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HIDDEN BENEATH ITS MURKY WATERS,
LIES THE HEADQUARTERS OF
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THE MOST SINISTER
CRIME COLLECTIVE IN NEW YORK --
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THE DOOM FACTORY.
4
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HERE, 10 OF THE MOST RUTHLESSLY
SELF-INVOLVED VILLAINS ON EARTH
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LOOSELY ALIGN FORCES AGAINST
THE POWERS OF GOOD.
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THE COLD-HEARTED ICE SCULPTRESS,
FRIGID.
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THE TOXIC TONGUE OF
SERPENTINE.
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[ ICE SHATTERS ]
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OH, LOOK EVERYONE.
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POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL
NEEDS ATTENTION.
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Narrator:
MINIATURE MUSE EENIE-MEANIE
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AND GERARD THE GORILLA.
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THE WATCHFUL BLACK MARIA,
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AND TRASHENSTEIN,
THE EXQUISITE CORPSE.
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[ GROWLS ]
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ULTRA-VIOLENT AND BILLY MAIM.
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[ FABRIC RIPS ]
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THE FEMININE-YET-GIGANTIC
SHE-HEMOTH
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AND THE BITTERSWEET
HARD CANDY...
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ALL SYCOPHANTIC CLINGERS-ON
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TO THE EVIL GENIUS
OF WES WARHAMMER.
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HEY, SO, UM, UH, GUYS, UM...
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WE SHOULD GET DR. VENTURE.
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♪♪
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[ CLICKS TONGUE ] UM...
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IS SOMETHING SUPPOSED
TO HAPPEN HERE?
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WAIT FOR IT.
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[ SIGHS HEAVILY ]
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BROCK, HOW LONG IS THIS
LITTLE HOME MOVIE OF YOURS?
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IT AIN'T A MOVIE, DOC.
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
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IT'S A THREAT.
IT CAME THIS MORNING IN THIS.
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SO, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS
A GOOD IDEA TO JUST
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OPEN UP A BOX MARKED "DOOM!"
IN MY HOUSE.
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IT'S HYPNOTIC.
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THE SIMPLE BEAUTY
AND REPETITIVENESS
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REALLY MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT
THE PARADOXICAL IMMUTABILITY
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AND PLASTICITY OF TIME.
OOH! BIG COLLEGE WORDS.
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DO YOU WANT HELP TONIGHT OR NOT,
LOVERBOY?
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WHAT'S TONIGHT?
HANK'S GOT A HOT --
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NOTHING!
UH, HANK'S GOT A...HANK-ERING
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TO, UH...REDECORATE
HIS ROOM TONIGHT.
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GOOD. YOU BOYS STAY HERE
IN THE PENTHOUSE TONIGHT.
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YOU, TOO, DOC.
I'M LOCKING HER DOWN.
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Ventures: WHAT? WHY?
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[ TIRES SCREECH, LOUD CRASH ]
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[ EXPLOSION ]
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♪♪
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BECAUSE OF THAT.
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Dr. Mrs. the Monarch: THEY'RE
WALKING INTO A DEATH TRAP.
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WE HAVE TO CALL OFF
THE WARHAMMER ARCH.
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WHY, EXACTLY?
52
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BECAUSE YOU THINK THE WORLD'S
LAZIEST SUPER-SCIENTIST
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HAS SUDDENLY BECOME
A COSTUMED CRUSADER?
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BECAUSE I KNOW HE IS.
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WATCH THE SURVEILLANCE VIDEO
AGAIN.
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VENTURE AND SAMSON RUN OUT,
AND THEN 20 SECONDS LATER,
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THE BLUE MORPHO
AND HIS BIG SIDEKICK SHOW UP?
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PREPOSTEROUS. THERE'D BE NO TIME
FOR THEM TO CHANGE.
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WRONG! I CAN DO IT
IN 18.6 SECONDS. HERE, TIME ME.
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UH, NO, THAT WON'T
BE NECESSARY, COUNCILWOMAN.
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00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,821
NO, REALLY, WATCH.
COUNCILWOMAN.
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WHAT'S BECOME ABUNDANTLY CLEAR
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00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,867
IS THAT YOUR HUSBAND'S UNHEALTHY
OBSESSION WITH DR. VENTURE
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HAS STARTED
RUBBING OFF ON YOU.
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WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A DAY,
COUNCILWOMAN.
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DUDE, YOU GOTTA GET HER
OUT OF THERE!
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I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN
THE MORPHO CAVE FOR TWO HOURS
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WHILE SHE MEETS
WITH HER JEDI COUNCIL.
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WILL YOU CALM DOWN?
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I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'D JUST
COMMANDEER THE PLACE.
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I WAS GONNA MAKE THAT
MY NEW THRONE ROOM.
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JUST GET HER OUTTA THERE!
MONARCH: I will.
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[ GROWLS ]
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HEY, SUGAR-POP,
WHATCHA DOING IN HERE?
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NOTHING, APPARENTLY.
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THERE'S A ROGUE VILLAIN KILLER
ON THE LOOSE,
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AND INSTEAD OF LETTING ME
DO MY JOB,
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THE COUNCIL --
IN THEIR INFINITE WISDOM --
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THINKS THEY CAN STOP HIM WITH...
P-POSTERS.
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GREAT!
OUT OF YOUR HANDS THEN.
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YOU CAN TAKE THE DAY OFF.
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OOH!
GET YOU ALL RELAXED.
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00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,699
MMM!
PUT YOU IN A WARM BATH...
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MAGIC MONARCH HANDS.
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[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
OH!
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[ BOTH MOANING ]
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YEAH.
YOU ARE JUST A TIGER TODAY.
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00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,918
MMM.
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WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON?
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00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,631
I JUST...MISS YOU SO MUCH.
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00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,965
Hank: AHH.
[ HORSE WHINNIES ]
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00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,133
IS THERE ANYTHING
MORE ROMANTIC
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00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,385
THAN A CARRIAGE RIDE
THROUGH CENTRAL PARK?
95
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,803
THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR.
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00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,681
THE SMELL OF HORSE POOP THAT'S
IN THE WIND THAT'S IN YOUR HAIR.
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UM, OKAY, SO I'VE WAITED,
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00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,769
AND SINCE YOU'RE NOT GONNA
SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, CLEARLY,
99
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UH, WHAT IS WITH
YOUR OUTFIT?
100
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YOU -- YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
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IT'S THE --
ISN'T IT THE "BAD" OUTFIT?
102
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NO, THIS IS THE GOOD ONE!
103
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OKAY, WE'RE HERE.
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[ BEEP ]
WE'RE WHERE?
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[ Lowered voice ] WING-MEN!
THAT'S THE SIGNAL.
106
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,368
MR. WHITE, YOU'RE UP FIRST.
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00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,494
SERIOUSLY, HANK,
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WE'RE, LIKE, FIVE BLOCKS
FROM MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
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00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,830
WE SHOULD JUST GET OUTTA HERE
BEFORE MY DAD SENDS
110
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ONE OF HIS GOON SQUAD
TO FIND ME.
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ALL RIGHT, THIS IS A HOLDUP!
112
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GIMME YOUR PURSE, LADY!
113
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[ GASPS ] CRIME!
COME ON, COME ON.
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STAND BACK, SIRENA.
I'VE GOT THIS.
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00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,965
[ BLOWS AIR ]
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SHOO! OOH! SHAMON!
117
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OHH!
AH!
118
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PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!
119
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YEAH, HE'LL THINK TWICE
120
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,889
BEFORE HE THROWS DOWN WITH
HANK VENTURE AGAIN.
121
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[ EXHALES ]
YEAH, IMPRESSIVE.
122
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,267
CAN I GET THAT KNIFE
FOR A SECOND?
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00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,478
LITTLE SOUVENIR OF
THE DAY I SAVED YOUR LIFE.
124
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:34,232
SAY, DO YOU HEAR THOSE
WAY OUT BONGO SOUNDS?
125
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,316
♪♪
126
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,736
HEY, HEPCAT,
MIND IF I SIT ONE IN?
127
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,949
[ SNORTS, LAUGHS ]
OH, MY GOD, NO.
128
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♪ SIRENA ♪
129
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,370
♪ SWAM IN MY LIFE ♪
130
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,038
♪ SIRENA ♪
131
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,748
♪ I SAVED YOU FROM A KNIFE ♪
132
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,376
♪ SIRENA -- ♪
AH, CRAP.
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00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,627
SHE'S NOT BUYING IT.
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00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,920
I'M LOSIN' HER, DEANO.
135
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,088
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SCRAP
THE LOST BABY GAG
136
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,924
AND STEP TO PHASE TWO.
UGH! THANK YOU!
137
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,759
I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
138
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,386
I ALREADY SECURED
THE RESERVATION.
139
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,638
BROWN WIDOW WORKS
AT A BRASSERIE DOWNTOWN
140
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,306
THAT IS TRèS HANK.
141
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,685
WE'LL RENDEZVOUS THERE.
NOW GO TO HER, MY BROTHER.
142
00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:13,021
WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
143
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,398
GRANTED, THE SONG WASN'T
MY BEST, BUT --
144
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MY DAD HAD ME CHIPPED
145
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,900
LIKE I'M A FRIGGIN' POODLE
OR SOME SHIT,
146
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,110
BECAUSE HE'S GOTTA KNOW
WHERE I AM
147
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,195
ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME,
I SWEAR TO GOD.
148
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,365
SO I JUST, UH, I DIG 'EM OUT
WHEN I'M HAVING FUN.
149
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,992
THAT IS SOME WHACKED OUT
PARENTING.
150
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,661
WAIT. YOU'RE HAVING...FUN?
151
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,581
Brock: ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME
TO WRAP IT UP DOWN THERE, DOC.
152
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,749
IT'S GETTIN' DARK.
153
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,625
THESE DOOM CREEPS ARE LIKE
VAMPIRES.
154
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,252
THEY ONLY ARCH AT NIGHT.
155
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,963
SO I WANT YOU UP HERE,
IN THE PANIC ROOM IN 10 MINUTES.
156
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,048
YA HEAR ME, DOC?
YA HEAR ME, DOC?
157
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,008
Yes, I copy, Brock.
158
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,259
BUT I CAN'T JUST DROP
EVERYTHING.
159
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:46,512
MY...WORK IS AT
A VERY DELICATE POINT.
160
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,681
I'M RIGHT ON THE VERGE
OF AN IMPORTANT BREAKTHROUGH.
161
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,808
[ FLAMES WHOOSH ]
162
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,560
AH! COME ON, DOC!
163
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,979
WE -- WE'RE ON THE SAME
DANG TEAM HERE!
164
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9 MINUTES, DOC.
WHERE ARE THE BOYS?
165
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,941
I AM SWORN TO SECRECY.
166
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,152
WHERE ARE THE BOYS?
AAH! THEY'RE IN THE PARK!
167
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,529
SOME KIND OF DOUBLE DATE
OR SOMETHING.
168
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,822
WHAT -- WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
169
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,532
LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND ME.
LOCK IT ALL DOWN.
170
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,659
WE GOT ANOTHER LEVEL 10
COMIN' AT US.
171
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,078
AH, JEEZ. AGAIN?
172
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,663
WE JUST GOT THE FLOOR FIXED.
173
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,748
ALL RIGHT. [ SIGHS ]
174
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,458
AH, COME ON.
175
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,542
[ SMACK ]
OW!
176
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,377
WHAT THE...
177
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,756
OH, HELLO.
[ THUD ]
178
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,592
♪♪
179
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:28,262
[ BEEPING STEADILY ]
180
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,185
[ BEEPING RAPIDLY ]
181
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,394
[ DING ]
182
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,480
WHAT'D YOU DO TO HIM?
HEY, WHAT'D YOU DO TO HER?
183
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,732
[ WEAPONS CLICK ]
184
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,693
AAH!
185
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,695
AAH! HO!
186
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,948
[ GRUNTS, GROANS ]
187
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,908
[ SPITS ] POWER SUIT.
188
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,076
PUSSY.
189
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,245
HO-OH! BUDDY,
YOU JUST BROUGHT A KNIFE
190
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,248
TO A DIRECTED ENERGY
HARPOON FIGHT.
191
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,248
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
192
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,291
Monarch:
SWEETIE? YOU UP HERE?
193
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,336
I'VE GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL
FOR YOU.
194
00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:02,880
DO I HEAR A STRANGER
IN THE BARN?
195
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,298
[ CHUCKLES ]
196
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,508
[ Southern accent ]
WHY, MISS BETTY JOE,
197
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,094
I'M JUST A FIELD HAND
LOOKING FOR WORK.
198
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:11,222
MY PA WON'T LET ME TALK
TO NO STRANGERS.
199
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:15,101
BUT I GET POWERFUL LONELY
ALL ALONE ON THIS FARM.
200
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:18,104
IF YOU WANNA SLEEP
IN THIS...HAY BALE,
201
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,689
I'M SURE MY PA --
[ SMACK ]
202
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,066
[ SNORES ]
203
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,527
UGH. CAN'T BELIEVE
I JUST DID THAT!
204
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,363
I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS GONNA DO
FARMER'S DAUGHTER. AH!
205
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:30,449
I SHOULD'VE SHOT HER
AFTER THE HAY RIDE! [ SIGHS ]
206
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,994
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'D YOU DIG UP
ON THIS WARHAMMER CLOWN?
207
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,662
ALL RIGHT, I FOUND OUT
ALL ABOUT HIM.
208
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:35,955
HE AND HIS GANG ARE LIKE
209
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,540
THIS NEW BREED
OF POST-MODERN "ARTSY" VILLAIN.
210
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,833
I DON'T REALLY GET IT.
211
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,918
IT'S ALL A LITTLE TOO
"OH, LOOK AT ME, I'M SO CLEVER"
212
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,461
FOR MY TASTES.
WHERE'S HE HIDE OUT?
213
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,173
OH, HE'S GOT THIS SWEET
UNDERWATER LAIR OUT IN BROOKLYN.
214
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,924
YOU KNOW,
"MODERN ENEMY" MAGAZINE
215
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,259
DID A LOVELY SPREAD ON IT.
216
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,887
WHO CARES? THE BLUE MORPHO
IS TAKING IT DOWN!
217
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,513
TAKING IT DOWNTOWN!
218
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,140
DUDE, NO.
I AM NOT KILLING ANYONE.
219
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,142
THIS BOOK I'M READING,
IT -- IT SAYS THAT
220
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:59,061
I HAVE TO KEEP MY --
221
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:59,061
OH, WILL YOU STOP WITH
THE P.T.S.D. NONSENSE!
222
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,981
SO YOU KILLED A GUY.
YOU'RE A SUPERVILLAIN!
223
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,649
TO THE MORPHO SCOOTERS!
224
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,443
♪♪
225
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,653
[ ENGINES START ]
226
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,865
AH.
[ HORN HONKS ]
227
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:11,949
WAIT. WAIT! HOW DO I --
228
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,076
[ HORN HONKS ]
ALL RIGHT.
229
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,080
[ BOTH GRUNTING WEARILY ]
230
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,960
HEY, YOU MOVE PRETTY GOOD FOR
A GUY DRESSED AS A WATER BUG.
231
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,296
SPECIAL FORCES?
YEAH, DELTA.
232
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,048
WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT
JUMP THING?
233
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,925
ACHILLES IN "TROY."
234
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,551
AH, THE PITT-STER. NICE.
235
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,053
IT'S A TOTALLY
UNDERRATED MOVIE.
236
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,722
YEAH, RIGHT?
237
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:35,890
LOOK, BRO,
238
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,184
WE CAN PLAY ROCK'EM BROCK'EM
ROBOTS ALL NIGHT,
239
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,686
BUT IT AIN'T GONNA
BRING THEM KIDS BACK.
240
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,271
[ SIGHS ] YOU GOT A POINT.
241
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,814
AND MY BOSS'LL KILL ME,
242
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,524
HE FINDS OUT
I LOST HIS DAUGHTER.
243
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,568
I FIGURE ANYONE WITH THE STUGOTS
TO CROSS HIM,
244
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,570
THEY GOTTA BE
SOME PRETTY HEAVY HITTERS.
245
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:53,157
SO, UH, SEEIN' AS WE BOTH GOT
A HORSE IN THIS RACE,
246
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,992
WHAT DO YOU SAY, UH,
YOU AND ME...
247
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,994
SERIOUSLY? A TEAM-UP?
248
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,412
WHOA! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
249
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,164
WE DON'T GOTTA GO PUTTING
LABELS ON THIS THING.
250
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,540
ALL RIGHT, MY TURN.
251
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:05,711
OKAY, WERE I KING,
I WOULD OUTLAW ALL YELLOW CANDY.
252
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,046
ALWAYS THE WORST FLAVOR.
253
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,297
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
254
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,092
WERE I KING,
I WOULD OUTLAW MEN IN SANDALS.
255
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,843
NO, WAIT. SANDALS WITH SOCKS!
256
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,637
WAIT! ROCCO IN SANDALS!
257
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,846
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
258
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,348
ROCCO'S MOTHER SO SHE COULD
NEVER GIVE BIRTH TO ROCCO.
259
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,016
YOU ARE A JUST AND NOBLE KING.
260
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,768
GUESS WHAT? WE'RE HERE.
261
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:23,813
AND I SECURED THE BEST SEAT
IN THE HOUSE, MY LIEGE.
262
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,149
THERE HE IS! IT'S TEEN SENSATION
HANK VENTURE!
263
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,943
SHAZAM!
LOOK AT HIS NEW GAL PAL!
264
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,821
HOW'S ABOUT A SMOOCH SHOT
FOR THE PRESS, MR. VENTURE?
265
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:36,158
UGH. PAPARAZZI.
THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME.
266
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,577
IS THIS PLACE EVEN OPEN,
HANK?
267
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,079
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF
ESTABLISHMENT IS THIS?
268
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,414
IT'S REALLY DARK.
269
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,207
I DON'T KNOW.
IT WAS RECOMMENDED TO ME BY --
270
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,917
HIYA!
IT'S A FUCKING NINJA!
271
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,212
OOH! HIYA! [ GRUNTS ]
272
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,673
HAI. WELCOME TO YUMI.
TABLE FOR TWO? KIA.
273
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,757
OH, MY GOD, YES!
274
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,844
WHERE HAS THIS PLACE BEEN
ALL MY LIFE?!
275
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,887
♪♪
276
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,222
[ SNIFFS ] WHAT IS THE...
277
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,516
[ SNIFFS ]
THIS HAS GOTTA BE HANK.
278
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:02,435
HANK?
279
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,687
[ ART ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
280
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,649
[ AIR HISSES ]
281
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,649
Man:
♪ POOR LITTLE WHITE GIRL ♪
282
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:13,070
YOU'RE -- NO, YOU'RE DOING IT
ALL WRONG, DARLING.
283
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,947
LONGER, SLOWER STROKES.
284
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,949
UH...EXCUSE ME?
285
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,702
WHERE DID YOU PEOPLE COME FROM?
ARE YOU FRIENDS OF HANK?
286
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:20,870
HANK? WHAT'S "HANK?"
287
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,371
ARE THOSE THE PINK ONES
OR THE YELLOW ONES?
288
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,040
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
WOWIE ZOWIE!
289
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,458
ARE YOU HOLDING ANY?
290
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,044
HOLDING WHAT?
JUST WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
291
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,503
DOOM FACTORY.
292
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,089
[ GASPS ]
NO, NO, HE'S BUSY.
293
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,384
[ GASPING, BREATHING HEAVILY ]
294
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,261
AAH!
295
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,806
[ GROANS, SIGHS HEAVILY ]
296
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,308
OOH.
AAH!
297
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,852
HI. YOU MUST BE RUSTY.
298
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:47,271
BROCK! COME IN, BROCK!
CODE GRE...AW, DAMN IT.
299
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,316
WOW, IT'S -- IT'S SO GREAT
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
300
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,193
YOU'RE REALLY SUCH A BEAUTY.
301
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:54,362
PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME.
302
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:57,323
MM, YOU'RE THE BOSS,
APPLESAUCE.
303
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,745
♪♪
304
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,080
SO...
305
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,040
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO...DO?
306
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,291
OH, JUST, UM...
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
307
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,710
YOU KNOW, BE YOURSELF.
308
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,045
THAT'S KINDA HARD TO.
309
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,589
I MEAN, BEING MYSELF WOULD BE
RUNNING OUT OF HERE SCREAMING
310
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,634
AND MOST LIKELY CALLING
MY BODYGUARD TO BEAT YOU UP,
311
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,302
SO...
[ Lowered voice ] UM,
312
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,639
ASK HIM IF HE CAN, UH...
TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF.
313
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:25,101
UH, THAT'S GREAT, DOC.
NOW CAN YOU TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF?
314
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,269
IT'S, UH, IT'S A ONESIE.
315
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,604
YEAH, THAT'S FINE, GO AHEAD.
316
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:32,191
[ SIGHS HEAVILY ]
WEIRDEST...ARCHING...EVER.
317
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:35,444
[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING ]
318
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,155
HEY, WHOA, WHOA. CRACK A WINDOW
THERE, MARLBORO MAN.
319
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,782
THAT THING STINKS.
320
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,117
SO'S YOUR AXE BODY SPRAY.
321
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,619
YOU WANT AIR,
I CAN POP THE EJECTOR SEAT.
322
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,663
♪♪
323
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:48,791
HEY, UH, SO YOU, LIKE, UH,
WORK FOR THE O.S.I., RIGHT?
324
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,209
[ SIGHS ] YEAH.
325
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:53,712
SO WHAT'D THEY, LIKE, FREEZE YOU
IN 1979 AND JUST WAKE YOU UP?
326
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,507
OR ARE YOU, LIKE, PART OF SOME
TIME TRAVEL THING?
327
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,342
I MEAN THE CAR, THE CLOTHES,
THE MUSIC,
328
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,302
THIS TENNESSEE TOP HAT.
329
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,971
[ BRAKES SCREECH ]
HEY!
330
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,348
DO NOT TOUCH THE HAIR.
331
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,143
WELL, I USED TO HAVE A BLOG
AND STUFF,
332
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,687
BUT MY FRIENDS THOUGHT
IT WAS STUPID.
333
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,189
BUT, LIKE, PFFT, WHATEVER.
LIKE THEY'RE SO COOL.
334
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,316
I THINK YOUR FRIENDS ARE
THE STUPID ONES.
335
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,985
I BET YOU WERE
AN AWESOME BLOGGERESS.
336
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,446
BLOGGERESS, YEAH. WHAT'S UP WITH
THE SERVICE IN THIS JOINT?
337
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,989
WHERE'S OUR WAITER ALREADY?
338
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,283
HAI!
339
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,283
OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU [BLEEP]
KIDDING ME?!
340
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:25,035
COOL!
WELCOME TO YUMI. CHI-AY!
341
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,495
START YOU WITH A BEVERAGE?
342
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,165
YOU OFFENDED MY FAMILY
AND MY TEMPLE. FIGHT ME, NINJA!
343
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,333
NINJA KICK!
NINJA BLOCK!
344
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,253
DUDE, TABLE THREE WANTS
THEIR CHECK. HIYA!
345
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,504
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?
346
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,340
MAY I RECOMMEND
THE VIRGIN DEADLY COLADA?
347
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,385
IT COMES WITH
A RUBBER THROWING STAR.
348
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,013
SOLD!
[ CHUCKLES ] AND FOR...
349
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,973
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
THE LADY?
350
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,558
HI, JARED.
351
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:50,394
YEAH. SO... [ SIGHS ]
HI, SIRENA.
352
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,855
WAIT YOU --
YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
353
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,190
WE USED TO DATE.
354
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,567
EXCUSE ME? UM, I THINK "DATE"
IS A LITTLE INACCURATE.
355
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:57,902
REALLY? SO WHAT WAS IT THEN?
356
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,612
JUST MESSING AROUND?
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
357
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,071
ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?
358
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,532
PLEASE JUST GET ME A FUCKING
NINJA ALE, STALKER BOY, OKAY?
359
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,783
I DON'T NEED THIS DRAMA.
360
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:10,331
CHI! I'LL...GET YOU
THOSE DRINKS, NOW.
361
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,876
[ GRUNTS ]
THE STINK OF THIS PLACE.
362
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,544
HOW MUCH FURTHER IS IT?!
363
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,379
IT SHOULD BE RIGHT AROUND
THIS NEXT BEND.
364
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,507
HEY, DON'T LET ANY OF THAT SPRAY
GET IN YOUR MOUTH.
365
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,258
IT'S GOT GO--
AAH!
366
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,802
UGH! [ SPITS ]
367
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,387
IT WENT IN MY MOUTH.
[ SPITS ]
368
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,057
DEAD DOLPHIN JUICE
IN MY MOUTH.
369
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,060
DUDE, THAT IS, LIKE, THE LEAST
HORRIBLE THING IN THIS WATER.
370
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,394
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU!
371
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,396
OH, GOD. OH, GOD! TELL ME!
WHAT IS IN HERE?!
372
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,900
AM I ABOUT TO GET PIRANHA'd
TO DEATH?
373
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,904
♪♪
374
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,739
[ CLANK ]
375
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,825
[ WINDOW POPS ]
376
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,913
[ WATER DRIPPING ]
377
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,082
AAH!
378
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,124
[ GRUNTING ]
379
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,418
AAH! OW! FUCK.
380
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,711
[ GROANS ]
LOOKS LIKE NO ONE'S HERE.
381
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,297
EXACTLY. WHILE WES BORE-HAMMER
AND HIS DOOM DICKERY
382
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,757
ARE OFF ARCHING VENTURE,
383
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,679
THE BLUE MORPHO AND KANO
ARE FREE TO FUCK UP HIS LAIR!
384
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,847
AND WITH NO LAIR,
HIS GUILD RANK GOES DOWN,
385
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,975
I GET TO CROSS HIM OFF
MY LIST,
386
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,978
AND WITTLE #21
DON'T HAVE TO KILL NO ONE.
387
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,605
OH, YEAH, THANKS FOR TAKING
MY FEELINGS INTO CONSIDERATION.
388
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,148
SO HOW'S
THE BRILLIANT BLUE MORPHO PLAN
389
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,568
TO DO ALL THAT?
390
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,568
SAME WAY I DO
EVERYTHING AMAZING --
391
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,654
BY BLOWING MY INHERITANCE.
392
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,447
MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
393
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,241
OR HOW ABOUT IF I...
[ CHUCKLES ]
394
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:30,494
SOMETHING LIKE THAT MAYBE?
MORE COME-HITHER KITTENISH?
395
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,205
I DEFER TO YOUR GENIUS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
396
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,874
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, WES?
397
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,459
UH, WES?
398
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,587
OH, WES ISN'T HERE.
HE TOOK OFF.
399
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,589
WHAT -- ISN'T HE DIRECTING
THIS THING?
400
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,799
Man:
♪ HE HAD A CAT ON HER FACE ♪
401
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:47,303
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY NEAT.
402
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,929
[ ART ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
403
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:52,141
♪ COMING DOWN FOR FREEBASE ♪
404
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,602
♪♪
405
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,813
♪ YOU ARE MY DRUG HUNCH,
MY LITTLE... ♪
406
00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:00,482
ALL RIGHT. YES. MM-HMM!
OH. HEY, HELLO AGAIN.
407
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:05,487
HAVE EITHER OF YOU SEEN WES?
408
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:05,487
OH, WOW, MAN. YEAH!
409
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,072
♪♪
410
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,159
AH, WES. [ CHUCKLES ]
THERE'S THE GENIUS.
411
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,452
HA, HA.
412
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,538
SO, UH, WHAT, ARE WE TAKIN' FIVE
HERE, OR, UH...
413
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,541
Man: WES! HI!
OH. HI...
414
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,834
WAIT. WAIT.
415
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:21,545
HE'S ALREADY MOVED ON, DARLING.
YOU'RE OLD NEWS.
416
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,047
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
417
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,882
WE WERE JUST MAKING
A MOVIE TOGETHER.
418
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,882
OHH.
419
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,968
DID HE TELL YOU'RE A BEAUTY?
THAT YOU'RE HIS NEW MUSE?
420
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,803
THAT'S WHAT HE TELLS
ALL HIS MARKS.
421
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,680
♪ YOU ARE MY DRUG... ♪
IS THAT MY...
422
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,515
WHERE ARE THEY GOING
WITH MY SCIENCE THINGS?
423
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,726
THEY'RE STEALING THEM, HONEY!
424
00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:38,479
YOU'RE BEING ARCHED.
REMEMBER?
425
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:41,398
I'M -- I'M...SO CONFUSED.
426
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:44,401
HERE. YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE A HANK.
427
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,861
[ WHOOSH ]
428
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:48,238
JEEZ, YOU'RE A MESS. WHEN DID
WE START DOING FAKE BLOOD?
429
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,865
EH, IT'S TERIYAKI.
430
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:52,910
THE BIRTHDAY BOY AT TABLE FIVE'S
GOT A NERVOUS TUMMY.
431
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,536
NINJAS.
432
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,372
[ BEEP ]
WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE NINJAS?
433
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,748
THIS FAR SOUTH OF ST. MARK'S?
434
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,583
EH, WIDE WALE'S GONNA BE
PRETTY P.O.'d
435
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,169
THERE'S AN UNSANCTIONED HIVE
ON HIS TURF.
436
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,046
I SAY WE ROLL IN BLASTING.
437
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,215
WITH WHAT?
438
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,215
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WITH
THAT HEATER ON YOUR SHOULDER.
439
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,508
WHAT IS THIS, YOUR FIRST DAY?
440
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:10,386
NOT AN OPTION. I DON'T, UH...
IT'S NOT...
441
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,430
AH. NOT LOADED, IS IT?
442
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,182
THAT'S, UH, CLASSIFIED.
443
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:18,435
WE HAD A GUY LIKE YOU
IN MY UNIT IN AFGHANISTAN.
444
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,646
YOU KNOW, THERE IS A BOOK
YOU SHOULD READ.
445
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,231
IT'S CALLED
"BLOOD ON MY HANDS."
446
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,108
JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD,
JERSEY SHORE.
447
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,359
OH, COME ON.
448
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:28,028
SO YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST
GOOD GUY I DATED. GET OVER IT.
449
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,738
I MEAN, DOES IT REALLY
BOTHER YOU?
450
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,740
HONESTLY?
WHAT BOTHERS ME IS...
451
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,826
I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT MAYBE
YOU'RE JUST USING ME
452
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,411
TO GET YOUR DAD PISSED.
THERE I SAID IT.
453
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,995
WHOA. BLUNT.
454
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,416
UM, I MEAN, IS IT SO WEIRD
THAT I MIGHT LIKE YOU?
455
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:44,128
NOBODY EVER MADE THEIR FRIENDS
PUT ON WEIRD LITTLE SKITS
456
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,421
TO IMPRESS ME BEFORE.
457
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,922
WHAT? THAT'S -- I DIDN'T --
458
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:49,925
FOUR DIFFERENT ALBINOS
HELD US UP,
459
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:53,137
LOST A FUCKING CAT IN A TREE,
AND TOOK OUR PICTURES OUTSIDE.
460
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,764
A-ALBINOS MAY, IN FACT,
HAVE DEEP PACK INSTINCTS.
461
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,517
THAT'S SCIENTIFICALLY,
EH, PLAUSIBLE.
462
00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,893
IT'S CUTE.
463
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,729
I MEAN, I'M USED TO GUYS
JUST WANTING TO GET ME DRUNK
464
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,772
AND THEN MESS AROUND.
I DON'T BELIEVE IN DOING THAT.
465
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,733
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
466
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,527
WELL, I BELIEVE IN THE SOUL,
THE HANGIN' CURVE BALL,
467
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:09,778
PRETZEL RODS, NOT TWISTS,
468
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,780
THE POWDERY SMELL
OF GIRLS' DEODORANT,
469
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,866
THAT PETS TALK TO EACH OTHER
WHEN WE'RE NOT LISTENING.
470
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,285
I BELIEVE THAT LEE HARVEY OSWALD
ACTED WITH CLONES.
471
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,996
I BELIEVE IN THE SWEET SPOT,
MAGIC INVISIBLE GNOMES,
472
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,790
THAT CEREAL IS NOT JUST
FOR BREAKFAST, BUT FOR ANY MEAL.
473
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:25,586
AND I BELIEVE IN LONG, SLOW,
DEEP, SOFT, WET KISSES
474
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,212
THAT LAST THREE DAYS --
475
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,923
STOPPING ONLY TO GO TO
THE BATHROOM, UH, OBVIOUSLY.
476
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,175
[ CHUCKLES ]
477
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,010
YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY?
478
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,096
SISTER,
YOU HAD ME AT "CRAZY."
479
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,973
[ TAPE RIPPING ]
480
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,476
AH. ARE YOU DONE YET?
I WANNA GET HOME AND SHOWER.
481
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,644
AAH! MY SKIN IS ON FIRE!
482
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,813
UGH! YOU -- YOU NEED, LIKE,
10 SHOWERS.
483
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,524
AND PROBABLY AN AGGRESSIVE
COURSE OF ANTIBIOTICS.
484
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,817
LET'S GET THE HELL
OUTTA HERE.
485
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,695
RACE YA.
486
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,695
DUDE, DON'T SCREW AROUND
WITH THAT!
487
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:52,988
COME ON.
IT'LL LOOK ALL BADASS
488
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,907
IF WE JUMP OUT
RIGHT WHEN IT EXPLODES.
489
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,617
OH, WITH THE FLAMES
ALL BEHIND US!
490
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,786
TO WHO?!
THERE'S NOBODY HERE!
491
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,370
WE'LL KNOW HOW COOL WE WERE.
492
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,831
[ BUTTON CLICKS ]
SON OF A --
493
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:05,918
AH!
494
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,339
[ GRUNTS, SHOUTING ]
495
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,716
AAH! AAH!
496
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,760
[ GRUNTING ]
497
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,720
[ BOMBS HISS ]
498
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,389
HEY, WHAT GIVES?
WHERE'S MY BIG BOOM?
499
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,518
HUH? MUST'VE BEEN DUDS.
HOW OLD ARE THOSE THINGS?
500
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,520
[ RUMBLING ]
AAH! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!
501
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,021
DUDE, I DON'T KNOW!
502
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,356
DUDE!
DUDE!
503
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,191
DUDE!
DUDE!
504
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,361
DUDE!
505
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,904
UHH! AAH! WHAT THE FUKIYA?
506
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,781
PULL YOUR PUNCHES, GLENN!
507
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,574
WHERE ARE THE KIDS,
NINJA SCUM?!
508
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,867
WHOA! IS THAT A REAL KNIFE?
509
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,536
DUDE, YOU GUYS ARE
WAY OFF SCRIPT -- WHOA!
510
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,870
WRONG ANSWER!
UHH! [ GASPS ]
511
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,914
Man: BACK OFF, TALL, DARK,
AND LOATHSOME!
512
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:47,584
THIS NINJA-THEMED FAMILY
RESTAURANT IS PROTECTED BY...
513
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,086
THE BROWN WIDOW!
514
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:52,381
WAIT. FAMILY WHAT, NOW?
515
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:52,381
WHOA, WHOA. IT'S A NINJA TRICK.
516
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,716
THEY'RE MASTERS OF DECEPTION.
[ Whispers ] DO NOT FALL FOR IT.
517
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,218
JARED? YOU'RE THE BROWN WIDOW?
518
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,429
WHOA. I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST
A STRUGGLING ACTOR LIKE ME.
519
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,431
I'M BOTH, JUSTIN.
520
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,100
AND I'M SORRY,
521
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,935
BUT ONE IMPROV CLASS DOES NOT
MAKE YOU AN ACTOR, SIR.
522
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,938
HANK VENTURE AND SIRENA ONG --
WHERE ARE THEY?!
523
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,274
YOU MUST BE BROCK.
DEAN'S TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU.
524
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,568
DON'T WORRY.
THE LOVEBIRDS ARE RIGHT HERE.
525
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,028
EH -- SON OF A DITCH!
526
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,488
[ CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING ]
527
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,031
UGH! UHH!
528
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,158
[ WHIMPERS ]
529
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,158
DEAN? WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?
530
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:23,495
I WAS --
531
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:23,495
NEVER MIND. GO WAIT IN THE CAR.
532
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,332
WHY DIDN'T WE GET
TO BE NINJAS?
533
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,459
♪♪
534
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,545
[ SPITS ] AHH.
535
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,796
OH, I NEEDED THAT.
536
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,465
UH, SHOULD WE BE
DOING THIS?
537
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:36,967
NO. THAT'S WHY IT'S FUN!
538
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,303
AND MY SKIN'S GOTTA GET WET
EVERY SIX HOURS.
539
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,263
THAT'S PART OF MY,
YOU KNOW, CONDITION.
540
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,932
ARE YOUR LEGS A BIG FISH TAIL
UNDER THERE NOW?
541
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,101
[ CHUCKLES ] I'M NOT
A FRIGGIN' MERMAID, HANK.
542
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:49,479
SO WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR,
BOY ADVENTURER?
543
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,983
YOU GONNA JUST STAND THERE
OR YOU GONNA DIVE IN?
544
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,445
[ SIGHS ] WHELP, YOU'RE
IN DEEP NOW, HENRY ALLEN.
545
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,447
AY-YUP!
546
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,116
WHOA! WHOA, COLD! NO!
547
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,452
SIRENA!
548
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,452
OH, GOD! OH, THAT'S SO COLD!
WHY DIDN'T YOU --
549
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,120
Rocco: WHERE ARE YOU, PRINCESS?
IS HE GETTING ROUGH WITH YOU?!
550
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,080
[ Whispers ] HANK, YOU'RE GONNA
GET US CAUGHT! SHUSH!
551
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,541
[ WHIMPERS ]
552
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,209
MMM.
553
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,547
♪♪
554
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,300
[ GRUNTING ] COME ON!
555
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,469
AAH! UHH!
556
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,555
[ WHIRRING ]
[ WHINES, GRUNTS ] AAH!
557
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:27,142
♪♪
558
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:29,811
Dr. Venture: SO ALL THIS --
THE SILVER LIVING ROOM,
559
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,980
THE PARTY,
THE SCREEN TEST --
560
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,317
IT WAS ALL JUST TO DISTRACT ME
WHILE YOU STOLE MY INVENTIONS?
561
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,194
UM...YEAH.
562
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:39,154
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
AND NOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA GO?
563
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,948
YOU'RE LEAVING ME
WITH NOTHING?
564
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,659
UM, NO. SOMEONE GAVE ME
THIS COMMUNICATOR WATCH.
565
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,911
UH, I-I THINK IT WAS EENIE.
566
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,663
YEAH, YEAH, IT WAS EENIE.
AND...
567
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,040
AND SHE SAID I COULD TALK
TO GOD WITH IT,
568
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,835
BUT...I-I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO SAY.
569
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,880
HERE, N-NOW YOU CAN
TALK TO GOD.
570
00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:00,259
WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS MY WATCH.
YOU JUST SPRAY-PAINTED IT GOLD.
571
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:03,720
THAT EENIE'S A LITTLE THIEF,
IS WHAT SHE IS. YOU ALL ARE!
572
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,682
UM...YEAH.
573
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,976
[ STAIRS CLINKING ]
574
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,728
[ SPACESHIP WHIRRING ]
575
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,855
Monarch: [ GRUNTS ] AAH!
576
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,566
UHH!
HUH? YOU AGAIN.
577
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,403
AHEM. GOOD EVENING, CITIZEN.
578
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,864
[ CLICK, EXPLOSION ]
579
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,867
TELL ME THAT DIDN'T
LOOK AWESOME!
580
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,538
FIREWORKS.
581
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:33,166
♪♪
582
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,235
[ GROANS ] UHH!
583
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:01,570
HUH, WHAT THE...
584
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:02,654
SON OF A BITCH!
585
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,073
[ GROANS ] AH.
586
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,826
OH, MY GOD, HONEY!
A-ARE YOU OKAY?
587
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:09,411
W-WHAT HAPPENED?
588
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,495
BLUE MORPHO!
589
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,831
THAT FUCKER WAS HERE
IN OUR BEDROOM!
590
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,458
THE GUY FROM YOUR POSTER?
591
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:15,917
OH, MY GOD, SWEETNESS,
YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE.
592
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:15,917
[ BEEP ]
593
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,628
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
HE...
594
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:20,756
YOU WERE RIGHT...
UH, COUNCILWOMAN.
595
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,174
HE STRUCK AGAIN.
596
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:24,384
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO STOP HIM?
597
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:28,972
...YEAH, SO...