1 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:13,096 ♪♪ 2 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,889 Why aren't you guys in costume? 3 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,183 Uh, because we're having a secret sit-down 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,727 in a public place, maybe? 5 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,354 I thought we were going for intimidating villainy, 6 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,564 so I got all -- 7 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:25,150 All right. I'll go change. 8 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,944 Oh, I ordered the stuffed peppers, so save me one. 9 00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:31,448 She didn't exist until she was 25. 10 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,992 Her name -- Teresa Didae. 11 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,828 Her friends would call her Terri if she had any. 12 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:40,373 Let's say say that Teresa has too many dark secret 13 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,500 to have friends to call her Terri. 14 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,170 It's because she killed her husbands, isn't it? 15 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,463 All of them. 16 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,965 She walks into their life as Miss Perfect, 17 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,800 treats them like gods. 18 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:54,012 Then she gets a ring and they get a closed-coffin funeral. 19 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:58,141 That's fine. Now go back to the "treats them like gods" part. 20 00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,727 She's mastered the art of seduction -- 21 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,646 finds a rich man and gives him the works. 22 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,441 Oh! What's "the works"? Specifically. 23 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,985 Like, uh, say no orifice is off limits? 24 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,403 Or are we on different pages here? 25 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,656 Different pages here. I'm on the obituaries. 26 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,575 You're on, like, the Penthouse Forum. 27 00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:19,329 So you found me the perfect black widow. 28 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,956 Well, I just need her web address so I can, uh... 29 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,208 Oh! [ Chuckles ] 30 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,502 My God, "web address" and she's a black widow. 31 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,588 You get it? 32 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,588 There's nothing to get but killed. 33 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:31,466 She'll love you and leave you -- dead. 34 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,468 I hope you can stop her. 35 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,886 What? [ Chuckles ] 36 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,513 I'm not gonna stop her. 37 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,890 I'm gonna ask her out. 38 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:43,520 ♪♪ 39 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:46,189 Mmm. That's interesting. 40 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,191 Where're all the bad guys at? 41 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,484 I can't see any. 42 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,278 Can someone point out the supervillains? 43 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,864 Blind Rage. Please, have a seat. 44 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,407 Don't. I see perfectly. 45 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,035 With my radar, I know where the big guy is seated, 46 00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:00,703 how much wine is in that glass, 47 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,623 and that your breasts are spilling from your brassiere. 48 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,792 Is it your monthlies? Oh, I'm just kidding. 49 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,544 I'd be able to smell it if you were. 50 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:08,878 Heightened senses. 51 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,632 So, how's the council of, uh...what is it? Five? 52 00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,926 Guild Council is doing fine, thank you. 53 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,469 Let's stop pretending we like each other 54 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,054 and just get this over with. 55 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:21,766 Fine. The Peril Partnership had a little deal with the Whale, 56 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,228 and we haven't been seeing any of our kickbacks. 57 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,730 So we are not happy. -Your deal with Wide Wale 58 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,066 is not a deal with The Guild of Calamitous Intent. 59 00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:32,777 If you'd care to make an offer to us, we're listening. 60 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,864 You pay us to pretend to be scared of you has-beens 61 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,448 and keep out of your territory. 62 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:40,076 If you don't, the Partners drop a shitstorm 63 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,621 of costumed villainy on your doorstep. 64 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,081 I'll extend your offer to the Guild. 65 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,499 We're done here. 66 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,418 On your way out, take some of those free mints. 67 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,752 Your breath is appalling. 68 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,255 Okay, but when the Guild gets blamed for it, 69 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,007 don't come crawling to me. 70 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:57,927 Unless you want a night that you're never gonna forget. 71 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:58,928 [ Growls ] 72 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,514 Red, it's not worth it. 73 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,392 Hey, you kicked ass on those stuffed peppers, boss. 74 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,352 Delish! 75 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,897 Was that him? 76 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,440 What did I miss? -Everything. 77 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,234 I'm calling a Council meeting. Do you want to cater it? 78 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,944 I had nothing to change into. 79 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,988 Z: That's it? 80 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,448 We pay them off and look like 81 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,367 we are afraid of their bluster and short pants? 82 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,702 Why make a thing of it? 83 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:23,870 It's pocket change. 84 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:24,996 It's a mistake. 85 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,081 This is just the beginning with them. 86 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,625 It's the end. We've voted, 87 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,793 and the Peril Partnership gets their money to go away. 88 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,422 Solved. 89 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,422 I'll make the drop. It's on my way home. 90 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,299 Good. Next business. 91 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:40,887 Okay, since we can't find 13 members for the Council of 13, 92 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,472 I've gone back to the original charter, 93 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,682 and I found this. Okay, I'm quoting. 94 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,644 "The Council, constituting the superannuated, 95 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,811 thus appointed, 96 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,356 are reborn as the governing body." 97 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,569 Okay, I'll be your huckleberry. What does that mean? 98 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,364 I think what she's saying is we're super awesome. 99 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:02,158 I didn't hear no talk about no 13 anything. 100 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,493 Well, there isn't any. 101 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,828 The 13 was the Sovereign's little flourish. 102 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,997 But it does mean that all of us 103 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,667 can no longer be active villains. 104 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,335 So we're good guys now? 105 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,587 Ooh, may I be Captain Handsome? 106 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,298 Watch and Ward are handing out your final arch. 107 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,258 Your last hurrah of sorts. 108 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,135 We really did our research here. 109 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,304 Satisfaction guaranteed. 110 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,264 There it is. Have fun. Get it out of your blood. 111 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,016 Enjoy yourselves. At our next meeting, 112 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:31,270 we retire as villains or resign from the Council. 113 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,730 Adjourned. 114 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,191 Dr. Venture: Oh, my God, she's perfect. 115 00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:38,277 Maybe she drops her hand-bra in the next one. 116 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,197 We can't see the other pictures unless she's a friend. 117 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,533 Friend her! Wait, romance her. 118 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,785 Is there an "add romance" or a wink? 119 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,412 Can we wink and then bow? 120 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,163 Perhaps we should send her a flower made of punctuation. 121 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,748 Too desperate, too stupid. 122 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,542 Just wait till she answers your message. 123 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,545 Ugh. You really are serious about this, aren't you? 124 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,005 What are you thinking? 125 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,048 That I haven't been with a woman since Hank's graduation? 126 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,842 -Gross. -You don't know the half of it. 127 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,219 Well then, go out there and find a real woman 128 00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:05,013 that won't kill you and take your money. 129 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:09,350 Brock, this is a woman that seduces rich men for a living. 130 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,979 Oh, think about how amazing that woman is in bed. 131 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,230 Ugh, gross. 132 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,314 Not gross! 133 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,941 I'm a man. I need to be touched. 134 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,901 I would like to be touched by an amazing-looking woman 135 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,236 who wants only to please me. 136 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,238 I don't want to be laughed at, denied, 137 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:26,075 or even feel like the pathetic man I clearly am! 138 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,494 He does make some solid points, Brock. 139 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,122 Okay, let's, uh, figure this out. 140 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,415 [ Computer chimes ] 141 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:36,085 Gentlemen, the spider has taken the fly. 142 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,255 Monarch: Mad? Why would I be mad? 143 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,257 Because you'll never be my #2 again? 144 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:42,884 Or that you made this decision without me 145 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,261 and just dropped it in my lap like a hot, stupid idea? 146 00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:48,890 Mad? That's crazy! I'm so happy for you. 147 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:52,435 This is my career, sweetie. This is what it requires. 148 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,729 Do you want me to quit? Join you and Gary? 149 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,856 I want it to be like it was 20 minutes ago, 150 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:59,275 before you did this! -Yeah, well... 151 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:00,610 That's not gonna happen. 152 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,154 -This -- This -- No! -Sweetie, come on. 153 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,239 -No! No. -We can work through it. 154 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,783 ♪♪ 155 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,743 You know, he's not gonna commit suicide or anything. 156 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,369 What? Why would you even say that? 157 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,414 Oh, he wouldn't. He wouldn't go out and cheat on you or drink -- 158 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,874 Gary, stop whatever that is. 159 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,959 You're making it worse. -I was comforting you. 160 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,003 All right, fine. Next topic. 161 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,672 So, who's your final arch? -Here, you read it. 162 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:25,843 Uh, if you have to arch Venture, he's gonna go mental. 163 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,136 Just saying. 164 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,638 "Dr. Mrs. The Monarch. 165 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:32,600 It was as Lady Au Pair when you had your most humbling defeat. 166 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,353 You were inches away from possessing the..." 167 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,439 Faith Diamond, 52.8 carets, 168 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:42,360 worth an estimated $300 million. 169 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,821 And it's all ours. [ Pop! ] 170 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,698 Will you stop opening the cash bags? 171 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:51,119 What? We would never take any money for ourselves, mum. 172 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,662 That ain't right! 173 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:53,830 Accusing us? 174 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,165 Ri-damn-diculous. 175 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,460 ♪♪ 176 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,004 Don't say "I do" so quickly. 177 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,256 Novia! 178 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,925 Funny, I don't remember getting your RSVP. 179 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:09,178 Lady Au Pair and her two moppets. 180 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,140 Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. 181 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,225 I'm more of a career girl. 182 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:18,521 Well, then I guess you won't want to catch my bouquet! 183 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,690 ♪♪ 184 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,191 Phantom Limb: Oh, you heard about it? 185 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,529 Yes, all of our old archrivals. 186 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:30,491 Who do you think? It's you. 187 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:34,162 Wait! No, no, that's exactly what we should do! 188 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,539 I know you were kidding, but I'm not. 189 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:40,418 Old-school, that's right! Like men. 190 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:44,922 Midnight, Central Park Bow Bridge. 191 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,258 Oh, I'll be there. 192 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,594 Wide Wale: Ha! You got to be kiddin' me. 193 00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:51,888 [ Chuckles ] Those two set the Wayback Machine 194 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,724 all the way back to when I started out. 195 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,184 So, who's the unlucky good guy? 196 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,936 Curtis Sliwa of the Guardian Angels. 197 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,480 Sliwa? We made peace with that guy a long time ago. 198 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,608 He's part of my friggin' Thursday night poker game even. 199 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:04,817 No, he's good people. 200 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,736 But he's got to take a fall on your fists. 201 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,905 I don't need him doin' that karate shit on me. 202 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,282 -Ah, you serious? -Of course I'm serious! 203 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,618 Go slap Sliwa around, and then, uh... 204 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:15,411 take him to Keens for some chops. 205 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,413 What's wrong with you? Get out of here! 206 00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,790 Z: Okay... [ Clears throat ] 207 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:24,003 "Doctor Z, we have only one word for you. 208 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,339 That word is 'Johnny.'" 209 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,674 [ Chuckles ] 210 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:34,180 Of course it is. Good times, good times. 211 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,265 You will never escape, Johnny! 212 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,351 [ Dog barking ] 213 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,436 It's Buddy! He followed us! 214 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:43,105 Silence the animal! 215 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,857 Don't you shoot at my dog. 216 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:45,900 Hold it, Johnny. 217 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:49,153 ♪♪ 218 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,823 Stupid dog is interfering with my spectacular plans! 219 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,868 Look, it is Anubis. The god himself. 220 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,912 And he is displeased! 221 00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,206 No, no, you fools! Come back! 222 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,874 It's the dog stuck in a mask. 223 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,376 How idiotic can you be? 224 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:04,627 Gosh, mister. 225 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,420 Your henchmen are terrible at their job. 226 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,881 I know, right? They're bunglers! 227 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,675 And they will be executed! 228 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,802 Hard line. One bungle, you're out. 229 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:13,970 Zero-bungle tolerance. 230 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,597 Right Wing: Well, you gonna read it? 231 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,935 Radical Left: Oh, as if you don't know already who it's gonna be. 232 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:24,021 Oh, look who they chose for Radical Left. 233 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,481 It's Right Wing. 234 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,942 Mm-hmm, real shocker there. 235 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,487 Looks like I'm gonna have to vanquish you again. 236 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:35,283 Oh, take your best shot! This time, don't absorb me. 237 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,409 Again. 238 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:39,745 Dragoon: Go on, then. How bad could it be? 239 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,497 Red Mantle: What if it's Commander Ruin? 240 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,834 He punched me in the tummy once and I vomited on his boots. 241 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,796 Instantly coughed up a Ruben sandwich on his boots. 242 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,089 He never forgave me. 243 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,925 I'm hoping it's the guy from "Home Improvement." 244 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,303 Not the main guy, but -- but the handyman. 245 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,680 Uh...Al. I hope it's Al. 246 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,724 Did you arch the "Home Improvement" guy? 247 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:03,185 I did not. But I hope it's him because he would never hurt us. 248 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,938 He wouldn't. He seems n-nice. 249 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,442 Maybe it would be prudent to wait till after dinner? 250 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,778 Dinner and another episode of "Downton Abbey." 251 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,950 ♪♪ 252 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:22,788 [ Growls ] 253 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:26,709 Oh, here comes the 70-year-old errand boy. 254 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:27,960 Listen to those steps. 255 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,337 Hey, you got to slow down 256 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:32,882 or you're gonna bust a hip there, old man. 257 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,467 Better all be there or -- 258 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,551 Oof! 259 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,892 Radical Left: The simplest murder ever committed. 260 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,228 Almost too easy. 261 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:51,400 Professor Plum in the ballroom with the candlestick! 262 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,361 Oh, you got lucky! 263 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,612 Best out of five. 264 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,405 Set up the board again. 265 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,573 [ Elevator dings ] 266 00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,075 Okay, we are on. 267 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,534 Let's move, people! 268 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:03,704 [ Clears throat ] 269 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,498 [ Breathy ] Oh, Mr. Venture. 270 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,666 So nice to meet you. 271 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,461 I lean in for the kiss but don't because...? 272 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,130 Vial of hydrofluoric acid between teeth and gums. 273 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,591 Death occurs within 18 hours. Keep moving! 274 00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:19,178 Right, so I don't take her hand because of a concealed blade? 275 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,764 Or a false fingernail filled with batrachotoxin. 276 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:26,894 Right. Then I immediately offer her a dip in the hot tub. 277 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,313 Care for a dip in my hot tub? 278 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,941 No way to conceal weapons, water dilutes poison, 279 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,652 plus I get to see the goods as a bonus. 280 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:38,739 Oh, Mr. Venture. It's so chilly out. 281 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,117 Let's just sit down and chat. 282 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,538 Okay. Now I lead her to the couch. 283 00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,998 Okay, I come in here and go, "Gee, Pop, 284 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,418 can you sign this last will and testament? 285 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,919 I've been asking for ages." 286 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,462 And I say something like, 287 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,257 "Oh, I'm so devil-may-care with my billions of dollars. 288 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,800 But don't worry, son. 289 00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:01,178 I have a huge life insurance policy, so you'll be fine. 290 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,181 Don't worry about the will." [ Chuckles ] 291 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,724 Ah, thank you. 292 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,310 You just ingested a lethal dose of tetrodotoxin 293 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,770 that I would've slipped into your drink. 294 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,021 Nice one, Dean. 295 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,357 All right, let's run it again, people! 296 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,485 [ Western showdown music playing ] 297 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:24,201 ♪♪ 298 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:32,001 ♪♪ 299 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:39,633 ♪♪ 300 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,677 We're really gonna go through with this? 301 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,680 It's the only way. 302 00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:49,518 ♪♪ 303 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,936 Drop 'em and measure! 304 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:54,440 Ah...Are we, uh, measuring from the top or...? 305 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,691 From the base. 306 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,110 Let's try to keep a little dignity. 307 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,489 [ Muffled shouting ] 308 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,782 Oh, you're up. Goody. 309 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,243 We can start your history lesson. 310 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,453 Long before there were 311 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,414 loud-mouthed buff guys in Spandex, 312 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,541 there was the Gentleman Villain. 313 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,377 His favorite sinister act was this -- 314 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,714 tying someone to a train track. 315 00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:22,176 It's simple, inexpensive, personal, and deadly. 316 00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:24,762 But it gives you a little hope. 317 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,180 Maybe you'll escape. 318 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,890 [ Muffled shouting ] 319 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:31,101 Lesson's not over, sonny! 320 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,728 [ Sighs ] 321 00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:37,441 Now, the Gentleman Villain had these old-school time bombs -- 322 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:40,528 three sticks of dynamite wired to an alarm clock. 323 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:44,740 And what was so poetic about that is that they ticked. 324 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:48,577 You could hear them. Tick, tick, tick. 325 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,828 Nowadays, they're just digital. 326 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,373 No sound, no peril. 327 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,917 Oh? Oh, ho, ho! 328 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,418 Do you hear that? 329 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,212 [ Train whistle blows ] There's the ticking. 330 00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,588 The train is coming. 331 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,215 Is it on this track? 332 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,092 Tick, tick, tick. 333 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,927 Maybe it's on the other track. 334 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,887 Tick, tick, tick! 335 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,765 [ Laughs evilly ] [ Muffled screaming ] 336 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,434 Not bad for an old man, huh? 337 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,437 I'm gonna get going and let you try to escape. 338 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,231 And if you do, tell the Peril Partnership 339 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,025 that the Guild isn't scared of punks. 340 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,945 If you don't? Eh, well...sorry. 341 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,780 [ Grunts ] 342 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:29,285 [ Laughs evilly ] 343 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,454 Receptionist: And what is the purpose of your visit? 344 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,833 Professional menace? Nothing complicated. 345 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:37,793 I'll probably just chase him around, 346 00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:40,754 unless you have a biplane or a werewolf costume 347 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,339 or something fun. 348 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:45,718 Mm-hmm. And what is your relation to John? 349 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,469 Why must you keep calling him "John"? 350 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,973 He is Johnny, the pesky son of my archenemy. 351 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:54,476 And since he is dead, Johnny is all I have. 352 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,562 Oh, well, we love John, too. 353 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,647 Unfortunately, it's not visiting hours. 354 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,817 If you'd like to write him a note, we could give it to him. 355 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,485 Uh, all right. 356 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:09,825 "I...will...get...you... Johnny." 357 00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:12,328 That is so sweet. 358 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,705 Oh, and you came all this way. 359 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,790 Why don't you wait over there. 360 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,294 I'll talk to his counselors and see what they can do. 361 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,338 Oh, you're very kind. 362 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,298 I will spare your life! 363 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,800 [ "Downton Abbey" theme music playing ] 364 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:30,888 Oh, Lady Violet, you are a delicious bitch, 365 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,890 and you have my heart. -Indeed. 366 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:36,518 I confess I have fantasized about double-teaming her. 367 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:40,189 As if we have any other option besides double-teaming her. 368 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,192 One more episode before we open the envelope? 369 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,027 I think it prudent. 370 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,696 No way Matthew is really dead. 371 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,865 [ Device beeping ] 372 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:51,367 Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: According to Guild Colossurveillance, 373 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,410 she should be around here somewhere. 374 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,162 Dude, that's where the Ventures live! 375 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,830 Your husband is gonna die. 376 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,124 Please, Gary, don't tell him. I don't want to deal. 377 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,709 He's going through so much right now. 378 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,711 Oh, my God, right? Seriously. 379 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,215 Everything I knew about myself has changed in, like, a year. 380 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,342 You know, screw it. I need to embrace change. 381 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,885 You want to cut off my ponytail? 382 00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:11,095 Not this, the real one. 383 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:14,056 Really? I so will. I hate that thing. 384 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,557 You look like... Steven Seagal. 385 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,893 Brad Pitt, tell me about -- or no, or that. 386 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,812 Not as much, though. -Oh, my God, that's her. 387 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,146 That's -- That's Novia. 388 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,898 Shit, she looks great. 389 00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,317 Um, let's not do this. 390 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,070 Follow me. 391 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,988 Excuse me! 392 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,074 Ma'am, were you Novia? 393 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,283 Tim-Tom? 394 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,912 Tim-Tom Moppet? You're...big now? 395 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,580 I didn't know that could happen. 396 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,249 Does that happen? -I didn't grow. 397 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,626 I'm not a moppet, biologically. I'm a henchman. 398 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,086 Or a sidekick now, but, you know, 399 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,796 not with Lady Au Pair, with her husband -- 400 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,090 -Sheila? -Ta-da. 401 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,592 So, Novia... Terri, I mean. 402 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,636 Wow! So... [ Chuckles ] 403 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,430 Wow. Uh, forget it. 404 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,848 Forget it, this is too weird. 405 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,266 My God... 406 00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,227 Sheila, uh...hi. 407 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,855 All right, I know this looks stupid, because it is. 408 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,398 It's, like, the dumbest thing in the world, 409 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,316 but I'm supposed to arch you tonight. 410 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,152 But now I can't because you look great 411 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,612 and I am dressed like a stupid nanny. 412 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,114 No, no, no. You look beautiful. 413 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,283 And my husband is home dealing with all this crap 414 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,034 I gave him tonight. -Oh, my goodness. 415 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,453 -I just sprung it on him. -No. 416 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,329 And I was just thinking about myself and now 417 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,291 I'm supposed to be arching you and you look really good 418 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,626 and you made so many better life decisions... 419 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,879 Z: So I talked to my wife 420 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,840 and, uh, she was fine with you moving in. 421 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,091 So was Ro-Boy. 422 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,593 [ Sighs ] Thanks, man. 423 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,470 [ Clears throat ] You're all right. 424 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,763 I love you, Johnny. 425 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,015 Yeah, no, uh, that's cool. 426 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:42,060 In the platonic sense, I mean. Not literally. 427 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,355 Not even platonically, really, since Plato was all about 428 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,316 showing naked young boys a good time. 429 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,109 You know, classical Greece. I... 430 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,361 It was totally cool back then... 431 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:56,867 Hey, maybe we shouldn't... rush into this kind of stuff. 432 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,327 Maybe you just, I don't know, 433 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,954 maybe loan me a couple bucks instead? 434 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,748 Y-Yes, yes. 435 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,959 Perhaps that would be better. 436 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,294 Hm, oh. 437 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,297 Oh! Thanks for the mask thing, man. 438 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,716 I mean... Oh, no, look! 439 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,134 Anubis! Ahh! 440 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:19,431 Oh! Oh, you can run, Johnny, but you will never get away! 441 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:23,018 Right? Yeah. We, uh... We did that. 442 00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,311 Yeah... 443 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,855 Good times. 444 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,191 Oh, you want me to go run and hide or something? 445 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,903 Oh, oh! Please do. Just one more time. 446 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,324 Oh, just do it already! We've lived long enough. 447 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,285 Yes. This is how we should go. 448 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,037 Go ahead. I'm ready. 449 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,623 "Red Mantle and Dragoon. 450 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,375 We regretfully inform you 451 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:51,880 that all of your archenemies are deceased." 452 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,173 We won! 453 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,051 We outlived all of those good guy pieces of crap. 454 00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:57,511 They couldn't best us! 455 00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,388 Boy, that guy from "Home Improvement" 456 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,139 really dodged a bullet tonight, eh? 457 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,935 I'm telling you, we so would've kicked Al's fat ass. 458 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,062 Dr. Venture: I still can't believe you agreed 459 00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,106 to come in the middle of the night. 460 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:12,985 [ Chuckles ] Wait. Is this a booty call? 461 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,070 This is a booty call, isn't it? 462 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,072 Uh, slow down. 463 00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:18,782 Wow, wow, wow, wow. 464 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,617 You are the most honest man I've ever met. 465 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,245 You're completely fearless. -Do you like it? 466 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,746 I have no idea what I'm doing. 467 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,875 I'm so hopped up on this atropine, theophylline, 468 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,543 and antivenom that Brock gave me. 469 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,752 Whoo. -Uh-huh. 470 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,504 And is Brock the man behind those bushes 471 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,881 with a rifle trained on me? 472 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,342 Hi, Brock! Yeah, he's my bodyguard. 473 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,177 And this is my body. 474 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,555 Well, it's a very nice body. 475 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,473 Hey, I want to ask you something 476 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,934 before all these pills I took make me pass out. 477 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,396 Do I have a chance here? 478 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:52,149 I don't know what people told you about me, 479 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,901 but I doubt it's true. 480 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,862 Well, I heard that 481 00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,532 you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. 482 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,618 Yeah, well, okay, that one might be true. 483 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,077 Tonight proved that. 484 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,538 Lots of skeletons in your clos-- 485 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,538 I ran into a... 486 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:11,960 well, an old friend, right out in fro-- 487 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,087 I didn't do that! 488 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,006 #21: It really wasn't so bad. 489 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:18,508 I mean, you didn't vomit till she was gone, 490 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,302 and she couldn't see you do it, at least. 491 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,762 Gary, I cried. 492 00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:24,556 Then my archnemesis hugged me. Hugged me. 493 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,141 Meanwhile, at Stately Wayne Manor, 494 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:27,476 my husband is home alone 495 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,062 wondering if our partnership is completely over. 496 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:33,315 A-And it just might be. -Well, when you put it that way. 497 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,316 You done back there? 498 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,109 Yep, and here it is -- 499 00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:38,779 your past, that smells like L.A. Looks. 500 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:41,114 I never got over the wet look. Guilty. 501 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,241 Oh, I got something else for you. 502 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,994 -What's this? -I lifted her wallet. 503 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,664 Little Miss Fancy got herself arched. 504 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,667 You are a baller! 505 00:20:51,750 --> 00:21:01,009 ♪♪ 506 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:10,352 ♪♪ 507 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:19,403 ♪♪ 508 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,698 Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: With perspicacious design and calamitous intent, 509 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,492 do you hereby resign your individual animus 510 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:28,996 and accept the collective odium of the Guild Council? 511 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:32,916 I do, and I look forward to hating with all of you. 512 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,085 Yeah, sure, man, we're ready! 513 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:37,004 Oh, dear, yes. Very much so. 514 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,464 With no reservations, I accept. 515 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,508 I regretfully decline. 516 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,885 I still got a lot of unresolved grudges. 517 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,387 And let's face it, all this? 518 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,805 This ain't me. 519 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:49,307 Of course. The Council understands your position. 520 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:52,310 Would you consider something like a diplomatic appointment? 521 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,730 I ain't going nowhere, Madam Councilwoman. 522 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,940 We'll talk. -Councilman Limb? 523 00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:59,818 It is my honor to become a full member 524 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:01,862 of this most worthy Council. 525 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:04,156 And I would like to add that last night, 526 00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,324 I was mighty in my victory. 527 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:09,161 Like an inch mightier. Seriously. 528 00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:10,871 This Council has my loyalty, 529 00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:14,541 and I swear I shall defend its honor with my life. 530 00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:18,462 And what say you, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch? 531 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:22,257 I-I...Uh, I... 532 00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,967 Madam Councilman?