIUS.
585
00:18:58,595 --> 00:18:59,555
PHYSICAL TORTURE?
586
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,139
WOUNDS HEAL.
587
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,683
BUT MENTAL TORTURE?
588
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:06,019
THOSE WOUNDS ONLY GROW AND
FESTER.
589
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,356
I HAVE CRUSHED DR. VENTURE!
590
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:13,485
[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
YOU KNOW I'M THE SHIT!
591
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,071
I AM SO TURNED ON.
592
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:17,698
YOU HAVE TO DO ME RIGHT NOW.
593
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:18,699
Monarch: COME.
594
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:19,908
SERVICE YOUR EVIL GENIUS.
595
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,661
[ DOOR OPENS ]
#21: OH, UH...HEY, YOU GUYS.
596
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,621
I'M, UH...I'M HOME?
597
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,582
ATTENTION, GARY.
598
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,293
IT'S YOUR OLD PAL,
SERGEANT HATRED.
599
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,629
COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP, OR
I WILL --
600
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,506
OH. OH, THAT'S A MISSILE.
601
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,424
OH, BOY.
602
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,217
THAT IS ON ALL KINDS OF FIRE.
603
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,220
IT'S HEADING FOR THE HOUSE AND
IT IS ON FIRE.
604
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,348
GARY, I STILL HATE YOU, BUT YOU
GOT TO GET OUT OF THERE!
605
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,435
YOU GOT TO EVACUATE, MAN!
606
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,272
OH, THE HUMANITY!
607
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,443
I-I'M JUST GONNA GO NOW AND,
UH...WE'LL PICK THIS UP ANOTHER
608
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,319
TIME.
609
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:58,363
[ COUGHS ]
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
610
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,282
Monarch: OUR COCOON.
611
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,326
#21: [ COUGHS ]
THAT SUCKED.
612
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,287
Monarch: WHO THE FUCK IS
GARY?
613
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,289
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
614
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:37,361
[ CAR DOORS CLOSE ]
OH, IT'S SO ROMANTIC.
615
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,696
WE'RE MOVING INTO THE HOUSE YOU
WERE RAISED IN.
616
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,156
IT'S LIKE A FAIRY TALE.
617
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,450
Monarch: UH, IT DIDN'T LOOK
QUITE THIS BAD WHEN I WAS A KID.
618
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,161
#21: YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE THE
KIND OF PLACE THAT HAS CREEPY,
619
00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:48,246
WET ASIAN KIDS CRAWLING ON THE
CEILING.
620
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:51,667
HE'S A LYING, TWO-TIMING
LITTLE SO-AND-SO, AND I BROKE
621
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,668
BREAD WITH HIM!
622
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:53,835
I EVEN BROKE HEADS WITH HIM.
623
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,712
Dr. Venture: YOU CAN'T TAKE
IT PERSONALLY.
624
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,631
OH, JUST WATCH ME!
625
00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:58,340
Quizboy: JUST PLAY ALONG.
626
00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,508
IT'S NOT GONNA KILL YOU.
627
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,051
Pete: WHY WOULD YOU TELL YOUR
MOM I'M GAY?
628
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,344
Quizboy: I DIDN'T TELL HER.
629
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,428
I JUST DIDN'T DENY IT.
630
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,472
SHE SENT US THAT CHINA AND THE
SIDEBOARD.
631
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,224
WHITE, YOU LOVE THAT SIDEBOARD.
632
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,142
SO, THIS IS PETER.
633
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,395
HE'S AS HANDSOME AS YOU SAID HE
WAS, BILLY.
634
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,105
Pete: YOU SAID I WAS
HANDSOME?
635
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,691
YEAH, IT'S A LITTLE
BROWNSTONE ON CHRISTOPHER
636
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,441
STREET.
637
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,275
YOU CAN BRING ROSE.
638
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,735
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
639
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,738
IF YOU DON'T MIND THE SOUND
OF OLD PEOPLE HAVING SEX, YOU'VE
640
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,032
GOT YOURSELF A ROOMMATE.
641
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,993
Hank: DEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE
SOMEONE DIED.
642
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,577
Dean: THIS IS A FUNERAL,
HANK.
643
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,579
Hank: NO, I MEAN, LIKE, ALL
THE TIME.
644
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,957
YOU'VE BEEN A MESS THIS WHOLE
YEAR, MAN.
645
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,875
YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME WHAT'S
EATING YOU.
646
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,335
Dean: YOU WANT TO KNOW, HANK?
647
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,545
OKAY, FINE.
648
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,505
I'M SICK OF KEEPING IT IN, SO
I'LL JUST TELL YOU.
649
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:42,551
[ SIGHS ]
WE...ARE...CLONES, HANK.
650
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,386
OUR WHOLE LIVES -- IT'S A LIE.
651
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,139
WE'RE NOT REALLY HANK AND DEAN
ANYMORE.
652
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:51,560
WE'VE DIED LIKE 13 TIMES, AND
NOW WE'RE COPIES OF OURSELVES.
653
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,103
WE'RE CLONES.
654
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:55,063
CLONES.
655
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:55,731
Hank: DEAN...
656
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,317
THAT IS AWESOME.
657
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,735
Dean: YOU'RE -- YOU'RE NOT
UPSET?
658
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,069
Hank: ABOUT WHAT?!
659
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,697
THAT I'M, LIKE, SOME KIND OF
SUPER-COOL, PROBABLY MAGIC,
660
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,323
HIGHLANDER CYBORG CLONE?!
661
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:06,575
UH, NO.
662
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:12,164
HEY, JUST ONE MORE REASON IT'S
GREAT TO BE A VENTURE.
663
00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:13,749
GOODBYE, OLD FRIEND.
664
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:17,961
HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY IN YOUR NEW
RESTING PLACE.
665
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,796
OKAY, WHO'S THE YOUNGEST?
666
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,339
Dr. Venture: DON'T LOOK AT
ME.
667
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:22,591
DEAN, SON!
668
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,051
WE NEED YOU OVER HERE.
669
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:29,556
Hank: OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
THIS.