1 00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,294 [ Suspenseful music plays ] 2 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,630 [ Electricity buzzes ] 3 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,966 [ Objects clatter ] 4 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,802 He could be anywhere, 5 00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:13,263 and he's under the protection of Agent Samson. 6 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,140 There will be causalities. 7 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,433 [ Thud ] 8 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,393 Move in helicoidal agony maneuver. 9 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,519 Teams of four. 10 00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:20,770 [ Gun clicks ] We don't stop 11 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,397 till we have Dr. Venture. 12 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,732 [ Door opens, guns cock ] 13 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,484 [ Yawns ] What's going on in here? 14 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,446 Huh... That was super easy. 15 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:30,447 [ Thud ] 16 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:35,910 ♪♪ 17 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,456 Dr. Venture. So good to see you again! 18 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,249 You look like a million dollars. 19 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:42,333 Trim. 20 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,877 Oh, so trim! What's your secret? 21 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,545 [ Chuckles ] I don't eat too many -- 22 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,130 Nope. Don't care. 23 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,884 What are you doing? Secure the extraction site. 24 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,761 I left a little team behind. 25 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,054 Oh-ho, did you? Left a little team? 26 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,098 Get back in line! You're all going! 27 00:00:57,182 --> 00:01:00,560 Nobody returns till Samson is secured. 28 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,646 [ Air hisses ] Oh, hello, you two. 29 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,566 Glad you decided to join us two hours late. 30 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,734 We took the shuttle. 31 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,611 Will you please use the teleporter? 32 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,695 We didn't steal it for nothing. 33 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,822 What happened to Phage was a fluke. 34 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,908 The teleporter is perfectly safe. 35 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:18,203 It was being used for tonight's blackout team operation. 36 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,579 What's this about Phage? 37 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,706 He's not tending to his llama farm? 38 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,125 I knew that llama farm thing was fake! 39 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,044 Llama bacon is ridiculous! 40 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,295 What happened to Phage?! 41 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:30,048 Llama meat has half the calories of pork! 42 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,299 Limb, come on. 43 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:34,177 Phage had a little teleporter mishap a while back. 44 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,970 It's nothing to worry about unless you guys 45 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,264 have, like, biomechanics or metal parts. 46 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,851 We were going to pierce our ear like Jimmy from "Road House." 47 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,854 The gentleman who beat everyone up with a pool cue! 48 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,690 You can still pierce your ear. Now can we move on, please? 49 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,150 Get into your robe. 50 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,861 The candidates are hoodwinked in the Ritual Space. 51 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,780 And don't muck this up, you guys. 52 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,616 This is a very important Tenning for me. 53 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,202 [ Wind howling ] 54 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:02,455 Hello? Hello?! 55 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,999 Hello, anyone? 56 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,836 ♪♪ 57 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:12,048 Ooh. Hello, um, dolls. 58 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:15,552 ♪♪ 59 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:19,597 Hank! Do not move! They've caught your scent. 60 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,768 Are you gonna like, do something, or...? 61 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,479 They can't see you if you stand perfectly still. 62 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,356 Do...not...move. 63 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,860 Dude, they're dolls. Why can't I just kick 'em over? 64 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,028 I don't know. I never thought of that. 65 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,822 I just tried the standing still thing. 66 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,366 They scare the crap out of me. 67 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:39,826 ♪♪ 68 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,745 Not at all scary. 69 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,081 That blue one, she's, like, in charge. 70 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,291 Admit it's unsettling. 71 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,458 It's just not. 72 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,711 Why are you on Hoth dressed as a Wookiee? 73 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,880 I'm Mark Hand The Catchman. 74 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,673 And this is the Ice of Wier. 75 00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,341 And, Hank... 76 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,426 we're dead. 77 00:02:56,509 --> 00:03:00,763 So, Heaven is "The Empire Strikes Back." 78 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,890 Nice. 79 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,890 No. 80 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,475 Purgatory is "Barbarella." 81 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:05,727 What is "Barbarella"? 82 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,145 What's Barba-- 83 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,189 It's only the greatest space fantasy movie probably ever. 84 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:14,193 Sir, again, you are thinking of "The Empire Strikes Back." 85 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,197 -What the hell happened? -[ Groans ] 86 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,866 He-- Hel-- 87 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,493 B-11-8, you okay? What happened? 88 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,829 Your. Wondpie. Bro. 89 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,414 Huh? 90 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:30,710 I said your windpipe broke. I'll fix that if you answer me. 91 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,545 So what is this crap, a Blackout team? 92 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,504 Just nod. 93 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,884 You got Doc, and you sent a few numb-nuts to keep me busy? 94 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,011 Insulting. How many of you are there? 95 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,971 [ Gurgles ] Oh, yeah, the throat. 96 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:46,893 Are there 5? 8? 10? 12? 15? 97 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,227 15, huh? Now we're talkin'. 98 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,522 Not you, obviously. I broke your windpipe. 99 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,565 Here. 100 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,525 [ Gasps ] 101 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,694 Keep your fingers out of that. 102 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,071 It'll get infected. 103 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:04,494 ♪♪ 104 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:10,458 ♪♪ 105 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:14,963 Theophanes the Confessor tells us of the Foederati, 106 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,341 the elite fighting force of barbarian mercenaries. 107 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:22,136 From their ranks came Saphrax Tervingian -- 108 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:26,724 the first man to turn a grudge into a career. 109 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,767 As Council Elder -- 110 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,227 Oh, by like a year. 111 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,353 You, stop it. 112 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,523 I welcome all of you to this ancient ritual, 113 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,733 the story of Saphrax. 114 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,360 All: The first villain. 115 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,946 And his loyal comrade, Altheaeus. 116 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,447 The first henchman. 117 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:46,035 Let Saphrax step into the light and declare his deeds. 118 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,455 I, The Monarch, have earned by might and rite 119 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,709 the honor and rank of a Level Ten Villain. 120 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,460 I am without fear. 121 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,962 I am Saphrax. 122 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,673 Let us begin the journey of Saphrax -- 123 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,300 the first trial. 124 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,638 When Saphrax was a boy, he lost his favorite stone 125 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,890 in the Log Of The Beast. 126 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,601 You must find his stone. 127 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,146 Yet the beast sleeps inside. 128 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,773 Disturb the beast, and his wrath will be quick! 129 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,150 Put -- Put my hand in there? 130 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,236 And retrieve the stone. Really? 131 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,655 This isn't, like, a thing, like, where I just spin the cart 132 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,032 and the stone shoots out 133 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,742 and you're all impressed with my cleverness? 134 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,076 You're not Matthew Broderick. 135 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,745 Just put your hand in there! 136 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,039 ♪♪ 137 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,665 Ach. It's really mushy. 138 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,875 All: The beast! 139 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,793 He lives in his waste. 140 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,545 His log has never been cleaned. 141 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,964 Do you have what it takes to find the stone?! 142 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,633 Chill out! I'm trying not to get bit! 143 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,093 Wha-- The beast doesn't bite. 144 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,928 What, do you think we'd have a vicious animal 145 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,221 up here in space? 146 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,015 He doesn't bite? What -- 147 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,100 What was all that talk about his wrath? 148 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,895 You're touching poop! It's pretty gruesome. 149 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,521 I wouldn't do it. 150 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,191 [ Footsteps ] 151 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,445 [ Suspenseful music plays ] 152 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:12,580 ♪♪ 153 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,916 Aaaaagh! 154 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,418 Ha ha ha. 155 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,215 [ P.A. system feedback screeches ] 156 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,466 [ Echoing over P.A. ] Testing. Testing. 157 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,592 Hello, idiots. 158 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,219 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you 159 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:29,347 for accepting this suicide mission. 160 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:32,016 Your target, a one Brock Samson, 161 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,185 has been really bored lately 162 00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:37,188 and will enjoy the shit outta this. 163 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:40,566 Each one of you fine soldiers will be sacrificed 164 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,984 for his amusement. 165 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,945 Your unavoidable deaths will become 166 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,404 the stuff of legend. 167 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,157 Every new recruit will hear the story 168 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,077 of the time the Guild Blackout Team 169 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,121 got locked in the VenTech Tower 170 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,581 behind 7-inch, bomb-proof steel doors 171 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:59,335 and were killed one by one in glorious service 172 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:02,380 to this dumb-ass guild you joined. 173 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:06,759 Good luck out there, and thank you for your service. 174 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,386 ♪♪ 175 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,096 Oh come on, Hatred. 176 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,556 You really don't keep a gun back here? 177 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:12,849 What's wrong with you? 178 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,852 Hatred: Now, I'm a by-the-book kinda guy. 179 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,728 Everything above board. You know? 180 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:18,980 Straight shooter. 181 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,398 So I'm not gonna spin 182 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,484 some cock-and-bull story about being a relative. 183 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,654 But I ask you, what is family? 184 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:29,490 Because I promise I exceed every qualification 185 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,202 one could possibly ascribe to that noble word. 186 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,996 Are you a blood relation or not? 187 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,873 Bested! Oh! 188 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,749 Nightly nurse Cindy Marie Abrams, 189 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,043 you are my Waterloo. All right. 190 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,712 If you could just have a seat in the waiting room. 191 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,921 Of course. 192 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,048 Moriarty to my Sherlock! 193 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,510 Saturated fat to my delicious chocolate cookie. 194 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:53,848 Anyway, I wrote it all down, so... 195 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:54,932 [ Clears throat ] 196 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,977 Dear Hank, I am a crap brother. 197 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,312 [ Monitor beeping, respirator hissing ] 198 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:02,440 One -- I ate that half of a Whatchamacallit bar 199 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,357 you left in the fridge, 200 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,443 and I blamed Brock for it. 201 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,196 Two -- Remember your Bop It Extreme? 202 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,948 I broke it. Like, intentionally. 203 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,159 All right, that one, I don't really regret. 204 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,368 I mean, remember that song it played? 205 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,579 It was totally insane, and it never stopped. 206 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,749 Spin it, pull it, bop it! Break me into pieces! 207 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,335 [ Sighs ] Okay, three -- 208 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,378 Remember when you liked that 98 Degrees song, 209 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,339 and I was like, "Oh, that's stupid, 210 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,549 and that guy looks like a shoe box with eyes"? 211 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:32,345 Well, I liked it, too. I was embarrassed. 212 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,514 Four -- I borrowed your 98 Degrees CD 213 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,599 and didn't tell you. 214 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,100 ♪♪ 215 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,102 No no no, this is my death dream. 216 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,481 You're in my Purgatory, my Barbarella Purgatory! 217 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:44,941 It's not a Mynoc. 218 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,317 Uh, news flash -- 219 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,361 you had a stroke right before Thanksgiving. 220 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,821 You're in a coma. You're not dead. 221 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,241 I did? Well, doesn't that beat all. 222 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,533 When the heck did you have a stroke? 223 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,618 No clue. 224 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,079 I remember going out to rescue my girlfriend, 225 00:08:58,162 --> 00:08:59,538 and then I'm here. 226 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,333 I must have had a stroke from worrying about my true love. 227 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,335 Yeah, your dad was like that, too. 228 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,170 If someone got drunk and smiled at him, 229 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,214 he dug in his heels and rode that poor woman 230 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,715 till she stopped taking his calls 231 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:10,967 and moved to another town. 232 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,260 She also changed her name, 233 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,345 and I can't tell you what her new name is. 234 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,638 Are you talking about my mom? 235 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,638 Yes. 236 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,390 And damn it, Hank, you're missing my point! 237 00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,517 You haven't really done anything with your life, 238 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,144 and now you're obsessing over puppy love. 239 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,021 Not puppy! What was my mom's name?! 240 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,439 It's Bobbi Saint Simone! 241 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,316 And you have to grow the heck up! 242 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,152 Your obsessive first love gave you a stroke. 243 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,196 I've had a lot of loves, thank you. 244 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,197 That's a dumb name! 245 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,740 She was an actress! 246 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,076 And you had one girlfriend. 247 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,076 [ Creature snarls ] 248 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,495 Aah! Wampa! 249 00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:41,163 [ Gasping ] 250 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,959 End of the line. Nowhere to go. 251 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,294 I'll shoot! 252 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,671 Please. Go ahead. 253 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:50,673 [ Thud, objects clatter ] 254 00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,386 [ Gasps ] What are you? 255 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,972 I'm the guy that's gonna shove this blade 256 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,599 so far up your ass that -- 257 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:02,893 Come on! 258 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:05,021 When did they issue poisoned teeth to you guys? 259 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,564 That's cheating! 260 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:07,982 Watch: Run it again. That -- That can't be right. 261 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:11,861 Dude, it says the same thing as it did the last three times. 262 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,238 No way. It's definitely way. 263 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,282 Oh, we got another one. 264 00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,908 They're stacking up like cord wood. 265 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,160 Who cares about that? 266 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,369 Dude, run the data again. 267 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,454 This can't be true. 268 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,331 I'm telling you, it's true! 269 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,250 According to this clunky old blood analyzer, 270 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:30,713 The Monarch and Dr. Venture are blood related! 271 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:37,094 ♪♪ 272 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,388 Red Mantle: Saphrax, heavy with goat 273 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,640 and burdened with terrible chicken, 274 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:45,144 came to the bridge and was stopped by the keeper. 275 00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:46,937 I'm so proud of you, sweetie. 276 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,565 I, Saphrax, wish to cross. 277 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,401 What is your business on the other side? 278 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,612 Young Saphrax, still angry from taking 279 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,531 the awful advice from the magic chicken, 280 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,909 was impetuous, and answered... 281 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,327 There, on the other side, 282 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,788 your mother waits to willingly fornicate. 283 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,331 All: Oh, no, he didn't! 284 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,249 You shall not pass. 285 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:11,253 Then, from the wood, came Altheaeus. 286 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,963 All: The first Henchman. 287 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,132 And he did aid Saphrax. 288 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,676 Bridge keeper, behind you stands my troops, 289 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,347 100 strong and thirsty for bridge-keeper blood. 290 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,933 Really? I shall look behind. 291 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,394 I have made you look. Hunh! 292 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,687 I have been deceived expertly! 293 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,441 All: Altheaeus, the father of "made you look." 294 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,695 Let Altheaeus step into the light and declare his deeds. 295 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:40,449 I, Henchman 21, have earned by might and rite 296 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,327 the honor and rank of a Level Ten Henchman. 297 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:46,122 I am without fear. I am Altheaeus. 298 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:50,626 Altheaeus, you have performed beyond that of a mere henchman. 299 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:54,130 You have earned the station of Villain. 300 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,340 Wait, what? This wasn't in my script. 301 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,300 Like, me, or my character? 302 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,679 Me? 303 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,679 You, Henchman 21, 304 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:06,267 have earned the title of a Level 4 Super Villain. 305 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,145 What the fuck? 306 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,855 This was my party! 307 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:13,190 Dean: Number 57 -- 308 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,776 We just stopped being close. 309 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,486 I never tell you anything anymore. 310 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,448 Did I tell you pop was cloned like us? 311 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,575 Yeah. Helper's brother told me that. 312 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,327 Whoa. Did I even tell you that Helper has a brother? 313 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,163 Oh -- Oh, my God. Do you even know 314 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,622 that Dermott is our half brother? 315 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,207 Yeah, he's the son of that girl 316 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,751 you lost your virginity to who dad knocked up. 317 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,420 He told me when he was drunk. 318 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,173 He also told me he still masturbates. 319 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,383 Ew. Anyway. 320 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,552 58 -- I'm jealous that you don't care 321 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,554 you're dressed like Batman in public. 322 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:46,307 Hey. Hank. 323 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,184 You okay? 324 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,184 I'm okay. 325 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,518 Are there Wampas in "Barbarella"? 326 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,770 Oh, God, no. So far, I've only been attacked 327 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,398 by little kids, dolls, and a bunch of damn canaries. 328 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,108 That was like a real monster. 329 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,693 See? "Empire Strikes Back". 330 00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,029 Well, how do you kill those things in your movie? 331 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,449 I use the Force to get my lightsaber and lob his arm off. 332 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:06,076 But I'm clearly Lando Calrissian here. 333 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,662 His weapons are smoldering sexuality 334 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,207 and a rakish smuggler's charm. 335 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,501 So I'll seduce the wampa, 336 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,377 and then I'll sell you out to the Empire. 337 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,254 [ Roars ] 338 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,254 Aah! 339 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,340 He's back! Start seducin'! 340 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,509 Oh, sweet baby Wampa, 341 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,427 I don't claim you can have a better time 342 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,180 with Hank 45 than without it... 343 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,640 but why take chances? 344 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,850 [ Laser fires ] 345 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:30,684 [ Thud ] 346 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,394 I didn't know I could do that. 347 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:34,813 [ Bodies thud ] 348 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,649 Follow me! 349 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,651 Is he from "Empire Strikes Back"? 350 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,777 Kinda. 351 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,737 I think I wanna see that movie. 352 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:46,659 ♪♪ 353 00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:50,496 With the taste of love still on his breath, 354 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:53,707 Saphrax made his way to the throne of Emperor Flavius 355 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,668 and unsheathed his sword. 356 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:58,420 Rise, Flavius, and meet your doom. 357 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,590 It is I, Saphrax, your sworn enemy. 358 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,927 I have bed your wife twice and now leave her to you, 359 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,428 soaked in my seed. 360 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,223 All: Saphrax, the father of players. 361 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,683 Wait! 362 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,561 Use my sword, Mr. Monarch. 363 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:16,313 This isn't wood. This is a real sword. 364 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:20,734 Yes. And that is your real sworn enemy. 365 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,404 You begged me for a line and -- 366 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:24,863 Yes. Yes, of course. 367 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,325 Mr. Monarch, here in this ritual space -- 368 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,829 that is in space -- anything can happen. 369 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,665 [ Muffled shouting ] 370 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,543 Z: We all know the choice that Saphrax made. 371 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:40,462 But what is your choice? 372 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:44,842 So... I can just like...kill him? 373 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,678 We will cover it up, and you'll get away scot-free. 374 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,471 Your grudge will be settled, and you'll be free 375 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,557 to do...whatever. 376 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,226 We shall leave you two alone. 377 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,437 What you say is yours. 378 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,772 What you do is yours. 379 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,567 What you decide is yours. 380 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,069 [ Muffled shouting ] 381 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,905 Aaaaaaaah! 382 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,782 Hold on... I gotta whiz. You wanna take a whiz break? 383 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,201 Anyone wanna take a whiz break? 384 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,704 For like, for real? You serious? 385 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,581 Yeah, seriously. What about you, 386 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,291 guy with a bead on me who needs to reload? 387 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:18,626 [ Gun clicks ] 388 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:19,585 Man: Damn it! How did you -- 389 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:20,794 I learned to count when I was 3. 390 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,087 Do you need to piss or what? 391 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,505 Yeah. 392 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,799 Hatred: I respect your position. 393 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,636 I myself man a reception desk. 394 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,846 But everyone has a price. 395 00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:33,557 Now, I'm a man of modest means, 396 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,561 but I do have something everybody needs once in a while, 397 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,397 and I know how to work it. 398 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,442 Okay, this is the last one. 399 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:46,111 The 124th reason I'm a crap brother. 400 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,446 [ Sighs ] 401 00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,822 I slept with Sirena. 402 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,991 I-I don't even know why I did it. 403 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,077 I mean, it's not like we're in love or anything. 404 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:53,994 I just... 405 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,788 I was stupid, and I miss you. 406 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,666 And I miss when it was just us all alone 407 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,668 at the compound with -- with no schools 408 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,462 or Sirenas or Jareds or confusions. 409 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:04,963 Just us alone in our stupid beds 410 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,299 with Grandpop talking to us in our sleep. 411 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,886 [ Sighs, sniffles ] 412 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,012 Aw. 413 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,806 Hank. 414 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,308 I always wished I had hair like yours. 415 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,893 Fuck you, Hank. 416 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,937 [ Scoffs, sobs ] 417 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,230 [ Sighs ] 418 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,358 You know how they say that we come into this world alone 419 00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:25,901 and we leave it alone? 420 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,820 Well, we came into it together. 421 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,490 So come back to me. Please. 422 00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:35,994 Phage: So I-I step into a teleporter, and I end up here in -- 423 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,997 We're calling it coma town. We had different strokes. 424 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,291 What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis? [ Chuckles ] 425 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,793 Nothing? 426 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,753 Neither of you have seen "Diff'rent Strokes"? 427 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,214 I haven't even seen "Barbarella." 428 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,214 Neither have I. 429 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,758 Does "Barbarella" have a glowing lake of goo? 430 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:53,679 You've seen the Matmos? Take us there! 431 00:16:55,097 --> 00:17:00,185 Yeah, this delicious slab of aged beef is all yours 432 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,605 if you just give me three minutes inside with Hank. 433 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,774 You could do what you want with me, 434 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,527 and I'll just purr "Yes, ma'am." 435 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,904 There you are. Could you uh, 436 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,115 maybe get your friend to stop? 437 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,826 Hatred, put your shirt on. I'll stay here with Hank. 438 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,662 You should really go home and, you know, check on Pop. 439 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,540 I mean, I'm sure he's just worried sick about Hank 440 00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,292 and could really use your comfort. 441 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,044 Okay, okay. You're right. 442 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,338 I'll just come back tomorrow during visiting hours. 443 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,882 And...tell Hank -- 444 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,718 Yeah. He knows. I'm sure he knows. 445 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:35,137 Phage: What the hell is Matmos? 446 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,055 I've seen "Barbarella" maybe 30 times, 447 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,641 and I still don't know what the hell Matmos is. 448 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,770 It's like this energy that surrounds everything. 449 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,355 -Like the Force. -Yeah, but it's confusing, 450 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,191 and it might have other powers. 451 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,359 It's completely unnecessary to the plot of the movie. 452 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,028 Ohh. Like midi-chlorians. 453 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,071 This is the Force. 454 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,907 You said I gotta grow up, right? 455 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:58,285 Well, what's more grown up than jumping into the Matmos? 456 00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,704 I don't know, a mortgage? Prostate swelling? 457 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,664 Child-support payments? 458 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,500 I'm not sure that jumping into that thing 459 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:05,834 would even be on the list. 460 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,629 Don't cry. You'll rust so dreadfully. 461 00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,339 Here. Here's your oil can. 462 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,673 Oh. 463 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,673 Goodbye. 464 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,509 Where did you get this can? 465 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,427 I think I'll miss you most of all. 466 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,804 Mwah! 467 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,847 Time to be a man! 468 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,850 If I don't come back, I'm either awake or extra coma dead. 469 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:26,605 Also, I'm pretty sure my brother slept with my girlfriend. 470 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:27,564 [ Grunts ] 471 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,942 See ya later, suckers! 472 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,445 That kid has moxie. 473 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,030 That kid has undiagnosed 474 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,200 attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. 475 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,495 Ward: Uh, this one has a note pinned to it. 476 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:44,915 "Send Doc back now! 477 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,584 Or I'm coming through this thing myself." 478 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,794 You think Brock wrote it? 479 00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,879 Obviously. Now let's go get Doc. 480 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,215 And tell everybody he's related to the Monarch. 481 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,426 Will you stop that? Show some class. 482 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,136 A little decorum. 483 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:06,019 ♪♪ 484 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,273 Your sword is without blood. 485 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,732 Emperor Flavius lives? 486 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,776 Yeah, yeah. He's -- He's still -- 487 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,612 Saphrax has decided to carry his grudge 488 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,155 without the help of Altheaeus? 489 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,783 [ Sighs ] You know what I've decided? 490 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:20,993 [ Sword clatters ] 491 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,412 That you guys are fucking dicks. 492 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,997 I come here to get my Level Ten, 493 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,833 and -- and you give my henchman Villain status 494 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,586 and give me the opportunity to kill my sworn enemy? 495 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:31,920 It's a total mind fuck! 496 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,591 This is the way of our guild, Mr. Monarch. 497 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,843 We must hear your decision. 498 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,262 Step into the light, Altheaeus. 499 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,640 Fuck it. Yep, fuck it. Fuck it. 500 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,101 Sure, let 21 be a villain. I'm done. 501 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,853 What, you think I can do this shit alone? 502 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:50,772 I'm too old to start again. 503 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,566 And now that you guys have my wife 504 00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:53,942 and -- and my best friend and -- 505 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,487 No! Fuck it! Fuck it, and fuck you! 506 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,616 Guild wins. Monarch out. 507 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,159 You know what? Me, too. 508 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,994 I don't want to have to be a villain without him. 509 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,163 I don't have that kind of Saphrax grudge. 510 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,457 I just want to help my best friend with his hate. 511 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,459 Fuck you guys. 512 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,920 Monarch crew. Hench for life. 513 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,673 Good! Good. 514 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,384 You have completed the final trial. 515 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,888 Saphrax spared the life of Emperor Flavius 516 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,849 and swore a blood allegiance to Altheaeus 517 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,268 as you have done here tonight. 518 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,480 Sweetie, it was a test, and you passed. 519 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,899 So -- So I'm a Level Ten? 520 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,193 -You and your Henchman... -Number 2. 521 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,112 ...rightfully are Level Ten Villains 522 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,324 with all benefits that title is heir to. 523 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,951 Congratulations. 524 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,079 All: All hail Saphrax and Altheaeus! 525 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:50,082 All hail! Yeah! All hail Saphrax! Congratu-- 526 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,292 Look, I don't want to mess up the after party, 527 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,670 but we need to get Doctor Venture back. 528 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,881 I gotta say it. I-I can't hold it in. 529 00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,257 Dude, not the right time. 530 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,217 I have to! 531 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,761 It's just too good! 532 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,598 Monarch: Are you kidding me?! 533 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,309 [ Up-tempo music plays ] 534 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:20,445 ♪♪ 535 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:27,536 ♪♪ 536 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:34,835 ♪♪ 537 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:37,921 Mr. Venture? Mr. Venture. 538 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,589 Mr. Venture. 539 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,589 [ Groans ] 540 00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:42,592 [ Gasps ] Yes? 541 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,928 Your brother is gone. 542 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,430 What? What? No! He was stable! 543 00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:48,932 They said he was stable! What happened? 544 00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:48,932 No, no, no, Mr. Venture. 545 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,810 He didn't die. He's gone. 546 00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:53,979 What? He's not in his bed. 547 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,647 He, like, left. 548 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,647 But -- 549 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,649 W-- 550 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,649 He's gone. 551 00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,068 Hank! Hank! 552 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,446 ♪♪ 553 00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,990 Hank? Hank?! 554 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,368 Oh. Sorry. 555 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:09,411 ♪♪ 556 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,538 Hank: I'm everywhere and nowhere. 557 00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:14,916 I'm a man on a mission and a mission on a man. 558 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,126 I'll find myself 559 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:18,920 even if I have to look in myself. 560 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:21,590 It's time I grow up. 561 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:25,218 Call me...The Bat. 562 00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:29,639 Poop!